SRS Having a hard time fighting off depression

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mars Princess, Jul 22, 2006.

  1. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    My last two years of college had me pretty depressed. I was up and down the entire year. It took little to trigger me into another episode of self pity and self-loathing, but I would eventually find something to smile about and go on with life. I figured if i just stuck it out in school, things would get better. Well, I've graduated and not much has changed. I'm still living at home and still looking for work, but this time student loan payments loom. I was released from my job today after thinking I had done work well enough to stay on another week. Even though I have interviews set up next week, I still feel like a mighty failure. I keep being told that this is "common," but I should at least be able to wait tables or something. I can't get hired danywhere and I've aimed high and low. Now I am back to being up and down in my feelings, crying periodically, and just feeling a lot of self-hate.

    All my old resentment towards my body image has resurfaced and its combining with my present feelings to make me unable to do much but go through the motions. I can't even bring myself to smile. I didnt talk much around my family tonight and I feel they noticed something was wrong, but I haven't the heart to tell them how much I'm hating myself and my life right now :(
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Try waking up and mapping your day out with positive thoughts. Thoughts are everything, they can change you and your situation in drastic ways. The only challenge is acquiring genuinely true thoughts. I can relate though.. especially to
    It's a pretty ugly cycle but I suppose it stops at some point.
     
  3. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    ya, I'm going to try that. I'm one of those people who love/need planners so that might help. I need one of those big desk calendears to make a literal list of positive thoughts cause right now I'm having to TRY to find enjoyment in things. I'm feeling ok right now but I go up and down :/ it's frustrating.
     

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