SRS Have you ever had sex to punish yourself?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AlextheDroog, Feb 12, 2008.

  1. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have you ever had sex with someone knowing that afterward the guilt feelings for doing it (whatever they are or come from) would make you feel bad about yourself and that was in some way a form of punishment...

    Usually the sex in the form of a one night stand or with someone you know you shouldn't..
     
  2. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2008
    Messages:
    252
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio, TX
    Yeah, I know what you mean.

    That was back in the all time low depression stage for me.
     
  3. PirateCandy

    PirateCandy New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2004
    Messages:
    803
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Washington
    Yes, I have had my fair share of meaningless emotionless sexual encounters. After the third or fourth, I decided it just wasn't worth it. Luckily, I didn't get careless with condoms and I was tested after every new 'partner'.

    I decided after that period that sex isn't something to mess around with. There are so many other aspects of my life that have guilt (or other negative emotions) attached to them that I just didn't want sex to carry that same weight.

    I was "chaste" for a year before meeting the person I'm with now, and I think it was worth it.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    As I said in the same thread in the Vag...

    Anyone who is a grown, mature adult and feels the need to punish themselves over something needs to seek therapy.

    When I screw up or make a mistake, I find out what I did, and resolve to not do it again, or find a better way to do it in the future, I don't feel the need to punish myself.

    We've all heard of people who feel the need to punish themselves...they are cutters.

    Does that sound healthy to you?

    Bottom line: Feeling like you need to punish yourself is not a healthy way to live.
     
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,942
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    sex is never a form of punishment for me.
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2007
    Messages:
    12,589
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    THE Hawkeye Nation
    what you described just means have you ever prudently decided that you are giong to fuck a girl EVEN though you might regret it later.....

    that doesnt sound like punishment..... but then again ive never felt bad about a one night stand, nor will i ever feel bad....

    a 1 night stand is just 2 people getting together for one great night to satisfy their own carnal needs and desires without having any obligations towards the other
     
  7. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0
    who said anything about it being healthy..

    as i stated in the other forum many people do it even if they don't admit it or even recognise that thats what their doing..

    take the film blacksnake moan for instence...that girl was punishing herself with promiscuous sex.
     
  8. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0

    the sex itself isn't a form of punishment its the guilt feelings or worthless feelings afterward.
     
  9. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,942
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    hmm...well, not exactly, but I've done something I shouldn't over and over until I felt guilty about it, which was a relief to me because it made me feel "normal".
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    and why on god's green earth would you deliberately bring guilt upon yourself?

    I see no point to deliberately making oneself feel guilty, depressed or otherwise in some negative state of mind. Well, maybe getting into character for something, or as some way of being a creative process...

    But to go out and do something to make you feel guilty, just for the guilt's sake?

    No. My life doesn't work like that.
     
  11. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0
    maybe its a form of penence for something you got away with..
    maybe its self loathing
    maybe its downward cycle of self abuse


    you'd be surprised how many people do that.. maybe not with sex specifically but in other ways
     
  12. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes I've heard of this before. However it's not usually that clear. Usually this occurs after a break-up and one partner wants the ongoing intimacy, but knows they're too vulnerable to emotionally connect, so they have "one night stands" as a substitute. They often feel guilt and pain, knowing they're using the other person, but they rationalize it, that it's fine, it's ok -- it's normal.

    They may continue doing it in spite of knowing how it makes them feel for a lot of reasons, sometimes punishment is a form.

    It usually means they need to talk about it, express themselves openly to someone they trust. Usually the reasons behind it rise to the surface after a dialog has been firmly established.
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    That's why he recommended therapy.
     
  14. psilocyborg

    psilocyborg Guest

  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    I've never had sex to punish myself because I don't find it to be punishment.

    Like someone once said, "When sex is good, it's really good and when sex is bad......it's still pretty good." :)

    I can honestly say I don't regret having sex with anyone nor do I regret trying to have sex with someone. My regrets have to do with women that I either didn't have sex with and/or didn't even try to have sex with. The sad thing is, there are a couple of women in this group that I really, really regret not making a move on. One in particular pretty much told me she wanted to sleep with me and she was so hot....I didn't sleep with her for a number of reason and I've always regretted it.

    So now, I try to remember these regrets so I don't repeat them.
     
  16. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdNhzDs-lOQ

    this kinda illustrates what i'm talking about..

    Its the first episode of In Treatment in HBO...

    An attractive young anesthesiologist whos been Pauls patient for a year, Laura is in the midst of a relationship crisis and faces an ultimatum, either break up with her boyfriend, Andrew, or marry him. But that dilemma seems simple in comparison to the revelations she unleashes on Paul during their sessions.

    in this session she's just gotten done clubbing and picking a up a strange man. check out how she reacts to the previous night...
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not watching a video. WHAT you are talking about is not important. WHY you are asking about it certainly is important.

    So...Alex, why are you asking this question?
     
  18. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2007
    Messages:
    11,400
    Likes Received:
    0
    Bingo
     
  19. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2004
    Messages:
    24,689
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think i've done it on a few occasions..

    i've noticed it among some people I know and think its one of the driving forces of the sex industry IMO..
     

Share This Page