SRS Hasn't been the same since the move (long)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bloodtype, Aug 17, 2005.

  1. bloodtype

    bloodtype New Member

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    About a year ago, me, my mom, step dad, and little brother moved from NY to Alabama. We left because it was getting harder every month to get by (if you live in a big city, you know what I mean). I thought it would be a good idea since my mom would be less stressed out about bills and I could leave behind my past and start a new life.

    Well, I was wrong. When deciding whether or not I was going to go or stay (because my brother said I could stay with him until I graduated college) I didn't factor in alot of things. I left all of my friends in NY, I left a college that I felt comfortable in and alot of the comforts that living in NY has over that of living in Al.

    I started getting really depressed as the time went on and I didn't make any new friends, which is mainly due to my shyness. I have a hard time initiating conversation and when I do I always end up putting my foot in my mouth which makes me not want to continue talking. I'm also very fearful of rejection and I care too much of what people think about me, which is another reason why I don't talk much.

    My cousins try to get me to hang out with them, but truthfully they're a bunch of thugs and not my kind of people. I went to a party with one of them once and because of my social anxiety I kind of just stood around looking stupid not really mingling. And this particular cousin didn't have the sense to introduce me to any people even though he knew like half of the people there.

    I'm enrolled in a college down here and I'm going to move on campus at the end of August, but I've been having second thoughts as of late. I originally thought moving on campus would be a good idea to make me socialize more, but now with my constant bouts of depression I don't know if I want to go. I may just be looked at as the emo guy in room #23 that doesn't have any friends.

    Recently something happened and my step dad, the main bread winner of the family isn't around, and finances are tight so I feel pressured to move on campus even though I'm doubting how I'll make out there, that and I'm 20. I don't really feel right you know being at home at 20 so that was anotehr reason I thought about moving on campus but now I don't know.

    I think about just up and moving back to NY and picking up where I left off but then I ask myself, will that really help, or will I bring my depressed feelings back with me? I haven't called my old friends because I was so down and even if I went back I think I've distanced myself from them too far.

    The other day they called me when all of them were just chilling walking through time square having a good ol time and I just wished I could have been there.

    I'm also a grade A fuck up. I was advised on what classes to take by my advisor but procrastinated and when I went to register them 3 out of 4 of them were closed so I non-chalantly chose replacement classes and now I realize I screwed myself over because school starts the 29th and I can't get in touch with my advisor to see if the ones I chose are acceptable for my gen ed requirements.

    I contemplate suicide on a daily basis but I'm not crazy enough to do something stupid like that. It's just that sometimes I wish I didn't wake up in the morning.
     
  2. RotiEatter

    RotiEatter New Member

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    Move back to New York. You can stay with your brother, attend your old school, and you're friends will accept you back as if you never left.

    Don't ruin your life by being the emo guy in room #23 just because you are depressed.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Sit down and figure out what you really want, deep down. Weigh your options (old friends, old lifestyle, etc vs. new opportunities, living with most of your family, getting a fresh start, etc). If you really want to move back to NY, put a plan in place to make that happen. If you need the fresh start and want to make a go of things where you are now, plan to succeed at that. I'd bet that the depression stems in part from perceiving a lack of control over your life. Well, take control back. Any goal can be accomplished by portioning out the path to get there into bite-sized chunks.

    On a (relevant) tangent, you can learn from this experience and apply it to future ones. In particular, focus on how you react to change and learn about what you can do to minimize or offset the damage it causes, and turn it to your maximum advantage. Things will change - life really doesn't have any guarantees - and how you manage now will help you later if something catastrophic happens (losing your job, suddenly becoming a single parent, etc...)
     
  4. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes, and go back to where you fit in, and feel comfortable. My cousin moved out here with his finance against everyone's advice. Now he's slowly going in debt (he's only 19), marriage is being slowly called off, and everything is going wrong, yet he still denies he was wrong, and even though he knows he should go back to how things were, he doesn't want to let people down and feel ashamed and wrong. Don't do that.
     
  5. bloodtype

    bloodtype New Member

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    You know what? I think you're right man. The way I feel down here is bound to only get worse the longer I stay here, so I'm going to finish up this semester at the school I'm in (so I don't default on my loans and have to pay them back immediately) and then I'm going to notify my brother of my change of heart, and call my old school and ask them about transferring back in.

    Thanks alot, all of you. I feel alot better and know what I should do now.:wiggle:
     
  6. gnat

    gnat New Member

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    Be sure to talk to him about it well ahead of time, like as soon as you've made up your mind to take this course of action. You don't want to put so much energy and hope into it and then his availability change. You could set yourself up for a major upset and increased depression.
     
  7. chips

    chips ...

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    i did allmost the same thing, I moved from texas to al in dec 03 I HATE al, with a passion so i moved back to texas, stayed there a few months but I missed my family alot, So i got a job in nashville a hour and 30 mins away from my parents, after that my life started geting better. Yes i miss my firends that i grew up with but you'll make new friends.
    but bottem line is go where you are happy.
     

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