SRS Has anyone Been in a long distance relationship??

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kurley, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    Me and this girl i have known since middle school just started dating over x-mas break but she goes to school in san diego


    any suggestions on how to make this work?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    It can work out only if you two decide to come together permanently, otherwhise you might as well consider yourself seperated.
     
  3. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    so do you think im wasting my time?
     
  4. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    like what kind of ground rules?

    i dont want to come off possesive or controling
     
  5. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    ahh i see

    so say we deiced to be serious

    am i setting myself up for heartache?
     
  6. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I have to say that I could have made my terribly unstable relationship last (longer, God only knows how long though) if she had not have gone long distance.

    Long distance is a big time killer. The phone sucks. I am terribly afraid to go long distance ever again, it may be one of the biggest relationship killers.
     
  7. IAmAPaperTiger

    IAmAPaperTiger Light the world on fire just to watch it burn OT Supporter

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    sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. depends on the people involved, what they want, how well they actually express what they want, etc. one thing for sure is that it is definitely one of the strongest tests for any relationship...which is why a lot of them fail :hs: i'd say just think long and hard about whether you're ready for a bumpy road because i don't think there's any denying it will be rough regardless of whether it works out or not. also, what's your location? you say she goes to school in SD but where are you from? distance can play a big factor too.

    i'm seeing a girl right now and we both live in fullerton (orange county.) shes probably gonna be moving with her sister to downtown LA sometime soon. that's only about 30 miles or less and i'm still wondering if it will work or not. like i said...just depends on the people involved :mamoru:

    good luck!
     
  8. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    I live like 2 hours away....but i just got into Boise State so ill be idaho....??
     
  9. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
  10. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    If you both want it and can deal then it will work. Right now my boyfriend and I are going to school 3 hours apart. We talk on the phone nightly. And we both KNOW we can trust eachother. We've both been cheated on and know how much it hurts. It is possible! :love:
     
  11. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Its very possible it can work, I was in one with my bf when we started our relationship (200mi/3 hr drive), and we've now been together 2 years (we've lived together for 1.5 of those now). You both have to equally want it to work and put an equal amount of effort and trust into it. Give it a shot. Better to have tried, than to always have wondered what could have been.
     
  12. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I'd have to say it doesnt work to well. The one I did didn't work and I ended it a while ago. If we come together later then maybe it will work, but right now I can't do a relationship that is 1000 miles away thats just bullshit. I'm a very physically affectionate person and distance doesnt work well with me.
     
  13. surferrosa

    surferrosa New Member

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    My boyfriend and I are in one. Like other people said, it really depends on the people involved. You need to discuss how serious you want to be with her, like if you plan on being together for a while. Good luck! :)
     
  14. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    To make a long-distance relationship work, both of you have to be exceptional communicators, motivated, and committed in heart and mind. You have to resist what's in front of you for what you believe wholeheartedly to be better but isn't immediately tangible. It's a tall order.
     
  15. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Been in one for 3 years, then was together for another 5 years after we were together.

    It's definitely possible, and if its something you both want bad enough, you will make it happen. But like mentioned above, you have to set a goal, of when it will end. There has to be a planned end to it, something to look forward to, or it won't work long.

    Right now 2 hours away isn't that bad, you see her on the weekends?

    Once you move, plan on having trips every so often to visit each other though.
     
  16. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    To be honest MOST long distance relatioships don't work!

    Give an ultimatum! That's probably going to be your best bet!

    For those who will hate on me for saying that (ultimatum) go right on ahead.

    If you don't set some ground rules or anything like that this relatioship will be going to shit!
     
  17. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Let me put it into one sentance.

    DO NOT I repeat DO NOT put your heart on the line over a long distance relationship.

    That was the one line. That being said, my friend put his heart on a long distance relationship with a girl in another province, found out she had another boyfriend, (in real life), and he got suicidal over it.

    Now he is very emotional, and a little nuts in the head, and an egomaniac... but he put his heart on something that was obviously not going to work.

    You are young and I do not think that you are going to actually be able to move in with her. I would tell her that you cannot take the relationship 100% seriously anymore, you feel your heart is on the line and it can be broken so easily.

    2 hours away might as well be a million miles away, since you cannot visit her 4 times a week.

    3 times a week is survival food. Some people can handle long distance relationships. But at this stage with your hormones flying and the potential to meet someone new... it is this type of situation that springs up a cheating thread, and the end result is another broken heart.

    CALL TO ALL MEN

    PROTECT YOUR HEARTS.

    Your heart is the only part of your body that loves you!
     
  18. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    With that said you have to think too.

    She is in a college long distance!

    That's where your going to run into the most problems!

    Due to the simple fact of all the different men that will show her all the attention that you can't give her!
     
  19. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    My daughter and I both have gone through long-distance relationships. First one did not work out for her, second one-well I suppose it worked as they moved in together in August and just got married last Saturday! :wiggle: My guy ended up moving here as we just couldn't take being apart so much. However, my daughter, her husband, me and my guy are obviously older than you are and have been around the block so to speak. It takes alot of patience, alot of communication, alot of time and work to make it work. Best of luck but my gut says you're too young.
     
  20. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Yes other men will be trying to become (not single) and will do things to try to get her.

    Men do not care about other men.
     
  21. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    yeah but she goes to Pt. loma

    its some Hard core christian school

    if you drink you get kicked out

    if you smoke kicked out

    sex kicked out

    you cant do nething


    does that mean anything?
     
  22. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    If you are possessive or a control freak, no, it will not work.
     
  23. Kurley

    Kurley New Member

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    but im not possessive or a jealous type....?
     
  24. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    I've been with my So for 3 1/2 years and the first two we were 411 miles apart from each other. for the first year we saw each other every 6 weeks. the second year we saw each other every 3 months because I was so busy with school and research. Then I graduated and moved closer to him (i'm about an hour away now) and started grad school.

    We never talked about when it was time to be together- we never gave any ultimatums- it just happened when it was suppose to. We have an amazing relationship and it hasn't always been easy being apart, but it wasn't the hardest, most horrible thing either.

    The part I loved the most about it was we had a really great courtship period. (I know that sounds SOOO dumb- but I'm a girl, I like that kind of stuff) We had a long time to build a great friendship to stand on. we've been very blessed- I know it's not like this for everyone.

    I think you should try this relationship with her- why not? what do you have to lose? Be careful with your heart of course, but give it a chance :)

    Good Luck!!
     

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