I read the sticky thread on happiness. I'd like to think that I have already figured out most of what it had to say. I used to try to "fill the void" with material goods. I ran out of money and realized that i wasn't any happier with all of the useless junk I bought. My father was the same way, but i don't think he ever came to the realization that I did. I've been ebaying shit he bought up until the day he died, most of it unopened even though he'd had it for years. Nowadays I'm far more frugal, and what i do spend my money on is really worthwhile. For example: My cars have always been way more than i need for A to B driving, but very enjoyable and therapeutic to drive. But i placed an unhealthy value on them: At one point in my life i would have cried if anything happened to my "baby." I've gotten past that (good thing too - my brother wrapped her around a tree last summer, thankfully nobody was seriously hurt). Another example: My next big purchase will likely be a new guitar. When depressed i used to go poking around thinkgeek.com for "something to buy." Now i grab a guitar and absorb myself in a piece of music I want to learn. If I believe in any sort of higher power, it's the karma system the sticky described. Do unto others and all that good stuff. I try very hard to live by that. I'm fair, courteous, open, caring, all of that. Sometimes almost too much - i am not quite assertive enough at times, though i have gotten better at this in recent years. I feel my job is one area that's solid evidence for this. I work in IT, and the majority of my time is spent doing tech support for our users. Our users HATE the IT department with a passion (we deserve some of it, but not much). And yet they absolutely love me. I don't talk down to them for not knowing even the most basic of basic things pertaining to computers, I'm always good natured, responsive to their problems, willing to listen to their complaints, etc. etc. They usually show their appreciation (some don't, but they're your typical sand-in-vagina-old-lady types). My friends say the same things about me - they generally like my company, i'm apparently a good guy to be around. I'm always telling people life is too short, live it up. Relationships and experiences are what matter. No regrets... throw in any other cliches that you think fit. James Dean once said "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." That's my philosophy for life. And yet i'm not happy. I think the problem is I'm scared to death of not having any good experiences or relationships. Getting older scares the SHIT out of me, and I'm only 20. I feel like I've already missed out on so much in life, and each day that goes by is more opportunity passing me by. I almost focus so much on leading a fun, quality life that my life is made worse by it when i can't do what I strive to do (be the thing stopping me my own personal fears and insecurities, or some external factor beyond my control). Does that even make sense?