Hanging out with the ex...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sunami, Sep 12, 2005.

  1. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    My ex and I just broke up about a few weeks ago. We went out for 3 years on and off because of distance and problems I kind of caused. The break up wasn't bad. In fact it was the hardest break up I had to endure because it's just we are too young and to commit now would be to early. No real problems in the relationship while we were together. Some personality issues but all and all things I think could have been worked through. Both around 21 btw.

    Anyways fast forward to now. I was comtemplating not hanging out and we didn't for a couple days, but I want things to be cool. I want to become friends. I guess a little more background. Long distance for 3 years and finally i moved up to where she lives for school and now we are broken up. Sorry the story is so broken up and kind of incoherent. Just trying to finish it asap.

    The other day while watching tv there was a lot of sexual tension. Things got a little heated. Didn't kiss but was damned close and there was a lot of physical activity. Just too horny and the sexual past is gettign in the way

    She says she can't hang out with me and it will be hard to become friends. I see her point, but I feel so bad that we can't just hang out as friends. That's what I want, but the urge is too strong.

    will it take us getting into relationships for this to diminish? can exes be friends with all that sexual tension? I would like to hope so, but i dunno if it's possible. It's hard for me to be the good guy. I'm so tempted.

    We both need to move on. This will hinder the process i suppose.

    Friends with benefits doesn't ever work out right?

    damn so sad that such a beautiful friendship will go to waste

    thoughts? I figure i should try to hang out with her only in public places and not alone at my place or hers.
     
  2. JaxFlJon

    JaxFlJon Guest

    being friends never works.
     
  3. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    I guess if we never had sex it would be possible

    This hurts me. I always envisioned in the long run we could be really good friends no matter what the circumstance.
     
  4. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Im friends with a couple of ex's. Honestly it takes a while (for me yrs) to be able to hang out with them truly as friends.

    edit; and when u can be friends. Its nothing like u imagine. Keep in mind u guys were great friends because of how much you shared. When and if you become friends again. Both you and her will have new people in ur life to share thnigs with.
     
  5. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    friends with benifits will only prolong the pain and make things MORE messy. believe me, i just got done with the same kind of situation. burnt that bridge to the ground now.
     
  6. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    Maybe i was being too idealistic thinking that it could work out quickly

    I'm not doing friends with benefits for sure. Somebody always gets hurt.

    well i suppose it's possible. just might take years hah
     
  7. Liddy

    Liddy Not enough cowbell.

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    Maybe just spend a long period of time away from each other, let the emotions diminish and then see if you can be friends :)
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    im friends with most of my exs, and each one it took different amounts of time. one guy (year relationship) we went to the movies the next week, another (3 year) it took 18 months before we could be civil, much less friends.

    and then another i broke up over the summer aftrer a 2 month courtship and we almost had sex the other night at a party. :rofl:

    trying not to let that happen again. its not productive. but yeah, it helps if both people find themelves genuinely happy in other relationships.

    oh, and try hanging out with others at first, no one on one....
     

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