That's about how I'm going into this, stopping drinking I think. Sadly it's more a matter of I finally looked at what it is costing and realize that while I am drinking I wont care about anything at all, so I need to stop, I just don't care to or about anything else really. A tiny bit of history, I had a stressful job, and I heard alcohol helps, and it did. It helped me when I snapped and being drunk was better than not. However I lost that job and others along the way and in the end it's been about two years now drinking about a case of beer a day, 12 cans, so a bit over 4 liters of beer a day. Sounds like a lot, but well it always varied, as high as 30ish cans in a day, or as low as taking a few days off, but that's a good average. However I should point out that it has been going up to about 18 recently, not sure why but that just seems to be my cut off now. However the thing is I smoked, kicked it no problem, done that with other minor things as well, addictions were just not something that happened to me, totally wrong there. I took about 5 days off a few weeks ago, I had head aches, felt ill, saw fucking spiders everywhere I went, and well after someone mentioned alcohol I went and bought a 6 pack, slammed it back and felt a lot better, but I still see/feel spiders fucking everywhere. But the rest went away. Thing is since then I realized that I needed alcohol, before it was just habitual in that I'd buy it when I got home and that was it, now I actively make sure to get it which is far worse. So I talked to a few people, one on OT here, about it and well I guess I should be quitting for a lot of reasons. Big probably though is I don't actually care about anything, I could drink till I died and well it wouldn't bother me. But that's why I started to drink was that it made me normal, as when I snapped at work I stopped caring about everything, but it bled into my drunk state now and that makes it a major issue to deal with. Now from a bit of reading now it sounds like I'm fucked, in that I have been drinking more than most alcoholics do for quite a while and am likely to have problems with quitting on my own, and not in that I need a support group but more of a rehab center or something for what this shit apparently does when you quit it. So after reading all that I can only hope a few people that know what's up are left. How do I go about this now? I really do kind of need alcohol to function, I wonder what they'd say about showing up to an AA meeting drunk, much less how do you even find them? Anyhow thanks, anyone that has done this feel free to comment, help is appreciated.