SRS Had a a blow out with my father

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by scottymcc, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    Two days off, and I get caught up on the web till 6am. Fair enough but when he comes down knocking the door down and being rude it got to me. I asked him to repeat as he said it as he walked away.

    Just got worse...for those who don't know I'm bipiolar- ultraradian/mixed manic/flashbacks/psychotic.

    Was I wrong following him outside shouting him down? It felt right but fuck him, I felt like grabbing a knife cutting him up then doing myself.

    I se my shrink on Monday and he;s coming with me. I'll give him that, at least he wants to try to understand me.
     
  2. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    Yea you were wrong. So very, very wrong.
     
  3. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    An alchoholic abusive father who takes every turn tio turn your people against you?

    32 years of abuse and any one here would stand for it? Ity wasn't the odd spanking it was take my drunken bad days work out on you till you are black and blue.

    There is so much more, the usual is a lot milder, abusive language etc and pushing about.

    He is no loss to the world and has shown me today that even though he may go to the shrink with me he has already made his mind up.

    He drinks every day to the pint of passing out, belittles my mother, would have attacked her if not for me and my brother being there.

    A drunk abusive parent?

    The right to have a child may in some ways be seen as god given but the right of that child to be given a good home IS A RIGHT of the child.

    HE is no loss to the world. Fuck him, he is making his point clear.

    You say what Mr I have a nice famly and can't relate?



    What you don't get, what I said in the first post is I have an illness or two, one of which is only recognised by science a couple of years ago, I get flash backs 7-9 times an hour and tghat's probably the best bit, without understanding I will end up killing my father for all he has done.

    I asked to be locked up, he got pissed at that, got dsrunk and took it out on my brother. He is worthless, yar, I am too burt at least I c an end one life that cause so much pain to my mom.

    Or do you think it';s cool your dad beating on your mom?
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2008
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I don't know what to say. What a fubar situation. Good luck :hs: See your therapist, try it out, maybe you can overcome this stuff.

    WTF 30+ years, though. Why the hell are you still living there
     
  5. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    Please, look up ultradradian/mixedmania/psychosis/flashbacks/etc

    Join them altogether. My brother nearly left after two days because of him last holiday.

    I have a drug, the one an d only drug that works on me and when getting them in the UK it seems they don'ty do them. I was in a state. My father got angry, drunk, belittled me, made me feel like a whole lot worse.

    He is scum.
     
  6. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    Trained as a chef, worked away at 21 - 25 but social phobia, paranoia, auditory and primary hallucinations, flashbacks, etc make it impossible to stick a job.

    Always ended up in an altercation with the manager.

    Bordered on some kind of assault.
     
  7. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

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    Yes, you're still wrong to follow him out shouting him down, despite all your justifications of how shitty a person he is. You're feeding into a situation that's already got you irate. The lack of sleep didn't help much, I'd say :(
     
  8. deuceforty

    deuceforty between rupture and rapture

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    well dude, trust me ive been there.. a little background on me

    alcoholic stepdad who was way too young to be my parent, had serious control and dominance issues.

    when i was 10 he married my mom, i used his credit card to order some petty shit off the internet that totalled less than 80 dollars. i got the living shit beaten out of me (i was slipping in and out of conciousness) was verbally humiliated, degraded etc. on a semi daily basis for the better part of 5 years.
    i would always justify that he was such a d-bag, i hated him etc. blah blah.

    when i was about 16 i realized that yes, he was a really shitty father, a horrible role model, but alot of our fights at that point were because not only was he STILL punishing for what i had done 6 years ago, but i would just argue right back with him..

    granted i STILL think its fucked up to come home to your 17 year old stepson obviously in a rage from a bad day at work, and literally walk around the house looking for something wrong so you can yell and punish your stepson.. i mean seriously, he would come in and YELL "im gonna bust your ass for something"

    what did i do? go the fuck out of the house, went to college, made a life for myself. he is still a douchebag and yells at me and tries to make me feel guilty for having a life in college, the last time i went home he brought me outside and said

    "your fucking up my life and your moms by not coming home. your tearing our family apart"

    i just gave the :hsugh: said "i understand" to everything he said, drove away laughing and called my gf to tell her how much of a psycho he is



    all that said you have to realize, that YOU make alot of the situations worse whether you want to justify it or not... he probably just came to check on you to see if you were ok, i mean shit it was 6 am, he obviously DOES care about you if he went to therapy and supported you... when i was in middle school my school MADE me go to therapy because all my teachers said i needed it bad... me and my mom went, after 2 sessions the therapist said "well, its obvious most of your issues stem from problems with your stepdad, we need to get him in to work through this" we went home, said "hey the therapist said you need to be involved in a group discussion" he said "im not going, theres nothing wrong with me, your just a fuck up and your trying to make me your problem"

    :hsr:
     
  9. luke2o9

    luke2o9 New Member

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    Go talk to Dr.Phil...
     
  10. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    :ugh2: I understand you're new and all, but this is not the main forum. If you're not going to be constructive, find yourself elsewhere.
     
  11. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    We teach our kids a shit load of stuff, maybe not to go out to a 7/11 and blow away some dude but anger, the way to deal with a situation, etc..we teach our kids some ways to cope with life and some ways come back to us.

    This guy has given me and my family grief over 32+ years. Should I not be aloud to be a bit pi9ssed off for the first time, have him on the back seat and enjoy it?
     
  12. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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    32. Unable to live by myself though for 3-4 years I tried.
     
  13. scottymcc

    scottymcc New Member

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  14. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    You're an '06, you should know better.:squint:
     
  15. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    There is a lot of anger in your heart.

    Your father and mother are with you for life.

    It may break your brain to hear this, but you must learn to love your father.

    After years of abuse, you must love him.

    If someone hurts another person, that person should not hurt back in return.

    The world would be full of hurt if it worked that way.

    If your father hurts you, you must love him in return.

    If he goes back and hits you when you love him and express your love for him, then love him more.

    This is not to be taken out of context in a crazy way, rather a normal way. Love him by not getting up and yelling at him.

    I mean you are up at 6 in the morning. I'm up past 9:26 and no sign of sleep in the last 24 hours, my father would be pissed if he knew it.

    But anger coming out of my heart because he had a bad reaction to what time I stayed up until is not correct. It is wrong to yell at anyone.

    It hurts you. You need to close the door to hate and open the door to love.

    32 years. Let bygones be bygones. Shocking to hear? Let it. Why not let yourself have a miracle where you turn around and start loving the man, and he will not know what to do and cry, because he will not be able to comprehend why you still love him.

    Love him. If he's acting like a boy and hating, you act like a man and love him. Even if he is your father.

    Anything else is an excuse from a poor part of the mind that I don't even want to hear. Everyone is tired of everyone else's psychological song, it's time to start singing a new tune man.
     

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