SRS guys who are divorced with kids

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bastid, Sep 26, 2006.

  1. bastid

    bastid New Member

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    does it ever really end? am i ever really going to be over her? it's been 5 years, and i still (god i know it's stupid, but it never hurts to hear it again) have sex with her occasionally. i've dated other girls, had girlfriends, but i've never had the same feelings for them as i had for my ex-wife. i'm going to have to see her for the rest of my life because we have 2 kids together. what the fuck am i supposed to do?

    feel free to comment even if you're not divorced with kids, i just said that in the title because i'd like to hear from someone who is. just a little reassurance that time will fix things and make me move on, because it hasn't so far.
     
  2. infinite loop

    infinite loop Statistically speaking, the Yankees do indeed suck

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    i have no advice to give.

    i will tell you though that the thought of not getting over someone 5 years later has thoroughly ruined my evening :wtc:
     
  3. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    Yea having sex with her is pretty much the worst idea ever. As much as at my age I probably wouldn't date a guy who had kids- I certainly wouldn't date a guy who still slept with his babies momma. I never really get over a person until I make a true connection with another person, so I know how you feel there.
     
  4. bastid

    bastid New Member

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    I know it's a terrible idea to have sex with her still, thanks for the reinforcement there. I try to justify it in my head by saying as long as she's calling me for it, and i'm not calling her then it's ok. I know it's bullshit, and I need to just stop.

    I don't have an issue with getting dates, but I also don't run up to girls and say "HEY I STILL HAVE SEX WITH MY EXWIFE ON OCCASION, YOU WANNA GET DINNER?"

    But I do hope that you're right about the connecting with another person. I'm hoping that's all it is too. If that's the case then it's just a matter of time.

    Oh and Infinite, don't feel too bad man. This isn't the normal case here. We dated for a year and a half, got married young (17) got divorced right before i turned 21, then got back together for a while when we were 23-24 and had another kid. I've been divorced from her for 5+ years, but it's been just a bit over a year since we quit trying to work things out.
     
  5. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Well either stop having sex with her or Is it possible that you can work things out and get back together? I mean you still sleep with eachother and have kids, you care for her still and I am sure she is the same. Is there any way to work this out?
     
  6. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I'm just curious to know why the marriage failed and why you guys won't get back together if you're still sleeping together.
     
  7. bastid

    bastid New Member

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    We got back together when she got pregnant with our second. Things were fine and one day she just told me she didn't want to be with me. It kind of rocked me seeing as how it was out of nowhere, and it was pretty bad between us (back to court over visitation/support again and everything) We're just now being civil again.

    PS, no you don't have to be civil with someone to sleep with them.
     
  8. bastid

    bastid New Member

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    I don't know. But talking about this here has definitely made me decide that I need some counseling.
     
  9. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    if you keep sleeping with her you never give yourself a chance to get over her.
     
  10. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    My brother got divorced and moved in with me for about 6 months. He had a rough time to say the least......it's been about 8 years and he's going to get married to a woman the entire family loves.

    Yes, even though you're tied to her for the rest of your life, you can (will?) get past her and find someone else.

    My guess is you have no idea what you're talking about. My brother was 41 when he got divorced and he did a lot of the stuff talked about in this thread. There's a lot of shit involved...a lot more than advice like "you're immature" or "get together and work it out" can help.
     
  11. bastid

    bastid New Member

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    Cool. That's the kind of stuff I really wanted to hear. You know after 5 or 6 years it just starts to weigh on me about finding someone else who I can feel for the same way I felt for my ex. Like I said I've dated around (and no I don't sleep with my ex when I'm seeing another girl) but I've just not found the right one. I'm hoping I'm just being impatient, but either way I think I'm going to get some professional help, because I don't think I'm in the right state of mind to even find someone who I really want to connect with. There's some sort of lingering dissatisfaction in my life right now, and I can't nail down it's source. Maybe if I can do that, then I'll be able to let go and devote my full energy to finding someone.

    That said, I think me and my ex could be happy together (for those who mentioned that.) It's a lot of work, and I guess I need to get my head straight before I even give consideration to something like that.
     
  12. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    When my brother got divorced the court mandated counselling. My brother was really against it but eventually admitted it helped a lot and actually continued on after the court said they could stop.

    Good luck.
     

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