FRK Guys of FS, how much does stress affect your sex drive?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sin, May 30, 2007.

  1. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    I'm really wondering about this. My boyfriend never wants to have sex and it's killing me cause I'm horny as hell. He says it's cause he's really stressed and he's the type of guy that doesn't have to have sex all the time anyway so that makes it even worse. We're fighting because of it and I feel like he's just not attracted to me anymore. He says that's not it that he's just really stressed and sex is the last thing on his mind right now. Also I do have that thought in the back of my head that what if he's cheating but he's a good guy and I really don't think he'd cheat. I'm just going crazy here, I want sex sooooooooooooooooo bad and I'm not getting it. :wtc: I probably sound selfish but I'm a very sexual person and the sex has to be there in my relationships.
     
  2. azucarpapi

    azucarpapi OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,703
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, Utah
    Stress can definately affect desires, for me, from hunger to sex drive. I guess not everyone is the same but hopefully he comes out of it!
     
  3. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    only once idk i think hes telling the truth i mean mayb u should try and do things to help him relax give him a massage or somthin
     
  4. f1manoz

    f1manoz Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2004
    Messages:
    23,871
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Amazingstoke, UK
    Although I may not particularly notice, if I'm hard at work all day, I don't always want to have sex with the girlfriend that night. A shit day at the office can stifle any urge to have sex with the girlfriend.

    Sometimes all I want to do is relax and go to sleep.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    I used to work in a very stressful job. There were times when I absolutely didn't want anything to do with sex until I got turned on. My g/f at the time would have to be patient and sometimes it just wasn't gonna happen. I'd usually get hard but couldn't cum and sometimes just lost interest 1/2 way through.

    However, there were many other times when I was stressed and sex was the exact thing I needed. Doing some light exercise (like a walk) right after work with my g/f usually helped and I'd usually want to do it after working out.
     
  6. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Hmmmm so stress can affect it that much. I knew it affected it some but just didn't realize how much I guess. He hasn't wanted it for over a month though, that seems like a long time. I give him massages to try and relax him and it does but relaxes him to where it puts him to sleep. I don't know I guess I have to be patient but it's getting very hard cause like I said I'm very, very horny and I can't take it much longer. I've been materbating alot but it's just not the same.
     
  7. Kazzander

    Kazzander I only got this for the search.

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    0
    I worked as a military recruiter for two years, and for the whole time I was all but impotent. I would come home and realize that the wife and I hadn't had sex in a couple weeks (day shift/night shift situation, which only added to the stress), and I would be ready for action. I would be actively thinking about it, visualizing everything that takes place, wanting that feeling that only a warm, wet vagina can give....and nothing. I would have her lie naked in front of me while I masturbated furiously, we watched our favorite porn together, I had her read me the best Hustler letters I could find, all to no avail.

    At 29 years old, I went to the doctor to ask about Viagra. That, coupled with my wife being ABSOLUTELY convinced that the problem was with her (didn't love her anymore, didn't find her attractive, etc. -- ugh!), bumped up the stress level even more. The doc assured me that it was probably just performance anxiety and that, like most other younger men he had seen, one night of Viagra-fueled penile performance would probably be enough to regain my 'confidence' and I wouldn't even need the rest of the trial pack. The results were mixed. (The sub-moral here is that military recruiting is a nightmare of a business that I wouldn't wish on Osama.) Interestingly enough, about two months after I was done with recruiting, my performance came back like it had never been gone.

    I guess the short answer (too late) to your question is: yes, stress can most assuredly affect a man's sex drive. One of the worst things you can do, as a woman, is to jump too quickly to the conclusion that the problem lies with you. Not only is it probably an incorrect assumption, but it will only add to the stress that the dude is already dealing with. Barring specific information about you and your SO and the particulars of the stress, I would say make an appointment for him to see his doctor and ask about Viagra, Levitra, and/or Cialis. As long as your SO doesn't have any pertinent health issues, he should be able to get a trial pack just by asking for one. It's not the obvious long-term solution, but it should certainly help in the interim.
     
  8. Vito_Corleone

    Vito_Corleone New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2003
    Messages:
    29,356
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, FL
    He's not attracted to you.

    (which is so odd, lol)
     
  9. owenstar

    owenstar New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2005
    Messages:
    491
    Likes Received:
    0
    It effected me a little...but not to the turn totally off point...and not every day...

    I dont wanna sound like a cock or anything but men are easy creatures and unless his masterbation has picked up...he may be getting it elsewhere...not to plant that into your head as pregnancy will twist your mind too...its hard to say without knowing all parties involved

    Sex is a great stress reliever
     
  10. Skizza20

    Skizza20 Robster craws? What the f*(& are robster craws?!?

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Messages:
    8,473
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    That's not true at all (well, about the getting it elsewhere thing). Stress can destroy a sex drive. A guy can definitely fall into an "all work, no play" mentailty as a result of a really stressful job situation.
     
  11. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2006
    Messages:
    4,945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Frozen Bowels of HELL
    Maybe it is a mix of stress(usually the MAJOR reason I don't get any) and fear of hurting the baby (a tiny bit maybe)?
     
  12. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah

    There aren't any other signs that he's getting it elsewhere so I'm not to worried about that. After reading the responses I'm understanding more about what he's going through. He's in the military and had something really fucked up happen to him and that was just the start of his stress. We're stuggling financialy right now. He had a fraud company rip him off and now his credit is fucked. Things have changed in his life alot, I definitley need to be more understanding and I admit I've been hounding him about not wanting to have sex and ya that's definitley not helping. I feel like a bitch now after thinking about everything. I just need to be patient, maybe go buy a dildo or something. :mamoru:
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2007
  13. spankaveli

    spankaveli OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    Messages:
    16,466
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    LA. State, not City.
    my stress affects my sex drive significantly. if there is something going on my life, work, with friends etc it will bother me and even though my mind isn't on it at that point, i just can't get in the mood.
     
  14. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    Also about the getting elsewhere part, I dont think he'd risk catching an std and giving it to me or the baby cause if he did he know's I'd be gone and he'd never see me again and I'd make it very hard for him to see our kid. I know that fucked up to say but that's how it would be cause that would be one of the most fucked up things he could ever do.
     
  15. Skizza20

    Skizza20 Robster craws? What the f*(& are robster craws?!?

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Messages:
    8,473
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    I know it sucks and it's going to be hard sometimes, but seriously, just try to be supportive and try to be patient. It's WAY easier said than done, but it will pay off in the long run. There are a lot of emotions kicking around that are complicating things right now. Once those things get resolved he'll be back to himself.
     
  16. spankaveli

    spankaveli OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2002
    Messages:
    16,466
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    LA. State, not City.
    i know this doesn't help but i always think it's funny how gorgeous women think their guys don't find them attractive. how could he not? that should be the last thing on your mind.
     
  17. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    Aside from last sunday, Tigre and i hadn't had sex for 3 months because we're both stressed out. so yeah, stress fucks shit up hardcore
     
  18. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2004
    Messages:
    13,491
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    PINKBOW
    The husband just doesnt find me attractive... and he blames it on stress.. meh sex is over rated just buy a bunch of toys.. yep yep just do it yourself;)

    don't listen to me.. im bitter.
     
  19. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    lol Thanks hun! :kiss:
     
  20. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    my best friend, a dude who had sex with 30 girls by the time he was 16, hasn't had sex in almost three years due to life stress.
     
  21. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah

    :eek3: Wow!
     
  22. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah
    So guys do you think he'd be offended if I bought a dildo?
     
  23. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2001
    Messages:
    52,552
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miramar, FL
    If he get's offended, you can ram it in his ass.

    Honestly, he shouldn't expect you to suffer (unless you're into that) because he's too stressed out to give you what you want
     
  24. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2007
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    0
    This exact same thing just happened to me... I guarantee you it's not because he's not attracted to you!! You're smoking, hon.

    Maybe he feels weird having sex with you while you are pregnant? Took my bf a little while to get used to that...

    But stress is probably it. I had to wait for my SO to come around and get his head around things again, and then we got busy;) I used my dildo a ton while he was messed up though, BUY ONE.

    DA
     
  25. Sin

    Sin I :love: CooperR6

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Messages:
    6,952
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Utah

    :rofl: I have to say I agree, I'm buying one! :mamoru:
     

Share This Page