guys in relationships...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by esandes, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. esandes

    esandes New Member

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    ..aren't there times where you find your woman way too clingy? It's as if she feels like she has to be with me 24/7. It's fucking annoying. Sometimes I want to be left alone to drink beer and watch a game.

    Am I the only one who appreciates some alone time?...some solitude?

    How do you get your solitude?
     
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    uh.. sack up and tell her?
     
  3. soundmaster2.0

    soundmaster2.0 Toasted OT Supporter

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    I say hay I want to drink a beer and watch the game.
     
  4. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    Nope, when i had a g/f i made it clear that when my team played i'd be down the pub. and if i was at home, then i would be watching it on my own :o
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Girls usually get clingy when you aren't paying them a lot of attention. From your attitude I can tell that sure, you hang out with her, but you don't really show her the amount of attention she needs. So either man up and tell her you need your space, or suffocate her so she wants more space for herself.
     
  6. esandes

    esandes New Member

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    she has me on a short leash. the only times i'm alone are when i jog or when i'm at work.

    don't women understand the whole concept of 'smothering'? it seems all my girlfriend smother the fuck out of me until i can't breathe.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    We get that, but she doesn't. So suck it up and tell her you need more space.
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Short leash and smothering are different things to me. Short leash means she is a control freak, and you need to set some standards on you being in control of your own life.

    Smothering means she is dependant on you, and cannot live without you, and requires more "kid gloves" kind of handling.
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    When you say "how do I get time to myself," to me that implies that your gf is going to be upset that you are spending time without her. It also implies that you are interested in avoiding her being upset.

    You can't avoid it. If she is going to be upset because of the WAY YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, then so be it. You can't be concerned with how she feels about it. You don't need her permission to do what you want to do.

    The problem is, you have most likely set the precedent that what she wants from you, she gets. So initially, you will encounter a lot of resistance from her. The key is, you can't act on your feelings of wanting to please her (give in).
    As an example, let's say she comes over to your place every day after work. But you need your alone time.

    There are many ways to handle the logistics, here is an example. Call her that day and tell her you are going to spend the evening alone and she needs to find herself something to do. She is going to get upset and this is where normally you would try to explain to her how important your alone time is. Don't. Don't explain yourself at all. Let her get upset, tell her what your plans are, then get off the phone. Don't call her that night at all. If she says on the phone "well I'm coming over anyway" tell her thats not acceptable and if she comes over you will leave and go somewhere else.

    You haven't set this boundary in the past of having your own time separate from her. But for the relationship to succeed in the long term, you have to have time apart. You have to. So what you are doing as the man and the leader of the relationship is, you are doing the right thing for you, her, and your future together.

    If she needs reassurance, its okay to let her know that you care about her and you plan to see her again. If you want, make a date for the weekend so she knows you aren't cutting your time together because you are mad or she did something wrong.

    If you aren't willing to set boundaries, you will be at the mercy of her feelings and you are going to make yourself miserable trying to please her.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    no. The wording of this seeks her permission.

    Command, don't ask.

    "Hey, I'm going to have a beer and watch the game. What are your plans?"
     
  11. esandes

    esandes New Member

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    she lives with me :Ownedd:
     
  12. CharlesMNeo

    CharlesMNeo New Member

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    damn shits flipped around for me, i hate to admit it but i guess im kinda clingy and i fuckin feel like such a pussy when i end up acting like how i expect my gf to act..
     
  13. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    meh. lots of guys are like that. don't feel too bad.
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    This is what made me not want to move in with my GF.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    then obviously you are going to have to go to a buddies house.
     
  16. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    Yeah I remember those times... it was back in HS :mamoru:
     
  17. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    QFT
     
  18. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    i feel 100% the same. She could be with me 24/7 and be completely content, not me though. i need alone time, i can be alone at home all day and keep myself entertained. i need time with my guy friends alone too. it does get on my nerves but it's not big enough to make me leave.
     
  19. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    Never had that problem...

    I only get into relationships with women I actually want to spend time with...but with that being said, we both still need our own time.

    So while I like being with her...I definately make it clear that on some days, I just want to be on my own...or watch the football game, hang out with my buddies. And it works vice versa as well.
     
  20. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Stop being a pussy and just tell her when you need some alone time.
     
  21. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    no, thats what hobbies are for. :hsugh:
     
  22. djskaw

    djskaw OT Supporter

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    yeah i like alone time and i feel like she wants to hang out too much too

    sometimes i just gotta be like well too bad
     
  23. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I tried this whole I don't ask, I command approach and it was one of the major things that ended my relationship. When I wanted to go out to a bar and my gf called I said "I am going to a bar with some friends" Sometimes I even invited her with me. She bitched about how I was not spending enough time with her. I did not give in and she was like later.
     
  24. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    You got rid of a structured woman who wants to run your life. This is a good thing. (Unless you like being led around on a leash?)
     
  25. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I guess I need to experience a gf that lets you do your own thing.
     

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