SRS Guy keeps calling me, even though I never answer.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by horseracing, Nov 23, 2008.

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  1. horseracing

    horseracing New Member

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    I used to work with this guy, and we hooked up once. After that, I realized it was a mistake - he'd constantly talk to me about sex and wanted to "get off" on the phone. It grossed me out. So anyways, I just ignored him, and still do. You might say, oh, why don't you just tell him you're clearly not interested? I could do the mature thing, but it seems almost funny to me that - six months later - he's still calling me at least a few times a week, sometimes over and over.

    I've never come across such a desperate guy. Have you had similar experiences where a guy just DOESN'T get the message? Do you think I'm being oh-so-cruel? By the way I don't fear for my life or anything like that. I'm not going to call the cops or worry about this. I'm just curious to know what y'all think. Sometimes after a guy hooks up with a girl, HE ignores her, and she's expected to get the message. So I can't feel sorry for this guy.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2008
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    How can he "get the message" when you aren't giving him a message?
     
  3. horseracing

    horseracing New Member

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    Isn't not answering someone's phone calls a message that...you might not want to talk to him/are completely indifferent to him?
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    No.

    But I think you're being a jerk for not answering one call and telling him "please stop calling." You think it's funny that guys usually do it and you're somehow getting back at men, but I bet you bitch about men when they do it to you :o

    Answer the phone. Tell him to stop calling.
     
  5. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I agree with the above posts.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Guys don't read minds, and sadly some are as dense as this guy. Stop being passive aggressive, answer the damn phone and tell him to leave you alone. Hang up. Done.
     
  7. horseracing

    horseracing New Member

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    You all have a point. But if you were in his shoes, would YOU have received some kind of message right now? Perhaps even that this girl isn't worth your time?
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Of course, but that's not the point. The very obvious point is he doesn't get it...so maybe you are the dumb one for not figuring out by now that you needed to tell him off :dunno:
     
  9. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    he's spending 4 seconds to make a call and possibly get sex. if you answer the phone it's either to say "stop calling" or "I'm in whore mode again, come over."

    apparently your first time was worth the 4 seconds every week since. go you :ugh2:
     
  10. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Absolutely. I would have received the message after the third phone call. I don't leave answering machine messages, so I call until the person picks up -- until the third time. I give a few days between each call. If the third call doesn't get an answer, I let it go and move on.
     
  11. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd:

    i have no sympathy for you since you haven't told him to stop calling. :rolleyes:

    even though guys and girls do this, it's still bullshit. just be mature and be upfront and honest with the person. :rolleyes:
     
  12. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    just tell him off already. i do think its odd that he hasn't gotten the message though. however, don't expect him to just stop calling even after you tell him off because some people are just persistent.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you could always say "listen, there's no point in calling me anymore...I've had 2 kids, I weigh over 250 pounds...still wanna fuck me?"

    I kid. But if flat out telling him to leave you alone doesn't work, try telling him you're horribly unattractive.
     
  14. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    In a completely passive aggressive, non efficient, immature manner that avoids conflicts and can totally be misconstrued in any number of ways...sure.
     
  15. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :bowrofl:

    best answer yet.
     
  16. mandrew

    mandrew New Member

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    yeah.... it's a shitty way to send the message, however I think after a certain point he should have an understanding that you aren't interested.


    But don't be surprised if he hates you now because you couldn't just tell him you weren't interested. People usually like an explanation about these things.
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I just tell someone the truth, and the moment they get aggressive or angry, I hang up. I am fair and considerate, but I am not tolerant of reactive behavior.
     
  18. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I disagree with most of the people who posted above. If you had picked up and told him to stop calling, they would most likely mention that he's calling you because you keep picking up. Catch 22.

    He got your message, but he is most likely clinging onto you and hopeful. Unfortunately, at this point all you really can do is pick up and tell him to stop calling, but I do not think he is the type that won't stop calling after that. At that point there are several things you can do. When I was in your situation and had an ex calling me multiple times a day, sometimes over and over, after telling her to stop calling me, I signed up for a service on AT&T for $5.00 a month that'll allow me to block incoming calls from certain phone numbers.

    My current SO is also in the same situation with an ex of hers. She hasn't seen/talked to him over a year and he's still constantly calling her. But it's not helping her much as he seems to have a lot of different phone number to call from everytime another one is blocked.
     
  19. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    :wtf: Who does this? If you don't get an answer the first time, maybe they were in the bathroom. If you don't get an answer the second time there is some reason they are ignoring you (movie, meeting, nap, school, or they just plain don't want to talk). Who calls a third time unless someone is in the hospital?


    And yes, you shoul answer, ONCE, to tell him to stop. If he keeps doing it get a restraining order or just change your number if it bugs you that much. It kinda sounds like you like the attention tho
     
  20. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Since I don't leave messages it makes sense. I'm calling them, not their voice mail. It's not unacceptable, it's actually very reasonable.

    Three times has always worked for me. Sometimes the first call was the charm, sometimes the third -- but after that I just wrote them off, even if they were really interested. I find by setting concrete -- if even arbitrary -- rules helped me. I feel more in control and detached.

    I must have done something right, I'm with a great girl, we just passed our 1 year anniversary. She's now living in Italy with her family, and we travel back and forth and stay with each other 3 months at a time. She just flew back home yesterday. The drive to Boston was painful, we always cry when we say goodbye. It's pathetic. :o
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2008
  21. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    is this officially a thread backfire yet?
     
  22. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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  23. vipergts24

    vipergts24 New Member

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    He's probably calling to tell you he had an STD and you should get checked out. Too bad you've been a huge bitch about it though.
     
  24. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    :bowrofl: Holy shit, I never thought about that. This guy could be trying to save the TS some serious trouble. Unlikely, but possible.
     
  25. verbal

    verbal Active Member

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    It's funny how a lot of thread starters disappear after hearing the opposite of what they wanted to hear.
     
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