Posting this is my way to get some outside opinions from a nuetral third party. I will start by saying I broke up with my girlfriend of four years nearly three months ago. I think this will get asked I am 21 and she is 20. We seperated because I am moving from Michigan to Washington in a few months for a great job that will give me a good future. This break up is hard because there was no anger or hate to kill or ignore the love that I still have for her. She has been a great source of strength for me and has helped me more than anyone. I know its cliche but she was my best friend. I was a bad boyfriend. I did not appricate all that was done for me and I wasn't there for her. A few years ago she made me see I had significant problems and made me get treatment. From that I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. I don't say this not as an excuse for what I did but a clearification of how I was unstable. That help was the first step in getting my life in order. I started going to school and doing something I really enjoy. The motivation that was given to me has made me be a better student than I ever was in high school. Now all the hard work I have put in is starting to shape the future I had wanted except that I don't have her anymore. Now I see how bad I was. I am that guy who thought that my medication was working so great that I did not need it anymore. This was making my moods very irrational but I just didn't see it till after I overreacted and broke up with her before we could talk it out. After I broke up with her I fell apart and had no idea what to do. I was drinking a lot and taking anything I could find to not feel pain or lonelyness. I was lucky to see that was not the way to handle my problems and within a week I was taking control of my life. I started to feel that breaking up with her was the best thing I had ever done for my life. It forced me to see all my flaws, weaknesses, insecurities and do something about it. Now I am taking steps to get rid of what I don't like about myself and I am happy now. It is very sad it took me losing my love to see this. But since I started making these changes I have been trying to get her back. It has been an idea we have be talking about for a few weeks now. This is where all my guilt kicks in. She is not doing well since we broke up. And I put her in the situtation that she is in. She tells me she cries every day and is very unhappy. She is in a growing debt from her friend who she is living with. I am afraid that I have ruined her chance at the life she wanted to have and the woman she wanted to be because I over reacted. Knowing I am so much happier and she is in a worse place hurts me so much. I still love her as much as I ever have and she tells me she loves me back but I have hurt her too much. I want her to move with me so bad. I know I can handle it alone and I will be happy and sucessful without her, but when I am around her I feel complete. I know I can help her and I know that we love each other. I just want a second chance at the life we had been thinking about having together. But this time with me being a much better person than who I was. I also want to add I know I am lucky that is is the worst of my problems. So I do not want to come across as if I am whining. This is a little bit of a long post so I'll try to make a quick summary for the lazy helpers out there. Broke up with my love mostly because I am moving too far away. She helped me grow up into a more confident and happy man. I feel very guilty for this because she has been falling apart and I have been doing great. I want a second chance to make everything right. Thanks for reading my thread.