SRS Grandmothers passing

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Coranai, Jun 12, 2008.

  1. Coranai

    Coranai Ninja Kitty

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    :sadwavey: My maternal Grandma passed away Tuesday night at the hospital. She was 94 and lived through so much, it was nice to see her go peacefully. I held her hand for her last breath and kept holding for about an hour more after.

    I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with her passing, but not because of the grief, but out of anger & conflict from my mother. I know the right & proper thing to do is got to the wake on Friday night, the catholic mass on Saturday morning & the burial on Monday. But my heart can't take another wake & ceremony. I said my good byes at the hospital when i kissed her cheek & told her I loved her, but my mother does not believe it appropriate to miss the wake.

    I know this will sound selfish, but i had made plans months in advance to visit friends this weekend in Ohio. I really want & feel I need to get away (I would of course still be home for the funeral on Monday). My mother feels I should cancel all the plans to be with family at the wake. But she does not hold herself to the same standard as she will be attending a wedding on Saturday instead of going to the mass.

    I'm just a mess & confused. I want to be the obidient daughter, but I'm just not sure what to do.
     
  2. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    Well I was all set to say be with your family. BUt then i saw th at your mother isn't holding herself to the same standard....

    That's a tough one, but I'd have to say be there for your family when they will need you the most
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    First you are completely in your right to go with your friends,but its not the right thing to do, i also want to say that its not selfish because you need to get out of it all, and also despite your mom not being consequent and going to a wedding while she'd also should attend the mass, i still say you should goto the mass,not because of any of the above reasons but you should do it in order to keep the peace in the family, i know you want to go and be with your friends. But i can assure you it will spark great anger and a garanteed fight between you and your mom, you are already angry at her, and already feeling bad about wanting to go out with your friends.

    For the sake of your emotions, i would exuse yourself to your friends and say that you can't come because you need to attend to your deceased grandmothers mass on sunday and to her funeral on monday.

    If i were you id try to reschedule your visit to your friends. Your grandmothers death was a unevitability event that was out of your hands. I see it like this you can still have more chances to visit your friends, but repairing family bonds as the result of the fighting with your mom and other family members looking down on you and family bonds dissapating as a result of not attending the mass is not going to affect you well. Its a difficult situation but i would attend to the mass in honour of your grandmother and for the sake of peace in your family. Remember this is going to affect your moms personal view on you. And you'll have to deal with her for several more years most likely.
     
  4. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

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    Do what you want, however you already know what will happen if you do that though. So it depends if you want to go visit friends and have your mother angry at you for a good while, or stay home and attend the mass etc even if your mother is being a bit of a hypocrit about the whole thing.

    Tough choice really, good luck.
     
  5. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    My paternal grandmother is on her death bed at the moment, probably going to pass away this weekend.

    I just cancelled a weekend away with my soon to be ex girlfriend (who I am looking to break up with for various reasons) to be with her.

    I feel really bad as I feel like I'm using my grandmother to avoid a girl I simply don't feel strongly about.
     

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