My maternal Grandma passed away Tuesday night at the hospital. She was 94 and lived through so much, it was nice to see her go peacefully. I held her hand for her last breath and kept holding for about an hour more after. I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with her passing, but not because of the grief, but out of anger & conflict from my mother. I know the right & proper thing to do is got to the wake on Friday night, the catholic mass on Saturday morning & the burial on Monday. But my heart can't take another wake & ceremony. I said my good byes at the hospital when i kissed her cheek & told her I loved her, but my mother does not believe it appropriate to miss the wake. I know this will sound selfish, but i had made plans months in advance to visit friends this weekend in Ohio. I really want & feel I need to get away (I would of course still be home for the funeral on Monday). My mother feels I should cancel all the plans to be with family at the wake. But she does not hold herself to the same standard as she will be attending a wedding on Saturday instead of going to the mass. I'm just a mess & confused. I want to be the obidient daughter, but I'm just not sure what to do.