I got a call from my cousin on Sunday evening telling me to book it to the hospital because my Grandma had just arrived in the E.R. I got there and learned she had just died of a massive heart attack. She was 81, no previous heart conditions that we knew of, thin and seemingly healthy other than asthma. We were very close, she took care of me daily as a kid and I always helped her and took her shopping when she needed it. We shared a lot in common. The reason I'm so upset is because with school and work I haven't been a great grandson lately. She passed away on Sunday and the last time I had seen her before that was 9 days prior -- we watched the presidential debates at my house and I took her home. Thank God I told her I loved her when I did. I'd give everything I own to have 10 more minutes with her and tell her thank you for taking such great care of me as a child and apologize for not being there as often as I should have lately, but I never got a chance to and I have a feeling she may have died thinking that I didn't care about her. I feel like I'm going nuts. I even called her still-active cell phone and left her a voicemail apologizing and telling her I love her and miss her. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. Any suggestions?