Gotta break up with a girl

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sirius, Mar 23, 2008.

  1. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    Hiya Vag :)

    I've come to the conclusion that I've got to get out of my relationship. I just don't think I'm happy. I'm not sure when it happened, but I stopped enjoying myself a while ago. I tried to wait it out to see if it was outside things stressing me out, but I think the relationship is the source of the stress. We've been dating for about 5 months. I've never dumped someone before, and i'm worried it's going to hurt her. :wtc:

    She's really a great girl, I just can't do the whole dating thing right now. Any tips on what to tell her so she takes it as well as she can, while still making sure I'm not too nice and make her think I just need space.

    There are all sorts of things making me feel guilty, but my friends all agree I should end it. I think it's what i should do, what I want to do, and what I need to do. It's still hard though.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Just tell her that.

    You answered your own question.
     
  3. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    That feels like a cop out. I think i'm over thinking this whole thing. She really doesn't deserve to be hurt, so I feel like shit.

    I almost can't stand to tell her I'm just not happy, but i really want to just be honest and straight forward.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm going to quote a little bit from a thread similar to yours on the front page:
    You need to end this as soon as possible. You will hurt her more by being a wuss and holding it off out of fear you will be the "bad guy." You just have to deal with it and do what makes you ultimately happy in the end.

    No one said it was going to be easy, breaking up with someone never is unless it's completely mutual (hard to come by). My honest advice would be to be truthful to her as to why you want to breakup. You can't give her false hopes that you could be something in the future, or that you two will be best friends right away because it isn't possible.

    Break up with her and then seperate yourself from her so she can get over you and you can also move on.
     
  5. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:
    I have really recently made my decision about ending it. I think i'm acting fairly quickly. I'm really trying to be as respectable as possible. I just feel horrible, but I know i'll feel good after I've done it.

    Words of encouragement ftw. Maybe I should have searched threads more for answers already posted. Sorrrrrry.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No worries. I mean yeah, if you read the sticky's and usually the first page you can find a lot, but generally most people like to think of their situation as unique, so I get it.

    Anywho, though you might think your reaction is sudden the fact of the matter is you are feeling it fast and the problems you deem important enough in your mind to end things over will only stay on the surface from now on.

    You've only been dating 5 months, that's the good news. She could possibly be upset but she'd be more upset if you dragged it out to 8 months and still had the same problems (remind yourself of that). You just need to be honest with her enough to say you are sorry, she's a great girl but you just don't feel the same any longer and think she deserves someone for her who is ready for a more serious relationship. Do it soon.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    how is being honest about how you feel a cop out?
     
  8. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    I feel like she will think it's a cop out.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Stop worrying about what she thinks. If it's the truth it's what matters. Again, do what you have to do so that you come out happy. It's fine to feel bad because she's a good girl, but as long as you don't say "This is all your fault!" "I'm not attracted to you!" Or something rude than you will be doing her a favor by setting her free to find other men out there who do connect more with her.
     
  10. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    I just did it... She was not happy.
    She didn't seem to take it well at all. She said nothing at all, I just tried to explain. Then she said "I don't want to talk to you"

    I apologized profusely and then she just got up and walked out of her room. I followed her, and she just opened the door for me to leave.

    I told her I was so sorry, then she slammed the door.

    :wtc:
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    it's hard and it sucks and that's really a pretty good/expected outcome.

    don't feel too bad. if you worry too much about keeping her happy, you'll do it at the expense of yourself and your own happiness. that's a bad situation to be in.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5: I know you feel terrible but trust me man, it's for the best. The best part is she didn't cry to try and work it out or "lets still be friends!" She's taking it more maturely than you can imagine and for that you should be greatful. Do as she wishes. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT call her or text her apologizing. She knows already that you are sorry, let her now get over you in her own terms, ok?

    Just be glad it's over man.
     
  13. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    she just texted me saying my stuff was on my deck. Just a little box of stuff I had in her room. Lighter, change, dvd, the bear I got her for valentines day :wtc:
    Understandable, but still stings a bit.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh whatever, why are you upset? This is what you wanted and she's acting the way most men would DREAM she would act.

    Or are you upset because you hoped she'd hang onto your leg crying for you as you walked out the door?

    Go get your stuff and move on. Happily.
     
  15. Sirius

    Sirius OT Supporter

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    just bummed that she's hurt :hs:
     
  16. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Just tell her it doesnt feel right/isnt working, you are allowed to do that.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She'll get over it. Honestly, I have a theory she's taking it the way she is because even though she's upset she's not totally wrecked. If she wanted to fight for the relationship she would, so maybe find solice in the idea that she might have had doubt as well. Either way, you did the right thing.
     
  18. dumbaznboy

    dumbaznboy New Member

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    how do you fight for something the other doest want to be a part of?

    (I thought about this when my gf broke up with me, but I decided if she didnt want to stay in a relationship - best to respect her wishes and move on)
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Don't ask me man, when I've been dumped I never fought for it; just took it and moved on. But a hell of a lot of people go nuts and beg and please to stay together or whatever.
     
  20. dumbaznboy

    dumbaznboy New Member

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    haha. yea.

    I wasnt asking in reference to me. But u brought it up, so i figured i'd ask. :dunno:
     
  21. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    Of course she's hurt, but its better she's hurt now than you dragging the relationship on another month, two months, 6 months etc and her becoming even more attached. You did the right thing :bigthumb:
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    at least you care :)
     
  23. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    If anything you should feel guilty about living a lie or stringing her along. You need to break it off if you are not happy and see no future.. She will obviously be hurt; that's not your problem, she'll live.....
     

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