Got sick with tumors and went crazy

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by toroweedeater1, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    Been a long time since i posted on this forum but been lurking and seeing what ya'll are up to. Well the breakdown is in sept i lost part of my eyesight and went to the doctor. They said my eyes were healthy and it had to be my brain. They biopsied my brain in Oct and said that it was a tumor and that i had 2-10 years to live. the next day they said it was inflation and out me on 12mg of dexamethasone (steroid). They made me go crazy and have anxiety like crazy. This is some serious medication. Well we were in the relationship for 2 1/2 months at the time and she had been taking care of me when i couldn't stand and when i had brain fluid leaking out of my back for a fucked up spinal tap.

    Well since Oct there have been fights about things that later i known i had blown things out of proportion. She has been patient and said it was the meds but it still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt some of the things i say or do. Well i have been dosing down on the steroid but there are still side effects. Needless to say i grabbed all my shit, flipped out her going out of town to see some friends and mom (maybe i don't like but i have no right to prevent her from seeing them), and pretty much cut her out a week ago.

    She came over last night and we talked and we told each other how we felt and what was wrong with our relationship. I want to fix it but she doesn't know if she wants the relationship anymore. I have 2 months till i am completely off the steroid then i go to the neurosurgeon to see about my tumor (they finally figured it out) that may not be operable and chemo and radiation might be my only option. I am seeing a counselor now but only when things blew up instead of realizing before and she says that she can't trust me to put all her heart into the relationship just to get hurt again. My question im getting at is too much pain that has been caused to just move on with? Is time the only friend and way to fix myself and the relationship (cause i don't really know how much time i really have but im stubborn enough to live with this for the next 20 years)? Any advice guys would be awesome. Thanks vag crew :fawk::bigthumb:





    Cliffs: have a tumor, got on a steroid, went crazy, relationship in shambles.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    honestly? Let it go until you get completely healed up and off the meds, then try to get things patched up.

    No point in stressing yourself over 2 things when you really should be focusing on just one.
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I'm with MattThom... Although having someone might be a nice beacon of light in your life, you really should just focus on your health man. I wish you well and hope that they figure it out that you'll be fine once they deal with the tumor :bigthumb:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I agree with MattThom. It's bad enough what you are going through, but your girlfriend is going through a lot just being your girlfriend right now. She might also be terrified. I mean lets be realistic here, she has seen you at your worst and stuck with you, but what if the situation worsened? She might be panicking that she's just not sure if she wants to commit to you.

    To be honest, I think it is in your best interest to keep on good terms with her, but take a break from the relationship. From the sounds of it she will also think this is a good idea. You have a lot of things to get through and maybe once you are better from that surgery and chemo you can try to patch things up with her. If by then she has moved on then you will know it just was not meant to be and you can start your life in a new direction.
     
  5. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    yeah thanks guys it even harder cause i am in the military and the closest family to me is about 2200 miles away....but getting myself squared away mentally is top priority at the moment.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Also, just for more perspective about what she might be going through. I've mentioned this before so I'm sorry to those that have read it but he might not have. I dated a guy 2 or so years ago who was a wonderful person, he thought the world of me and would do anything for me. However, before I met him he had been in a terrible accident and was missing part of his brain.

    This made him a little bit slower in speech and thought and he told me numerous times throughout us dating that doctors said he would surely have Alzhemier's by at least age 40. This scared me shitless. It scared me so much that I was never able to really give into my feelings and we ended up breaking up. So yeah, my point being she is probably terrified of what could happen to you, which might not be the most selfless thing...but when you are young you worry about these things when dealing with long term commitment and your heart is on your sleeve.

    So again, deal with your stuff first and good luck :bigthumb:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You have a tumor and they are keeping you in service? WTF?
     
  8. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    yeah they can't kick me out till they found out what was wrong with me and fix me which is a good thing sort of because i was misdiagnosed in 2005 when i was @ texas tech for 2 weeks cause they think i have been living with this tumor since then. I have deployed overseas in between that time and the military is thinking that was a bad thing and im not deployable now but still working every day. the bill for the hospital was 137K in 2005 and 84k and rising for 2007-08. they think this past episode is due to the tumor growing.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That is so ridiculous...unless they paying for the hospital stays?
     
  10. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    yeah so far i have not paid one cent in either 2005 or 2007-08 but tricare (military HMO) will not pay the full bills e.g. doctor says their services cost $500 and tricare will only pay $175. So doctors sometimes don't like tricare cause they ain't going to get paid. I have ran into that a couple times where a doctor wont see me cause he wont get paid what he thinks he is worth. They will straight up deny my case.
     
  11. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    Yes there have been a couple nights where there has been a lot of emotion about "how long" there might only be. Right now we (the doc on base and myself) are trying to get tricare to pay for me to go down to M.D. Anderson cause there is a reason you are a doc in Lubbock, TX or Albuquerque, NM. We want to see the best and maybe they can give me better news.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, I'm hoping you will find a better doctor who is possibly more qualified and not just worried about how much he is getting from the government for evaluating you.
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    steroids? id hit the gym
     
  14. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    yeah and now i look like this fruit. me FTL :eek4:[​IMG]
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    fuck u man thats my cousin
     
  16. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    what up cuz :rofl:

















    i wish somewhere it said get huge like arnold :squint:

    Dexamethasone may cause side effects. Tell your doctor if any of these symptoms are severe or do not go away:
    • upset stomach
    • stomach irritation
    • vomiting
    • headache
    • dizziness
    • insomnia
    • restlessness
    • depression
    • anxiety
    • acne
    • increased hair growth
    • easy bruising
    • irregular or absent menstrual periods
    If you experience any of the following symptoms, call your doctor immediately:
    • skin rash
    • swollen face, lower legs, or ankles
    • vision problems
    • cold or infection that lasts a long time
    • muscle weakness
    • black or tarry stool
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: @ idiots who think all steroids are for bulking up.
     
  18. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    lol u put it on tv or the internet and everyone becomes an expert....the internet/tv doesn't lie
     
  19. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    aww beer i think your sarcasm detector is broken :bowdown:
     
  20. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    If you go to the VA it should cover it 100% although I do understand the VA might not have everything to treat you. Tricare is pretty good at least I thought especially if you combine it with Bluecross or something.
     
  21. UrbanKnight

    UrbanKnight Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

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    Make up or break up, do not WASTE one minute of what you got being miserable, as you don't know how much time you have left.. What you really need is some good friends and family. Can she be one of those friends, in the end, that will probably the most comforting thing to all of you.

    On your side, live life, you don't know how much more of it there will be.

    I will leave out both my personal and professional opinion on chemo/Rad etc unless you want them


    Good luck to you sir,
    UK
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Paint him green and he'd be a turtle. He's already got the neck for it
     
  23. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    She sounds like a great girl. She was only 2 1/2 months into the relationship with you and yet she stuck through all your shit from the steroids. A lot of other girls would have just bailed early. I think the best thing you can do is just maintain a healthy friendship and possibly spare her from possibly hurt from these side-affects by not being in a relationship. Then after you're mentally sound again, see where the relationship goes. Good luck.
     
  24. toroweedeater1

    toroweedeater1 New Member

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    /thread thanks iwishyouwrebeer and abomb and everyone else....just needed some head straightening out cause you know im not all there anyways :wiggle: thaks again vag crew :fawk::bigthumb:
     

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