got her number... teetering on the friendzone line

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jackjohnson, Jul 24, 2007.

  1. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    CLIFFS:Met girl, hit it off, didn't get her number; got her number on 2nd encounter but I think I'm really close to the friendzone.

    full:

    Ok so a couple of weeks ago I met some girl at the gym. My type physically and we hit it off real well. I felt comfortable/confident and had her laughing a lot, and even got a little physical (shoulder punch, pat on the back). I was basically a fucking shoe in for her number, until... well she said bye and I froze and she left :doh:

    So anyway after about two weeks of kicking myself and going to the gym more often than I do ( :o ), I finally run into her again tonight. we hang out together again and the chemistry wasn't as good as last time; still there but not as strong. Some other guy approached her and she was super friendly to him as well, indicating that she could just be being really nice to me. But for man purposes i'm not going to psyche myself out over that. so we're both leaving and I pretty much blurt out "gimme your number" (NOT as I planned); she get's nervous and goes "2...". :rofl: Then I was like 2? thats it? And then she gives me the whole thing. Again, I couldn't tell if it was good nervous, or bad nervous. But for my sake I'll say it was good ;)

    So where do I go from here? Obviously call her, and make it very very clear that it's going to be a date and I am going to be trying to get into her pants at some point without that wording. I really was planning on making that clear when I got her number but I fucked up.

    yeah I should have gotten it the first time

    and yeah at this point it seems like it could easily fall into the friend thing if i'm not careful.
     
  2. Rich

    Rich New Member

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    If you're close to the friend zone, just make your intentions known.
     
  3. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    NO, unless by "make your intentions known" you mean make a move physically


    get her out of the house, increase your physical contact, be sexual (not horny), make a move - please don't make it on her porch steps at the end of teh date PLEEEEASE.

    The only time you're in the "friendzone' with a girl (friendzone is a fabricated term that really means chode zone - she thinks you're a chump but appreciates your validation) is when you allow her to clearly ascertain that she is cooler than you are and you are needy for her.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2007
  4. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    well when I call her I have to make it 100% clear that it's a date and that i'm interested- i think that'll be pretty damn hard for me to do

    and well if we do end up going out, everything will be told physically :naughty:

    I just need to psyche myself up for it and not wuss out like i've been doing so far
     
  5. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    why?
     
  6. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    i really don't want to do the whole "hey let's hang out" and have her be in the hanging out with a friend mindset, and me being all :naughty:

    basically my time/$ will not be wasted. if I know she's not interested over the phone, then I walk and find the next best thing. all I've ever done is fall into the friend zone... I'm pretty determined from here on out
     
  7. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    the friend mindset? bro, look. The friends ladder/real ladder distinction is a flawed model. Get it out of your fucking head. IMMEDIATELY. It's not a friends ladder. It's a CHODE ladder. A woman will quickly and easily categorize you as someone she woudl potentially fuck, or someone who is a lame loser and who she wouldn't fuck. Not as a friend. But as someone who is lame. You might be able to become her "friend" (aka orbiter aka emotional tampon aka walking piece of validation), but that is not the friend you think you're becoming.

    Telling her verbally whether it's a date or not isn't going to flip some magical switch in her mind. Either you're a cool guy who she would potentially have sex with, given you flilp the right switches at the right times and make her feel comfortble, or you're a chode who she would NOT potentially have sex with. Telling her it's a date, or tleling her it's not a date, has nothing to do with it dude.

    That said, if you lack the ABILITY (and it is an easily gleanable ability, just work at it) to identify whether she thinks you're a chode monster or a cool guy, then yes, perhaps verbally, explicitly telling her it's a date, is an effective strategy in order to find out FOR YOURSELF whether she thinks you're lame or cool. But it is only useful in that manner - it will actually HURT your results in general, but it will be useful just so that you can personally take another data point and figure out whether a girl thinks you're cool or not
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    And "chode zone" isn't a fabricated term?
     
  9. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Nah, I read it once... in a book. It's science MattThom :cool:
     
  10. YARGH!

    YARGH! New Member

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    Good post. :bigthumb: Body language and actions speak louder than words. Saying its a date doesnt change anything.
     
  11. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    update: ok well I decided to call her up monday when I was going into the gym. no answer, didn't leave a vmail; but she called me back while I was in the gym. exchanged a few texts (I sent a retarded one). I decided just to slow play it. seemed like the vibe between us was kind of wearing thin.

    went in tonight, and she texted asking if I was coming in, told her I was already there. she came in, said hi and I kind of brushed her off by talking to my buddy. we talked for a bit and I made it clear that I had to go soon. first half of conversation lacked vibe; and she kept trying to entertain me and make me laugh. finally got her curious enough to ask me questions (what do i do, how old, etc). she was talking about some other girls body blah blah and I told her that the only reason why I talked to her was because of her butt. told her I had to take off now and she was bummed; it seemed like she didn't let me go until I asked her what she was doing and that we should do something :) she happily told me to call her
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    ABE - always be escalating

    not getting her number on the first encounter was a major blunder

    hesitation = masturbation

    anyways you've got the digits, make the date plan and carry on like normal

    if she flakes, learn what you can from it and move on
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    ok, just read the update

    you need to make strong moves.

    "let's do something" is vague, weak, and passive

    As the man, it is your duty to MAKE THE PLAN, then carry it out.

    All this texting and chit chatting is getting you nowhere. And the longer you spin your wheels, the greater the chance of ending up in the friendszone.

    Plan the date. Invite her on the date. Just do it.

    Quit looking for reassurance from her. If she rejects you or your date idea, so be it.

    Courage is feeling fear and anxiety, but still taking the correct course of action.
     
  14. you're already friendzoned
     
  15. kackel champion

    kackel champion faces always are changing lies and disguise for th

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    stifle n00b

    to the threadstarter, carry yourself with confidence regardless of the verbal vomit that comes out of your mouth. you don't have to make it a point to tell her it's a date, because your behaviour and the activity you do when you two do something next should all indicate that you have intention of taking this relationship to a romantic level.
     
  16. Ferrari430

    Ferrari430 New Member

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    LOL this cracked me up..And uh yea i was/am sorta in the same position and i've noticed that the longer you wait, the less likely you are to maintain her interest.
     
  17. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    yeah problem is shes going to a concert saturday night, and I have a friends bbq sunday night. thinking about taking her to an art museum (shes an art major). If i put that off until next weekend then that'll mean one more whole week in the gym becoming best friends.

    maybe we'll do something casual monday/tue night
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    art museum sounds like a great idea
     
  19. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    update: everything's all good now.

    she invited me out last saturday for some drinks with some of her friends. got a little frisky (massaging) but for the most part it was pg-13.

    I stopped the excessive text's, and I think like every call has been no longer than a minute long.

    I took her out last night to a concert. Had "ABE" in the back of my head the whole night. Biggest thing I learned was how to take the initiative. Usually I'm passive until I see some kind of definite sign that she's interested. Wasn't finding anything the first half of the concert so I decided to grow some balls, and get more physical (arm around her--> hold hands--->etc) and she reciprocated. And when I got home she texted me telling me she "really had a good time with you tonight- thanks"; which was the nail in the coffin cause she's usually been very vague with the txt's, and usually never sends them first. no sex yet but it should be happening within a week.

    doesn't sound like anything spectacular but it's really the first time I've picked up a chick without being super drunk and/or her being sub par.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2007
  20. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    You kissed her right?
     
  21. kit99bar

    kit99bar USPA Class 2, weak, old man!

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    And that my friends is how you get out of the friend fucking zone or whatever you want to call it. :bowdown:

     
  22. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    oh yeah I did kiss her. I really waited a while to kiss her, and when I did I made it real short- no big make out session. If this was going to be a hook up thing I wouldn't have cared. But it seems like it could go into a relationship thing quickly so I have to make sure it's what I want. Even though I'm into her I feel I have to really get to know her first before I fully commit.
     
  23. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    yeah I pretty much just went for broke. the first time we hung out we were both buzzed as shit, and what went down was easily friend zone material. during the week she shot me down. and last night she could've easily just been using me for the concert tix (I didn't pay for them, they were free + vip). so I was like fuck it I'm not going out like that.
     
  24. nerd9

    nerd9 OT Supporter

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    attaboy, way to grow a pair :bigthumb:
     

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