SRS got a new GF, but there may be some issues.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Avenger97, Nov 27, 2009.

  1. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    hey all -
    just kinda wanted to vent , and maybe see if anyone has any advice on this one. I'm sure some people remember my long ago ( at least it feels that way) ex-gf who pretty much financially owned me and just about destroyed my life , well thankfully that is finally over and I'm on a good path now.

    over the past couple months i have been seeing a girl ,and we just get along great , never argue or anything and just seems like a great fit into my life. shes 24 and I'm 30, she has 2 kids but overall she seems way more mature than any other girl I've been with , and only wants me, for me, and not my money or cars or any other materiel object.

    now for the sticky part.. she is married.. however the "relationship" if you can call it that is pretty much dead. (i gather this not just from what she tells me , but when i do hear the 2 of them talk to each other , its just pure hate). i know its wrong to get with a married woman , and it was not something i was out there looking to do , but it happened. She has assured me all along that they do not sleep together or do anything else as a married couple , and she is just biding her time to end it, untill she completes school. That timeframe was recenly accelerated when he failed to pay the rent on their apartment (and from what i gather hid it from her) and they ended up being evicted. she then decided to get her own place with the kids , and go ahead with the divorce procedings.

    the only problem that has really come up between us , was her making a small mistake , and leaving her old cell phone out in the open , after she moved out ( she is staying in a hotel with the kids right now untill they can get a place) . He found it , and it had a couple days worth of texts on it that might incriminate her , as to the relationship that we've had over the past few months. it also contains my number and home address on it . she was worried that i'd be mad at her , but im not , and realize things happen. however i am concered as to what this might do to harm her chances of retaining custody of the kids . and any potential retailiation that this guy may try to bring to me . he has a history of getting violent with her , abusive a few times, which caused him to lose his police job.

    on my end of it , i have decided to be as supportive as i can of her choices and see where our relationship goes from there. i know she isnt going back to him at all, i just am concerned that our relationship would have an adverse effect on her keeping the kids ( tho i cant really see her losing them , as the dude is living in a car right now lol)

    so yea.. as of right now , we still have an amazing relationship , and try to see each other as much as possible. and have plans really try to move forward with our relationship

    so.. what do yall think ? can we make it thru this , and survive what might be a messy divorce , or will this whole thing just crumble around me ??
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Believe me, if she ever does leave him for you the weight of realization will hit you like a shovel in the face and you'll kick yourself for wasting your time on this girl.
     
  3. B. Keaton

    B. Keaton Guest

    that depends a lot on how you feel about her, her KIDS, and where you see the relationship going. If you think her and her KIDS are worth it, then stick by her side through it.

    Good luck.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  5. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    hahha um no.. totally different chick.. i was done with her a long time ago.. it never evolved into anything more than just a causal thing.. which has since ended .

    and really i dont see her leaving him " for me" its more along the lines of , she was leaving anyway. and i just happened to come along at a certain time .. the 2 things are unrelated
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So let me get this straight....

    After putting yourself through a shitty 3 year relationship that fucked your life months after it was over.....You managed to date not 1, but 2 moronic young girls with 2 kids in abusive relationships that wont leave them for you?

    Yeah, you need to start examining why you are incapable of dating women without so much baggage.
     
  7. B. Keaton

    B. Keaton Guest

    I agree with the "beer" in that you need to find someone without so much luggage. Don't do that to yourself.
     
  8. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    ya know.. i know i posted this up on OT , and i know what OT is about.. but really i woudlnt say both girls are moronic (one yes.. but we never dated it was just a causal hook up kinda thing) . but to make sweeping generalizations about people is pretty drastic , without knowing either person.

    i dont see somone who sees they are in a bad situation , and trying to get out of it , to better their lives as moronic ? if you keep going back to it, then yes , but i dont see that in this latest girl.

    as for dating women without so much baggage.. ya know.. im pretty sure everyone out there has some level of baggage with them , either poor previous relationships, kids, to being just straight up crazy and anything in between.. i really think i'd be hard pressed to find a so called "normal" girl , in my age range around here.. i just dont see it...

    it hasnt always been a cake-walk ,but i do beleive that something worth doing , is worth putting the effort into,i definitly respect your opinion , but i dont agree with it.. and was just looking for some general advice , and not telling me that everyone i seem to get involved with is moronic.. Generally people make mistakes , and its how you respond to those mistakes is what makes you , who you are. if ya learn from it and move on , then good.. if not , well yes then you are a moron.. i dont see the latter bein the case in this latest girl ....
     
  9. B. Keaton

    B. Keaton Guest

    I used to share the same outlook. I was about your age when I met my wife, and I'll tell you I had my string of girls with kids and it was just too much to deal with and I eventually said "no". I dated these girls because they were convenient. Not to sound harsh but they didn't require all the effort and frankly I was tired of "looking".
     
  10. Avenger97

    Avenger97 New Member

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    well here is a post i can agree with .. let me say it now im not sure if this will turn into a long term thing , or if that's what im even looking for. your right.. its convenient , and its giving me what im looking for at the moment. we have fun , hang out , and enjoy each others company. and that's all im really lookin for.. anything beyond that i really have no idea about and i'll just wing it and see what happens.
     
  11. B. Keaton

    B. Keaton Guest

    I can sympathize with this. I dated a girl that had a 15 mo daughter and while I was extremely attracted to her and we had a great time together, I felt in the end it wasn't really fair to her, her daughter and myself if it wasn't going in the long term direction.

    I met my wife at 30, she was 26, no baggage whatsoever...they are out there, you just have to stop looking ;)
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    So you settle for trash because you think you can't find any better? Do you have low self-esteem and think that you don't deserve someone good? :hs:

    Of course it will be hard to find someone good, it's hard for everyone. That doesn't mean you should give up and get into these bad relationships. It may start out as just a casual thing but you seem to get sucked into these things and then you have trouble getting out. I think you would be better off staying away from these girls and maybe seeing a counselor to figure out what it is that drives you to be with these women :hsd:
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh: Which is why you shouldn't be dating her.

    The second she's no longer married you're going to be slapped with the realization that you are seriously dating a young girl with 2 kids. It wont be "fun" or "convenient" any longer.

    You don't just "wing it" or "wait and see what happens," in this kind of situation.
     

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