LGBT Gonna put it out there...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by 90Supra, Jul 26, 2004.

  1. 90Supra

    90Supra Guest

    Ok, so, I've been lurking this forum for a long time now, and I feel comfortable enough to go into my story to try to get some opinions from both sides...

    Basically, I think I consider myself bi. I don't think that it's for the same reasons as some of you, and it definately doesn't sound like I have the same feelings about it that most you do.

    As far as women go. I love women, I love everything about them. I can remember when I was young that I only had feelings for girls, I never felt anything for boys...

    Basically, in the last year I've had what I think is called a "relapse". What that means is that I suddenly remembered (for reasons I don't know) being molested by a man when I was very young (more than once). This has been tough and confusing for me.

    I also don't think that my bi-sexuality is "natural" per-se. I have read and listened to what alot of gay, bi men and women talk about, and most of those feelings I know I could only have with a women.

    I did not just suddenly turn bi either, I can remember finding naked men attractive when I was a teenager and being curious.

    The thing is, I really don't find men attractive. Yes, naked bodies are different, but just guys walking around, no never. I don't find myself thinking of being with them, or cuddling or kissing, or living with them. I only see that for women. Like I said, the attraction seems to me to have come from something else.

    Do you think this is possible? I have no problems hiding my sexuality, and have came out a little bit but then I think that I'm wrong, and that it has to do with what happened to me.

    Of course, I do need to go to a phsycologist I think, but I wanted to get some opinions first...
     
  2. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

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    :hs: I really don't know what to tell you. I don't know what you mean by not natural, but I don't think it's not "normal." Normal is hard to pinpoint, as I don't know if sexuality is definite, or more of a variance.

    My posts are always useless on these subjects. So I'll end with: anything is possible. :)
     
  3. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    Sounds more like 'learned' feelings towards the male gender from what you experienced as a child.

    I would definitely recommend some sessions with a psychologist. Have you ever seen a psychologist for what you experienced when you were younger?
     
  4. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I would recommend that you seek counseling with a therapist to discuss the molestation. Your possible bisexuality may or may not be a result of the molestation, however, I'm skeptical that it would be related.

    Your post confuses me a little so please clarify. In reading your post, at one point, I get the feeling you don't find men attractive, and yet, in another part, you mention in a way, that you do.

    Do you find men sexually attractive and if not, what makes you think that you may be bisexual?
     
  5. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    you
    therapist

    NOW
     
  6. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    Yes - And note, just finding men attractive doesn't necessarily make you 'bisexual'. I think people are quick to label themselves...

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong..
     
  7. Killgunner

    Killgunner Guest

    You definitly sound like you should seek counsiling because from my experiences they are good people to talk to usually.
    You should really think long and hard before making any decision and its good that your open about it.
    It's a horrible thing that happened to you when you were younger but I don't think you should let it effect your life and how you live it.
     
  8. bioyuki

    bioyuki Ich habe Angst

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    I agree with most of the posts and think you should seek counseling re: your childhood molestation but I honestly don't know if that is the cause of your latent bisexuality.

    Have you ever explored a male/male relationship or had physical relationships with males?
     
  9. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    first off, it takes a lot of courage to post something like that about yourself and go searchin for help and advice, so i commend you. :)

    I am actually quite the opposite of you. I like men sexually and want relationships with them. With women, I find them pretty and cute but nothing sexual..unless they are neked :naughty: Still, I dont think about them the same way i do about a guy i guess. For that i consider myself gay and not bi.

    I think like Datacom said, don't be so quick to label yourself as anything yet. Labels are crap to me anyways. Like popeye says, "I yam who i yam" and that really is a philosophy a lot of people could take to heart! Whatever you decide to do, always remember you're first priority is what is best for you. If you decide a therapist is the best option, go for it and come out a better man! Either way, lots of luck!
     
  10. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I think if you find men sexually attractive makes you bisexual. Finding someone of the same sex attractive does not make you bisexual. But, if you find them sexually attractive (meaning that you could see yourself having sex with them), makes you bisexual. Finding men sexually attractive AND acting on that desire (by having sex with someone of the same sex) makes you a practicing bisexual.
     
  11. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I would strongly caution AGAINST haveing a male/male relationship until you figure out exactly how this molestation affected you.

    Before you randomly start traveling down these relationship paths, figure yourself out.

    Again, I strongly suggest talking with a counselor who can help you through this.
     
  12. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    I agree to an extant, but I'm no expert.. Here is how I see it..

    No matter if you simply find a man attractive, or sexually attractive, you are simply curious.. You are not bisexual until you've actually acted on that desire..and possibly even more then once.

    That's how I've always thought of bisexuality. I guess its all a matter of personal opinion, and since I'm straight I really have no standing or facts to back it up either way. Both sound pretty close to right to me. :dunno:
     
  13. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Interesting

    So, you believe that sexuality is something that is defined by the sex act?

    So, here's a question: A 26 year old guy that is a virgin, but loves women and does not find men sexually attractive at all. Is he straight or asexual? By your definition, he's not heterosexual until he has sex with a woman, right?

    Or is everyone straight until proven bi or gay?
     
  14. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Well, I'll let you become bisexual with me. :o

    :naughty: :x:
     
  15. 90Supra

    90Supra Guest

    Hi Guys,

    Thanks for the input. Do I find men attractive? Yes, but I think it would be defined more as a curiosity. I can't really see myself ever doing male/male.

    I do agree with the phsycoloigst part though, I just figured I would take a chance on here. The other people I told really had no idea, and mostly just became really uncomfortable which I can understand.

    This has really effected my life, and not for the better. I'm 24 years old and still a virgin. I suffer from clinical depression, social anxiety, and I have ADD. It's not like I couldn't get laid ever. I have had ALOT of girlfriends but I always end up pushing them away, and I have real troubles with intamacy. I basically feel like a 13 year old sexually trapped in a 24 year olds body. At first I thought this was because I must be gay, but I think it definately has to do with what happened to me.
     
  16. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Definitely directly related to the molestation, not because you may or may not be gay.

    It's understandable that you feel, sexually, like you're 13. It's completely accurate and ok that you feel this way.

    Work though it with a psychologist. You can do it. And I guarantee that your life will change and be 100% better. Of course, it will require a lot of hard work, but you can do it.

    Take it from me, with a lot of hard work, you can be the man that you were meant to be, before this person molested you.

    :hug:

    And we're here for you when you need to vent, or give us updates, or just need someone to lean on.

    Consider us your friends and/or family who love you unconditionally and will not be uncomfortable.
     
  17. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    ^^^^ excellent advice
     
  18. 90Supra

    90Supra Guest

    Thanks alot, it definately feels good to get some advice from some intelligent people.

    Like I said before, I had told some other people and all they did was :ugh:

    I really want you guys to know that I didn't come here for pity. After reading the posts made in this forum, I figured I would be able to get some intelligent opinions. I was right.

    I think the first step was finally realizing what had happened. Before that life was total confusion. I really had no idea what I wanted. I think my next step is where I'm at now which is to discuss my feelings, and the last would be a phsycologist.

    At the very least, I think I'm open minded anyways. It's just when it gets down to it here is what I think.

    When I picture myself in a situation with another man, it does not appeal to me at all. When I see a porn though, I'm often looking at the men as well as the women...or sometimes I watch all male and am still aroused. For some reason I like to watch, but I don't have the urge to participate...any thoughts on this?
     
  19. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    I didn't sense that you were coming here for pity, but were indeed, here seeking honest advice. I agree with others, it took a degree of trust and guts to come out and discuss the topic in the open, especially given past experiences when you've done so in the past. I applaud you for taking the chance and trying again.

    As far as watching porn, if seeing two guys having sex arouses you, then in my opinion, yes, you may be attracted to guys more than just an appreciation of beauty. That, however is my unprofessional opinion and honestly, I'd rather that we don't even discuss that here at this point in time. Don't worry about whether or not you're attracted to guys and if so, in what capacity.

    Work on yourself first - in dealing with the molestation, then worry about all the other stuff. Take what may seem like chaos right now, and bring order to it, one step at a time. :o
     
  20. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    You make a good point. I guess since I've never experienced any of this, I really was lacking a perspective from a different point of view.

    But according to your point of view, that would make me BI. I have no problem admitting that I find particular men attractive, even sexually, although it may be a select few.. but I don't know that I'd ever partake in the sex act itself with a man. I have no desire to so much as even touch or kiss another man.. Does nothing for me physically or sexually.. But having said all that, I don't consider myself BI at all, not in the least.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2004
  21. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    :naughty:
     
  22. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I appreciate your honesty and respect your opinion... :big grin:
     
  23. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Here....grab on to NOVA's





































    ...hand, and let him and show you the light. :bigthumb: :x: :bigthumb:
     
  24. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    :rofl:

    Now that we've completely hijacked this thread..
     
  25. DatacomGuy

    DatacomGuy is moving to Canada

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    :rofl::rofl: You're really working hard over there, aren't you. :big grin:
     

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