SRS Gone through a bad breakup, need advice on how to feel better...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Skeletor, Jan 9, 2006.

  1. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    Alright, my girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me around September of 05. Since then, I've been feeling depressed over it off and on. Once the semester ended in mid december it hit pretty hard.

    Background info:

    met girlfriend when we were really young, 13 and 14 I believe (i'm a year and a half older). Started dating seriously a year and a half or so later. We both seemed to have a much stronger connection than most people I knew in relationships at the time. We didn't just hang out to experiement sexually and kill time, I really love(d) her for the person she has been. Extremely sweet, very beautiful, and a very outgoing friend. She claims to have felt the same way for me when we were together. She says she just needed some space because she's been with me for so long and hasn't had a chance to experience her more adult life as a single person without having to be dependent on me.

    It's been 4 months and I'm fucking sick of feeling like shit over this girl. While nothing happened to ruin the relationship (cheating, etc), she refuses to give it another try or anything. I personally was in a great spot and was loving life, so to take away the one person I could talk to about all that :greddy: shit and go out and have a great time without having to drink a lot of beer, and my source of booty, obviously has quite a devestating effect. I chose to not see her at all (she wanted to be friends) and keep communication to a minimum, however tonight we met up for a few hours and talked... half the time we just shot the shit and acted like friends, but the other half we talked about what had happened between us. It's not going anywhere. She won't admit it, but her feelings obviously aren't very strong for me. Why else would she choose to be without me? Regardless, I want to feel better, but I only seem to be getting worse as time goes on.

    I cried tonight (albeit for only a minute) for the first time since I was 12 years old. I'm up at 3:45AM even though I've been in bed since 2. This whole time between september and now I've been trying to go on without thinking of her, but every day, seemingly every minute, she pops into my head.

    I'm 18 years old, and I have 3 good friends and some acquaintences. I'm having a serious jaw surgery on wednesday (it's currently monday) and I'm going to have to take this semester's courses online because I will be drugged up and in pain, not to mention having my jaw rubberbanded shut for a couple weeks and my face swollen to hell for a month. Given all of this, I really have no way to meet girls any time soon, and I guess I feel like that if I don't have a special girl in my life then I'm not living... so unless I find some way to deal with that, I'll be spending my nights the same as I am now: distressed and depressed over my ex-gf. Hopefully I'll be able to bury my face into books rather than ignore them and fail my classes.

    I'm sick of this bs bringing me down. Any support or advice is much appreciated.
     
  2. yoV6cam

    yoV6cam Big AL "Boss of The Bosses"

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    If you won't be able to meet girls cuz ur stuck at home, do what rest of OT does and meet them on myspace. Anyways, good luck, things will get better over time.
     
  3. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Hmm.. Odd how it ended, but I do understand her wanting to try others out. There is hope though if you want to hear about it.. If she continuously meets guys that are asses and not nice like you were to her, she could come back. Never get your hopes up though its dangerous.

    As for getting through it.. it's very tough when you wanna try out other girls but that same one still has your heart all the time. But sometimes you have to cut off comoplete communication (delete pics, screenames, emails, phone nums, etc.) if you want to completly get over it. If you're still friends, seeing her might hurt you to know what you don't have. But, only cut off communication if you believe there is no chance for it to ever work again.

    It's tough but life goes on. :hug:
     
  4. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    It does suck, but it was best that she was up-front about how she was feeling and ended things appropriately. If you're meant to be together, you'll be together in the future when you've both gone out and seen what there is to see of other people in the world.

    That, unfortunately, is not going to ease your pain now. You'll have to go through the grieving process just like everyone else. Your best bet is to keep busy so that you don't dwell on it. The pain will fade as time passes.
     
  5. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    It will take about a year and then you will start to feel progressively better. Severing an intimate relationship has consequences, mostly for the one who was abandoned.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Sometimes people 'grow apart' , and in this case it was her who repelled you from her life. Love has got to go 2 ways, no matter how many years lie between it, and its becoming a single feeling more and more every day. You cannot force someone to be with you, maby one day she'll come back to you. Until then replace your ex-gf with a new gf so that at least you move on with your life like she does, instead of wallowing in self pity and putting your life at a halt. This way you'll get at least new dating experience and won't have to be left alone.
     
  7. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    :coold: thanks for the responses. Some very short-term helpful things I'm going to try to do:


    -Crossword puzzles and reading funny stuff at night until I'm really tired. That way I won't be staying up all night dwelling on this junk.
    -Myspace browsing when I feel lonely... lots of pretty girls, nice to look at I guess.
    -Spend ridiculous amounts of time on OT as long as I'm doing my school work... even the horrible social atmosphere of off-topic is better than being alone with my thoughts I believe. And I also remembered how a couple years ago I used to give a lot of advice here in the Asylum and that always made me feel better about anything, so I think I'll take that up again too.

    I appreciate the help guys. :)
     
  8. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    -- listen to the most chill music you got for a while. Music really restored my mood when I was depressed around this time last year. None of the miserable, emo, or Misfit stuff for a little while till you're back on your feet. :wiggle:

    -- avoid anything negative. Stay away from the news on TV or the newspaper for a while. I liked this technique so much I continue it today... wtf we need to see other people's negative shit?

    -- if they have the spirit to help, rely on your 3 good friends to help pull you up. You could be surprised at how much they CAN help.

    Good luck to you.
     

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