going to the gym lowers my self confidence

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by metalfan111, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    I figured I'd get better, more serious responses here then F&N. I just joined a gym cuz I'm skinny and weak as fuck. I'm 6ft, 155lbs and I'm 17 years old. I know I'm just starting and it's gonna be hard, but there are always huge people where I lift and its so embarrassing lifting what I lift and them seeing what I lift. I joined a gym so I could get my confidence up, but its been so embarrassing that it has been lowering my confidence. It makes me feel like I'm weaker then I actually am. It's gotten to the point where I don't work out as long and hard as I can because it's just so embarrassing. I know there's not much I can do and I just have to ignore them, but its hard to. Anyone else feel this way?
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I used to feel that way, at first.

    Every big guy you see at the gym started off either fat or skinny at one point. They weren't born with those muscles. All of those guys you see felt the same way you feel at one point too.

    I promise, nobody there is concerned about how much you are lifting. Nobody. All of the big guys you see have been lifting for a long time, and have seen tons of skinny and fat people through their experiences. Not to mention, most of the guys lifting heavy weight are really concerned about THEIR own workout.

    I know that when I go to the gym, I keep my mind busy by keeping myself motivated and in the mood to lift. I listen to music the whole time, and pay attention to the lyrics. The last thing on my mind is what any other guy is doing. If anything, when I see a skinny or fat guy, I think "Thank God, at least that guy is trying."

    Keep lifting, LIFT HARD, and eat eat eat eat eat. It won't take too long to see results, ESPECIALLY with supplements, and once you start seeing the results, thats all you care about while youre lifting. Getting more results.

    I keep a journal of the weight I lift, and every week, I look back at last weeks, and I make sure to go up the appropriate amount of weight. I keep focused on lifting my new goal each week.

    The 2nd thing the guys are paying attention to are the hot women. Most guys who lift regularly respect a woman who lifts regularly too, so they'll be paying attention to them too. Usually, paying attention to them means trying not to look at them, but it's attention none the less.

    The more you lift, the better you are going to look. You can feel unconfident for one hour a day, 3 times a week, during your workouts. (Or however long your workouts are) ---- Make that sacrifice, and within a couple of months, you'll be able to walk around confident 24/7.

    It is hard at first, but after a while, it becomes a habit. There was a study done that proved habits take 21 days to create. Keep working out, and after roughly 21 days, it will feel just like a normal part of your life, and not like a chore, which is probably what it feels like now.

    Looking good is not easy. Tough it out, and it won't take long to be the guy you want to be.
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Hey man i was just liek you when i started,but i havent gained much weight. Im 6'2" and only weigh about 170 lbs. I started out say benching i think 40 llbs and then bar which is 45, a total of 85 lbs. I have been going less than 1 year and i grew alot in size, and now i bench 145 and up. Everyone has to start someonwhere and i have seen people just like you. They look around and cant lift alot of weight,but i have never seen people make fun of them. Also you have to remember, not all but alot of people who go to the gym arnt really strong,just big. Im not saying the majority,but i have seen people bigger than me who couldnt lift as much as me, so size really doesnt matter. Try wearing a ipod and just focusing on yourself and keep a journal!! i have kept a log and see how much i have progressed since then, it keeps me going back for me. Dont worry about anyone else,worry about urself. The worst thing you can do is stop going and never get more fit.!!
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    don't take this the wrong way...but do you think any of the other people at the gym care AT ALL what you look like? Aren't they focused on what they are doing for themselves at the gym?

    Keep in mind, all those impressive people at the gym had to start somewhere too.
     
  5. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    Don't worry about it dude. In a few years you're gonna be working out and see a skinny 17 year old kid at the gym and you'll remember what it's like to be in his position. I can't recall one time where someone made fun or commented on someone small working out. So don't think that people are secretly laughing at you. No one is in there looking down on you. I started at 140lbs and can remember being pumped once I was able to bench press the bar with one 45lb plate on each side(135lbs)!
     
  6. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Everyone starts out somewhere, because you aren't born perfectly sculpted. Don't worry about what other people think, because you are there for YOU not for them. That is the place that will give you what you want, so you shouldn't be embarrassed by the guys or girls there. You're there for you. So don't waste energy worrying about other people, use that energy to push! :big grin:
     
  7. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    By the way....

    According to Leil Lowndes' book "Undercover Sex Signals" ---- There was a study done to answer the question "What women want." Here is an excerpt from the book:

    "An anthropologist studied 37 soceities around the world to discover the answer. Wherever she went, she got the same four qualities a woman is on the lookout for in a man. From paris to pago, from new york to new guinea, they all want these qualities in their guys----and they'll be listening for them in everything you say at first."

    The four qualities are Resources, Status, Physical strength, and Emotionally caring.

    Get yourself the body you want, and you have 1/4th of the job done when it comes to attracting ANY woman.

    On top of that, men tend to follow men with muscles, as long as they aren't complete morons. Men with muscles are more intimidating than without. This creates a lot of status. All the time you are working on your physical strength, your status is also improving, you sly dog...
     
  8. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Which means don't be intimitated by other people status at the gym, because you'll be there too as long as you keep working out.

    Don't neglect super setting, your core strength, and your endurance. Run. Run. Run some more. Or bike, or row, or something.
     
  9. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Get over this feeling. Its natural to feel somewhat intimidated.... at first.
    But you're there for yourself, not for them. And honestly... if you're working out hard, you'll gain anyone's respect worth gaining.
     
  10. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I don't think he would want to run if he is trying to gain weight.

    I love running, but when I stopped running and tried to be as lazy as possible, I gained weight like crazy, with not too much fat.

    If your workouts are intense enough, that would be cardio enough while you are bulking.

    There is always a debate between doing cardio while bulking and not doing cardio while bulking. I tried both, and I found that no cardio worked best. Others might have other results.

    I'd definitely research it!

    edit: well, Timber is here now. What do you think Timber? If he is trying to get bigger, should he avoid cardio and just lift hard?
     
  11. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    I think if he is trying to add weight, a little cardio if fine. Maybe 2-3 15 sessions max though.

    Definitely limit it though...
     
  12. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    everyone in this thread already covered what i wanted to say :o
     
  13. krott5333

    krott5333 Guest

    you go to the gym to build confidence when you're not at the gym!

    who gives a shit what the people at the gym think.. you gotta start somewhere.
     
  14. PostingWorld

    PostingWorld Da Man with da plan

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    I'm 16 years old. I started lifting when I was 14 (almost 15). My first bench was 135. Ive been lifting for over two years now and I can say I have drasticly changed in my lifting abilitys. it takes time. its not going to happen over night. One thing you can do, is take a supplement such as Creatine. It makes you bigger and helps your lifting. Heres a break down of my lifting and how it increased.

    First Time Lifting Max:
    Bench: 135
    Incline: 125
    Powerclean: 135
    Squat: 205

    Maxes Now (September 10th)
    Bench: 285
    Incline: 275
    Powerclean: 225
    Squat: 465

    Keep lifting man, and things will turn out better for you. Take note I'm only 16, younger than you, all you have to do is work hard and it will show for you man
     
  15. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Oh yeah, one more thing! Most guys don't reach the peak of muscle production until their early 20s. So you'll need to work pretty hard, and it won't come easy for a little while, but it will still be worth it.
     
  16. metalfan111

    metalfan111 Guest

    Thanks for all the advice so far. I am trying to gain weight, if you want to see my routine, here is it:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2912465

    Everyone says eat eat eat to gain weight. I try eating as much as I can, but I live with 5 other people, my mom doesn't work and my dad has a low paying job so its hard to just get enough food for 3 meals a day. I have my own job and I have to pay for my car insurance $230 a month (Dont ask why its so high), $35 a month for the gym. On top of school and homework, I don't have a lot of time to work so I can barely pay for what I get. I can't afford any supplements and I can't afford to buy tons of food at the grocery store. That is one of the main reason's why I'm so skinny.
     
  17. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Correct me if I am wrong but isnt chicken, peanutbutter, beans and rice all good stuff to eat and really cheap?
     
  18. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    :mamoru: We know why your insurance is so high!

    Anyways, just buy cheap food, rice is great for carbs and peanut butter has good amounts of protein. Do what you can but in general quantity > quality ( as long as you're not doing like fat as "quantity" but lots of peanut butter or what not will be as good as protein ) Also a big jar of whey protein shouldn't cost you that much.

    gl
     
  19. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    with few exceptions, whatever you do in life there will be somebody else who can do it better than you. you can't change that, but you CAN change whether or not you do your own personal best. And at the end of the day, that's what matters. Do it for you, measure yourself against your own scale not against what else is around.

    if you stick at it for a few months and end up doing 50% more than you could when you started you're 150% as good as you were before. that's a pretty good improvement in anyone's terms. would you rather your ability be at 100% or 150%?
     
  20. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    holy fuck, thats a shit load of gain. how much did u weigh when u started out? now?
     
  21. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You may also want to check out the book "Body for life" and www.skinnyguy.net (based off that book, but from a skinny guy's perspective). Both are good advice, and may help you create a work out routine that works for you.

    Then remember, you're young and have plenty of time to work out and build up your body. :bigthumb:
     
  22. timberwolf

    timberwolf New Member

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    Body for Life is okay... alot out there better.

    IIRC the guy who started skinnyguy (Anthony Ellis) was one of the two guys who failed the polygraph for steroid use in the original Body for Life contest.
     
  23. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    .

    Everyone starts somewhere - and one of the great things about getting into training and working hard at it is that it forces you to check your ego at the door every single day and focus on what you're doing. The weight will always challenge you the same way and if you put in the effort, you'll see results.

    The more you try to see the "bigger" people in the gym as motivation rather than intimidation - the better off and more enthusiastic you'll be.
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I lift regularly, and unless someone is doing a weight that is impressive (like a 400 lb bench press), then the other people in the gym don't give a shit.

    I've got strong lifts and I've got weak lifts.

    I do ridiculously low weights on shoulders, lately I've been pressing the 30's for sets of 10 and I do lateral raises with 8 lb dumbbells. Who cares? I'm doing what I need to do to improve and that's all that matters.

    I see plenty of guys bigger and stronger than me. Doesn't mean shit. What matters is your progress.

    I've gone from 215 lbs and over 30% bodyfat to 150 lbs with low bodyfat and now to 195lbs from lifting weights. All I care about is my progress. Just get a little better each workout and over a long period of time you will make huge strides. You can't rush it - you have to have faith that what you are doing will pay off.
     
  25. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    here's another thing. Unless you are a member of a hardcore gym, most of the big guys are just maintaining what they have. If you look at the weights they lift, they usually aren't impressive compared to their overall strength level.

    So if you go to the gym and bust your ass 100%, you are working out at a higher intensity than they are!
     

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