SRS Going to Jail / Staying With Girlfriend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Dalmation20, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. Dalmation20

    Dalmation20 New Member

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    I'm 22 next month and my life is pretty shit. I'm in court in a few weeks and am expecting a jail sentence - first time to go to jail and my girlfriend wants us to split up.

    I've been in trouble before for theft and got community service and have been done for drink driving and lost my license. These things happened during a tough time in my life and I thought I had put all taht behind me. My girlfriend knows I've been trying hard to stay out of trouble and haven't been in any trouble for the past year since we've been serious together. We've been together for 2 years and got engaged at Christmas. Since then I've gotten into trouble again - charged with assault and am in court for that in a few weeks and looking at about 6 months I'm told. She is now saying that she can't stick by me anymore and wants to end things.

    The thought of jail is bad enough - I've never been locked up apart from a few overnighters but thinking that I'll be losing everything else makes it all worse.

    I thought that by getting engaged we were saying that we were going to be there for each other no matter what happens. I've always treated her well but know it would be tough for her if I am in jail but still think it's not too much to expect her to be there - as I said it would probably be for 6 months or so.

    My head is all over the place thinking about what's going to happen so I guess I'm trying to find out if anybody has been in a similar situation. I'm a decent guy but I know I've done stupid stuff to get me into this mess.

    What can I do to convince her to stay with me as she does mean alot to me?
    Also, would you stick by your boyfriend if he was in jail and would you go to visit and all that?

    I'm presuming that not to many people on here have been in jail or anything like that - but just in case you have - how did you cope with it and did you make it through ok?
     
  2. zobiewan

    zobiewan i've got a big fucking boner right now..

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    tell her about conjugal visits
     
  3. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    how long of a sentence are you expecting?
     
  4. Dalmation20

    Dalmation20 New Member

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    Told I'm looking at 6-12 months
     
  5. flowers

    flowers New Member

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    your gf is scared i guess for herself and you...once you are in prison your sentence could be reduced on basis of good behaviour?..there is hope for that.
    and if she does not stick with you now, she would not later.
     
  6. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    do you have a good lawyer?
    would spending $40k on a lawyer be able to get you out on probation?
    would that be worth it to you?
     
  7. YourMomOnRyeBun

    YourMomOnRyeBun New Member

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    First question. Your assault charge...was it for assaulting HER?

    Assuming it isn't...

    I can see your point that you got engaged and should stand by each other, but at the same time, didn't she also get engaged to a guy who was "turning his life around"? And now you are back in trouble again? Not trying to put you down, just suggesting another perspective. Maybe she takes this as a sign that you will never change?

    If you had never been in trouble before and suddenly you get in a jam...yes she should stand behind you. However, since you have been in trouble quite a few times, maybe this is the final straw?

    Out of curiosity, what is her criminal past like? Has she has lots of run-ins with the law like you? Again, not putting you down, but you trivialize your arrests and legal issues like they are minor and compared to Charles Manson, they probably are. But from the perspective of someone who has never been arrested, you appear to have a checkered past. This isn't to say you aren't a great guy, but you have to understand someone shying away from that.

    Maybe this is your wake up call. Your decision making has potentially cost you the "love of your life". Get your life cleaned up for good, remove yourself from all the bad situations/influences even if that means new friends/hobbies and possibly moving somewhere else. Serve your six months and try to win back her heart...

    Good Luck.
     
  8. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    Being engaged doesn't mean that you are there for the other person EVEN IF THE OTHER PERSON DOESN'T DISPLAY THE SORT OF SELF CONTROL THAT IS EXPECTED OF A TYPICAL RATIONAL HUMAN BEING.

    Dude you are going to jail. You have sent her a postcard and what the postcard reads is, 'Hey I am the sort of guy that goes to Jail! Stick with me!'.

    If she didn't get up and run I would think she was a complete retard.

    I have (had) a friend that fell for this guy. She had been dating him for a bit when she finally told me about him.
    She says to me, 'Well, he does have a PFA against him, but he has an excuse! That girl is a real bitch!'.

    She married him. He beat her. He took her for a lot of money.

    One of the reasons we are not friends was because I told her that if she married this looser she was ASKING to be beat.

    Same thing going on here.

    Look. This relationship is gone. Gone.

    Go and serve your time. Get out. Clean yourself up. Find another relationship and know that if you DO STUPID SHIT AGAIN AND WIND UP IN JAIL YOU WILL DESTROY THAT RELATIONSHIP TOO!!!
     
  9. YourMomOnRyeBun

    YourMomOnRyeBun New Member

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    Yeah, but she will probably tell him about 6'6" black cell mates. ftl
     
  10. Dalmation20

    Dalmation20 New Member

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    No I don't have alot of money and I've had probation and community service before so I'm told that isn't an option for me this time.


    No it wasn't for assaulting her - I'd never do that. I've been in a few fights but only with other guys - would never touch a woman.

    I hear what you're saying about her being with somebody turning their life around. I know I've let her down and my family down too who have helped me out before. I didn't plan on getting involved but these things happen.

    She hasn't been in any trouble before and has never been arrested or anything like that - I know she doesn't like having to deal with the police or anything like that. I had sort of convinced her that what had happened before was just the regular stuff for a young guy but she isn't taking that any more.

    I haven't given up on her yet you know as I don't think I could handle jail and all the shit that goes with it if I had nothing to look forward to when I get out if you know what I mean.
     
  11. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    I'm sorry but you're going to need to let her go.. this is your wake up call, this time around, all the games, all the bs trouble you've been in and being let off the hook with community service and one nighters in jail and whatnot is finally catching up to you. Did you think the law would just let you ride its balls forever getting off with a slap on the wrist? Come on man, you need to smell the roses, life isn't perfect and everyone has their problems.. granted, we all learn from them and hopefully become more mature and actually learn from them but you have let down the love of your life... the person you're suppose to be engaged with is tired of your way of living and seeing how she doesn't have a past criminal history is more reason why she wants to push you away and end things. Lets be honest, she loves you and cares deeply for you I'm sure but you need to come to a realization that the things you've done and are probably doing is NOT in the best interest for her or yourself and if its any indication that she wants to END THINGS NOW its a good thing. Sorry to say but its not meant for you two because if it was you wouldn't be in this mess, you would second think before you would drive yourself up the wall again and I'm sorry to say but she doesn't mean enough to you because you are letting her down and continued to... my advice, let her go, end it, serve your time and hope for the best that they let you off early for good behavior or possibly you don't go in as long as you may think.. then I want you to realize what things you've done wrong, figure a plan to FIX them and continue life as a NEW and IMPROVED person to the world, clean your act completely and do well in life.. that is the BEST way to show you've changed but don't count that you'll get her back in the end of the tunnel.. look at this as a way of you taking care of yourself FIRST... for now, take care of YOU.
     
  12. Dalmation20

    Dalmation20 New Member

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    I hear what you're saying.

    I don't want to give up on her yet. Apart from getting into trouble we have a good relationship and are good for each other. We both work and I treat her well so I think we could still have a future after I get things sorted out.
     

  13. If you haven't even gone yet and she is talking about splitting up, SHE WILL FUCK OTHER MEN WHILE YOU ARE LOCKED UP.

    May as well dump the mod edit:show some love :hsnono: now and lift like mad so you can pick up a fresh one when you come out.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 13, 2007
  14. I've been in a few times and there are only three things that got to me.


    1)Boredom
    2)Wondering about what's going on on the outside
    3)Listening to the idiots in jail go on about how tough they are (or other equivalent bullshit) without sticking a sharpened spoon in their throat.
     

  15. YOu will likely serve 2-3 and get out on parole. What state are you in?
     
  16. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    I don't blame her for leaving...time to grow up she needs a man not some loser thats always getting into trouble. Funny how you thought asking her to marry you would trap her into staying with you, least she was smart enough to get out now she probably got tired of waiting for you to grow up
     
  17. YourMomOnRyeBun

    YourMomOnRyeBun New Member

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    Look forward to getting out of jail as quickly as your can, clean up your act and turn your life around so that you can either keep the next "right girl" you meet or possibly win this one back.
     
  18. Try not to worry so much. Jail isn't that bad.
     
  19. Japanophile

    Japanophile Guest

    Doesn't everyone get assraped when they go to jail? Just curious.
     
  20. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    There is a difference from Jail and the state slammer.
     
  21. TonyMontana

    TonyMontana Black and Gold

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    try not to get railed by too many black men
     
  22. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    :werd: i worked at Attica for a year and the stories i heard from both guards & prisoners were pretty fucked up. I also witnessed a "shanking" in the middle of the day. But county lockup isn't too nice either, a friend of mine was there for a few days and because the guards were pissed at him (he fought some cops to get put in there) they put him in a cell with a psycho crackhead that fought him the first night.

    Not trying to freak you out, just becareful and be polite to the guards, they can fuck you over worse than the other inmates if you get on their bad side.
     

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