SRS Going to China for a girl I don't know

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by saranghaeyo86, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. saranghaeyo86

    saranghaeyo86 New Member

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    Hi there people,

    I think I need some advice here. So here's the story. I met a girl online, via a chat program called Skype. It's very nice and all, but then she asked me to come visit her. And she was serious about it. But there's just one small problem... I live in Holland, and she lives in Beijing, China. That's like the other side of the world.. But I actually started working and I've already earned enough money for the trip. But my friends and some people around me tell me that I really should think it over and that I must be very carefull. Of course they're right.. after all we met on the internet and we don't "really" know eachother... and most of all, she can't be trusted. And on top of that, I don't know the country. It's a whole different culture and I don't speak a word Chinese.. well Ni Hao, and that's it. So she told me that she would stay at my side at all time. She also told me that I could stay at her place, which is a relief because I can't possibly pay for a hotel. And I'm planning to stay there for two weeks. Right now I'm really serious about meeting her and I'm willing to take the risks. I've planned to visit her next year in the summer holiday since we're both still in high school.

    So I was just wondering what you guys think about this. Should I take the risks? Maybe any of you got some tips for me?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    This sounds so far like a terrible idea. How long have you been talking to her? You're only in high school kid. Why would you want to spend all your hard earned money on a trip to see a girl that you might possibly never see again? More importantly, why would you ever plan to stay there for 2 weeks? What happens when you get out there, finally meet her, and there's not even a spark of chemistry in person or you just can't stand her?

    Everyone seems perfect when you meet them online, we all have a sort of facade online-a mask we can hide behind. You need to really think about this, and more importantly just keep talking to her via Skype until next summer. Maybe if you guys are still into each other by then then you can consider it. Until then I say go out and meet girls who are local to you.
     
  3. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    Honestly sounds like you have no clue about the trip and thats to be expected. Most likely you will need a passport and then once you get that you'll need a Visa to get into China. I don't know the costs for all that in Holland but thats extra money. You are putting a lot of trust in a girl that you think you know but in reality you don't know as well as you think. I'd be very very careful if I were you.

    Another thing make sure you plan things out ahead of time. Where you two will meet, will you need transportation and make sure you have a place to stay. It also wouldn't hurt to get a translation book so that you can sort of fumble your way through the language if you happen to get lost.
     
  4. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    How long have you been talking? How old are you both?
     
  5. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    Doesn't sound too good. I've been to Beijing, China (hometown) many times, and it's really hard to get around, especially if this is your first time. Trust me, their english is terrible. Also two weeks? I stayed with my best friend since elementary school for two weeks in Miami. It sounds fun, but sometimes you just miss home. Even if you have the best chemistry, two weeks is too long. After a week, I wanted to go home because I was homesick. If you're visiting another country for two weeks, I'm sure it will be difficult

    You don't know the girl either. It's VERY different in person.

    And also, how old are you? and long have you known her?
     
  6. HunniBunni

    HunniBunni New Member

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    I would be extremely wary of this girl. You dont know her or her family, and ANYTHING could happen in china. I was born there and lived there before. It would seem like she wants you as her ticket out of China. Be extremely careful. China is a beautiful country, but people there are very shady.
     
  7. saranghaeyo86

    saranghaeyo86 New Member

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    Well I've been talking to her since May this year. We just talked and talked, and then she told me that she really likes me and that she want's to meet me. She sent me a lot of pictures and I couldn't believe how pretty she was. So later I sent her some of my pictures. The first thing she told me is that I wasn't really her cup of tea. But she said that the way I look doesn't matter to her and that she'll love me anyway. She even wrote me some letters explaining her love to me.

    So at first I thought this was just too good to be true. How can a pretty Chinese girl like her love an ordinary guy like me? And I'm not even Chinese. To be honest I've never even dated any girl because I'm too shy. So I figured this is the opportunity to finally meet someone that I can be with.

    About actually going to China. I have thought about the stuff I need to take care of like visa and extra costs. I already have a passport. And I've calculated some of the costs like ticket, food, transportation, emergencies. I'm still working on stuff like visa, assurances and a creditcard. But nothing has been set yet. I need to be really sure about things before I take care of everything.

    EDIT:
    She's 17 and I'm 21 years old.

    And also in response to HunniBunni's comment. It's funny that you mentioned that, because you're not the first person who warned me for that. It seems that some Chinese girls use people to get out of the country. I don't know if she would be like that... I really can't tell.
     
  8. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Whole situation seems kinda weird. Have you spoken on the phone or done any kind of webcam chat?
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    This is pretty much what I was afraid of...That you are just a sweet, young, shy guy who is too afraid to meet women local to him so he meets one online that gives him the time of day and assumes the girl will actually love him. The truth is that again, she doesn't really know you, you dont really know her. You and especially her are really young. What happens if you meet her and do like her, then what? You keep saving up your money to see her every few months, years? You have to think about the future a little bit.
     
  10. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    Hahaha, that's stereotypical. The country isn't dangerous at all.
     
  11. saranghaeyo86

    saranghaeyo86 New Member

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    We've already thought about that too. Our plan was as follows. First we both finish school, then we get a steady job and earn some money. Once we got the money, we'll move to the US and buy a nice house. But I guess that's easier said than done.. I'm aware of that.

    But like you said, there's a possibility that it won't work out. But shouldn't I at least give it a shot?
     
  12. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    This is almost comical.
     
  13. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    If there is a stereotype about young Chinese girls. It's that they go for foreigners because they think they would attain a good future that way. =\ You can't ignore that possibility

    You even had a plan to move to the U.S.? To be honest that further supports the stereotype.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Wow...that's almost scary that you've thought that far...Now I'm all for you at least just meeting the girl first :ugh: If at 17 she is going along with those plans then it does almost sound like she's looking for a ticket out of her country...
     
  15. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    Yes, that's what I suspected. This isn't uncommon though.
     
  16. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I'm going to be blunt, although personally I do believe in love no matter how the holder of it finds the other. Via Internet, Random Phone Call, bar, etc/whatever.

    You're YOUNG. Hell, I'm 21 and IM young, never mind yourself. I think you need to prioritize yourself, finish school, then go from there. You're going to attatch yourself to this girl, in China none-the-less, and it's going to prevent you from ever experiencing nature and life. Keep her as a friend until you finish school, until then, live life.. It's too short to worry about someone oceans away.
     
  17. Striker22

    Striker22 New Member

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    Id be pretty careful if this is serious. I know someone who has been to Shanghai/Beijing several times and lived there, he loved it. Have it all planned out if you do go, and have a backup plan, because shit will not go as planned 100%. Your gonna need a lot of cash at your side as well..
     
  18. FoolioABC

    FoolioABC New Member

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    Dude, it sounds like if you go to Beijing you might be Shanghai'd (pun intended). Seriously though, what are you going to do if she just scams you and fucks you over once you get there. I'm Chinese and have been to China several times, and people there have tried to screw ME various ways. You've never been there and don't speak a lick of Chinese. What do you think will happen?
     
  19. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    If you do go see her, I wouldnt stay at her place. Then she's already the boss. You dont know where you are you cant even walk around on yourself. You cant do anything without their approving. Regardless how sweet she is, she knows best and you know it.
    She lives with her family?

    The few times me and some friends stayed with people we barely knew together in around Asia, we often ended up having to pay for alot. I don't mean not just our way but their way. Sure in the start you dont mind. You are just repaying the hospitality but after a few days it does get to you. When you have to pay for gas to get to wherever they want to go. When they expect you to pay for just about everything. You feel exploited. You want to go to dinner with her? Expect her family to come with. Especially when she's that young.
    Family is really big there. And trust me they can put you on the spot.
    It might not be on purpose, it might be the culture that expects it. But it can end up provoking the shit out of you when your not used to that.

    I'm from Japan. It's not so much the same there, it can be in someplaces. But I imagine if your not used to the treatment it could just make you more frustrated.

    So I recommend to you to find out where she lives, book a nearby hotel. Some of these hotels look after you, especially foreigners. Take the hotel card, if you get lost just get in a cab and show him it. Have a plan and a backup plan, something to do if things go bad and places you want to go and such. Whatever you do, do not sleep overnight at her parents house.

    Beijing is a nice place though, lots of nice things to see and do.
    Just be carefull! ;)
     
  20. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    Don't do it man.

    DO NOT DO IT.
     
  21. HunniBunni

    HunniBunni New Member

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    A personal perspective from living there and visiting there many times. Of course, it depends on where you go. I didnt say specifically everyone!
     
  22. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    i assure you you can meet women on the other side of the city and spend at least 1/8th the cost of going to China.

    Mr. China sayz: "I so solly"
     
  23. runawaycamel

    runawaycamel New Member

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    Well, I don't know if I'd do it solely for a girl/guy, but it'd be a nice vacation anyways?
     
  24. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    I've been to Beijing several times
    Have her meet you at a nice hotel, i recommend Park Plaza Wangfujing
    it is about 66usd a night for 4 star service, bilingual staff, and she will know where it is (next to the ferrari dealership). That way you meet in a safe, public, gorgeous environment to kinda get your nerves about you.

    traveling Beijing is pretty easy, just stay in the Wanfujing area. Don't go into massage places, do not accept any invites from "art students", and DO NOT EVER follow a girl you meet on the street into a bar. Its a scam.

    Just do it dude, you can always leave.
     
  25. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    This post has red flags and warnings all over it.

    You don't have the money, China is a very big country my brother got lost there and almost died , he also didn't speak a single word of chinese and trust me almost zero procent speaks english,only tourguides and such so your going to have a hard time getting around for sure. Whats more is that if you can't find her, or if she is just messing with your head, and leaves you in the street saying 'oh i found another guy' , and you can't pay for a hotel, trust me you won't enjoy sleeping on the streets.

    This whole wild adventure has BAD IDEA written all over it.

    If you want to execute a bad idea, then at least find the financial backup to support it if things go wrong. Im totally against it,if you would go in the way you are going now expect the worst.
     

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