SRS Going throught a tough stage of my life...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chickenbum, Sep 12, 2007.

  1. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    Going through a tough stage of my life...

    Hi All

    Long time member first time poster...

    Well its been two weeks since my girlfriend decided that she didnt want a relationship any more. We were together for 3 years and it hurt like mad when she told me.

    She was thin, hot, smart, good in bed and had a great personality, she had career goals and wanted to do something with herself, she is also outgoing and quite social.

    pic for reference (me on the right)
    [​IMG]

    at first i thought i was going to be ok. But now ive realised that she is never coming back and i dont just miss her but i miss her friends (who might now have only been friends with me through her) and i also miss the companionship. I was taking it quite hard and i went to see a counsellor about how i can get my life on track.

    You see the problem is that she has lost nothing, if she fell out of love with me then so be it, but she has lost NOTHING, i have lost friends, sex, her...all sorts and she is tough skinned and i know she is over me already and that hurts.


    Anyways last sunday i went for a drive to clear my head, i got a phone call from a family friend to say that my mum had taken a bunch of pills and tried to OD. She had been rushed to hospital and was in a coma like state for 6 days.

    My mother knew i was depressed because of my GF situation and thought she caused it, she tool 20 or so sleeping pills and 16 valium in an attempt to commit suicide. Thankfully the pills she took werent fatal, and when she came to (6 days later) she said she was doing it for me to free me and to make me move on and get on with my life...

    This in itself hurt and outshadowed the GF situation....but now leaves me with other issues. You see i only really had two people in my life, my gf and my mum, i lost my gf and i almost lost my mum, if i did lose mum then i would have most definately ended my own life just from the overload of bad shit going on.


    anyways its been 10 days since mum did that and she is well again (going to therapy about the attempted suicide) and i am suprisingly ok but still bitter.


    I have applied for jobs in different cities just to get away and have a fresh start, the last thing i want to do is see my ex-gf arm in arm with some other guy, i worshipped the ground she stood on...some girls have it so good.


    anyways

    just thought id sign in.
    Jim
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2007
  2. scx

    scx New Member

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    Spend some time with your mom, make sure she doesnt do crazy stuff like thata again.

    about your pain with ur gf. you have to move on, and realize you can still be happy without her. You lost as much as she has lost but none of the which you cant get back from someone else.

    You had a great girl yes, but you just need some time for yourself. Go make new friends or go hang out with your current friends. Take a walk or learn something new. Anyways it seems like you're doing alright with the process. There is a happy ending. Good luck
     
  3. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    cheers man, im doing all those things, im on track i think....thanks for replying :)
     
  4. scx

    scx New Member

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    no problem man, feel better!!
    im kinda going thru some troubles myself, it feels better to see someone else being brave n everything. I guess its like encouragement to everyone!
    We'll make it man!
     
  5. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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  6. Bugalu

    Bugalu OT Supporter

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    Chickenbum!

    its ckanderson from SF.

    :wavey:
     
  7. keysmachine

    keysmachine New Member

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    tough times pass, tougher people stick around you'll get through this
     
  8. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    dang man, stay strong and spend time with your mom!

    this is seriously not what i was expecting when i opened it up
     
  9. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    i'm sorry and i know it hurts but in a non gay way you look like a fly guy with your act together. you'll find someone else. hang in there
     
  10. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    cheers guys
     
  11. R6Tuan

    R6Tuan OT Supporter

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    hang in there guy.

    keep an open mind and when u least expect it someone will come into your life that will make u forget about ur ex
     
  12. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    dude, let me tell you. you are not the first person to get your heart broken. but 4-6 weeks from now you will be fine.

    here's what you need to do.

    1) your mom is kind of wacked out if that was her proposed solution to your problem. get some help for her.

    2) get a gym membership and start exercising. you will notice results in a couple weeks and you will feel better. you will also get an extra self confidence boost for meeting new girls.
     
  13. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    Listen man, cut all ties with this person. I've realized one thing, that is you OWE IT TO YOURSELF to never speak to this person again. I lost all my dignity begging her and she couldn't care less. It's as if all of a sudden someone flipped a switch on her. But with women it's never all of a sudden. I'm guessing she thought about breaking up with you for the last 6 months.

    All this break up stuff is so standard these days. Men need to learn how to play their cards right. Whenever a girl says she doesn't want to be with you, I say RUN. Run fast and never look back. If you were an honest and genuine person in the relationship, one day she'll regret leaving you, but that should not matter to you anyway. You need to have a big ego and just let go. Sever all ties. No phone, email, im's, nothing. Keep us updated.
     
  14. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    you are so so right man, 100%!



    as for the gym...i started going 3 months ago, and i feel great, ive lsot 13 kilos and im looking the best i ever have...time to get some chicks...
     
  15. scx

    scx New Member

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    haha man i think you're almost completely thru the process!
     
  16. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    i hope so, i cant help but think about her tho,im sure this is normal


    and what my brain is doing is remembering all the good times, you know when you first start seeing someone and there is the first 6 months and its just awesome, im remembering all those things, im not remembering the last 6 months when she never wanted to have sex, was too busy to see me, and put her friends before me....if i concentrate on those things ill be ok i hope.


    Also ive learned that the bar/club scene isnt my thing, i mean i like it but i could never pick up a girl there, i dont know i think im more reserved than that.

    The problem in the town im in is that the nice chicks stay home or dont go out, and i dont really have any friends to tag along with to meet people, i also come from a 13,000 people town.

    My gf was a long distance relationship and she was from the city with a 1.2mil population (2 hours away) and i loved the city social scene.

    I think i miss that than anything else.


    actually to be honest i miss not having anyone think about me...thats what i miss.


    but yea im trying, i havent lowered my standards for girls yet, and i dont think im gonna, i dont wanna settle for second best when i know im an awesome guy :)
     
  17. sea bass

    sea bass Guest


    wow you described my situation to a T. it's hard when she moves on so easily and you lose so much. well we're in the same boat. a tough process but looking at it reasonably, it will pass.
     
  18. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    I agree

    I know she is going to be successful at mechanical engineering, she is going to be wealthy but i cant think of that and what could have been. Sure i will miss her but over time im sure the feeling will pass.

    Plus im learning to dance so i can go out and grind against hot chicks :p
     
  19. Schadenfreude1

    Schadenfreude1 New Member

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    You're making this about YOU. You have hitched your selfesteem to this relationship, and now that it has failed you are questioning your self worth. You go through the "what ifs" and torture the shit out of yourself. You have to be physically restrained from calling her. The underlying question you ask is "why am i not good enough?"

    Well that's bullshit. Stop wasting your time asking questions with irrelevant answers and focus on your life. Keep your life in order and relationships will follow. Who wants to be with a emotionally strung out whining bitch? No one worth being with, that's for sure.

    She does not want to be with you. Don't waste another nanosecond pining after her. It's counter productive.
     
  20. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    thank you! its harsh but its what i needed to hear. you are a champ
     
  21. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    and a dude just died on you....and you are helping me as well..dude you are freakin awesome, you need a payrise!
     
  22. ay0

    ay0 New Member

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    My advice, take some time off from meeting a new girlfriend for awhile. I only view girls as entertainment nothing more. Cherish the little things in life, and don't get so caught up negative things about the past. Yes, find a another job in a different location and start a new life. But, go easy when it comes to trying to meet a new girl and don't rush things. Find other things in life that make you happy, don't let some girl define your happiness. Just remember this, most people get into relationships just because they fear "fear" itself of being alone. It wasn't meant to be, so move on. Also, everything isn't what it seems. Good Luck.
     
  23. Chickenbum

    Chickenbum TOTW Winnar & Fav '06 ;)

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    Ok


    update to my situation


    I asked a girl out at the gym i go to, she is stunning...


    i asked her out to dinner and she said sorry but im interested in someone else :(


    time to deal with rejection again


    Gonna stop caring about this stuff for a while and just have some ME time i think
     
  24. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Do you have a lot of friends to hang out with? I would spend time with them and your family of course, you'll learn you don't need a girl to make your life complete. Be happy with yourself first as corny as that sounds
     
  25. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Aww dude that friggin sucks... I was following your thread in off-topic but I missed this one the other day. Don't take it to hard, you'll find what you want you want eventually.
     

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