Going on a second date with a chick who I don't think is that into me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Arkaybee, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    Met this chick through some social events, she started chatting with me initially, turns out we had a bit in common. She is kind of a gym rat like me so I asked her out to play racquetball one Saturday. We met up and played best of 3 games, loser buys lunch. She lost so she bought me lunch. We had some good conversation and found out we have even more in common.

    During the date, I didn't feel that she was THAT into me from the way she talked/walked but never really got that vibe when we would talk/text before the date anyway. However, at the end of playing racquetball she was the one who offered to go out to lunch right then (even though we were all sweaty) instead of waiting. Maybe she just didn't want to see me again? ( :wtc: ) At the end of the date she said she said, "I actually had a really great time" and I said I would talk to her later. Text her an hour or so afterwards and said that I'd like to go out with her again and she said "We totally should :)"

    So I ask her out again last week, to see if she wanted to go to dinner this week and she said yes. She turned down my first choice of restaurant (pho) because she said she didn't think she would like it. She suggested an Indian place but neither of knew of one in the valley and I told her that I didn't really like Indian food. She said I could pick wherever and she would be adventurous ( :confused: ). We eventually settled on a BBQ place.

    So we are supposed to go out on Wed this week and meet at the restaurant. I guess we will see what happens. She rarely starts conversations with me and responds to casual texts during the week maybe 60% of the time. Should I ask her if she has any interest in me? :noes:
     
  2. Capt. Slow

    Capt. Slow Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Messages:
    343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Vermont
    I've been through this a few times myself. I would (and have) asked them if they had any interest in a relationship.
    one of my ex's was like this at first, she was just a bit shy during actual contact, but was fine with texting/calling.
     
  3. edward_cullen

    edward_cullen Unemployed Since 08

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Messages:
    1,269
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hollywood, CA
    No, that's a retarded question, especially this early on.

    Just let the situation unfold itself, after Wednesday's date, and maybe another you will have a good idea where you stand with her...
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2010
  4. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    hell no.

    if you really need to know, its gotta be through words and not actions. I wouldn't do this, but just a quick example... Say its her turn to plan the date. If she bothers to plan a date and call you, you know shes at least somewhat interested.

    definitely don't come out and ask straight away. With humor you could probably find out a little.. but actions are better.

    My preferred action starts with taking off her shirt.

    edit: typo.. obviously i meant through actions and not words
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010
  5. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    Yeah, I agree it's a lame question. Just go based on her actions. Not responding to every text is a sign, imo. But I'm really text-based so maybe I'm not a good example. If I was into a guy, I'd respond to every text (not immediately maybe, but eventually I'd get to it during the day).
     
  6. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    I'm confused. She's going on another date with you... how many signs of interest do you need?
     
  7. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place

    This is what I was waiting on during the time of our first date and when I asked her out for a second. I didn't necessarily want her to plan something but just continue chatting which she didn't. Maybe she is just a busy chick but I know that more often than not, people just use that excuse to soften the blow of rejection.
     
  8. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2008
    Messages:
    11,768
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    This is the place
    :hsugh: just cause she goes on another date doesn't mean she is interested. Maybe she just wants free dinner
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    ...she's interested enough to see you again. At which point you can gauge her interest level in person.

    If you really think that she's only into you for free food you need to stop picking girls up at the homeless shelter.
     
  10. Gogoplata

    Gogoplata Guest

    You're sabotaging this.
     
  11. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    6,484
    Likes Received:
    1
    Are you interested in her?
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,725
    Likes Received:
    500
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Was there any physical contact or kissing involved in your first date? Not, not physical contact like you high fived her after making a good play. Physical contact as in slow, warm brush of the arm and a flirty smile. Something along those lines.

    Because, honestly, just going off your first post? It really looks like you guys are just a couple of buddies who meet at some social event and played racquetball together.

    She probably has no fucking clue that you think of her as more than just a friend. :dunno:
     
  13. _A_

    _A_ New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2007
    Messages:
    33,723
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buffalo
    are you saying "date" or are you saying "hey lets go hang out"?

    If it was a true date, it honestly sounds like you want her to talk to you all the time, after 1 date.

    stop with the texting (you shouldn't be chain texting someone you went on 1 date with), go on more dates.

    Let things unfold and stop worrying about shit you cant control. If shes not blowing off your dates, than she is into you. Dont make her plan shit if shes clearly not comfortable doing it.
     
  14. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    7,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    You're probably thinking about her more than she's thinking about you.

    It doesn't mean she doesn't like you.

    Maybe since you're both pretty particular with food you should try something else. Got a pool hall in the area? IMO, that's the new "bowling alley" or "minigolf" date that hasn't been played out and they usually serve alcohol there.

    antihero, you posting from work, man? iPhone? Proxy? TEACH ME!
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2010
  15. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC

    :rofl: dude, you realize ive been on OT for 8 years and about 5 ot'ers know my name. lol

    posting from work? I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about or any knowledge of aforementioned subject
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2010
  16. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    7,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    I don't know what I'm talking about either. :cool:
     
  17. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Should've picked pho and she could've been adventurous with pho.
     
  18. Tsunami

    Tsunami New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2004
    Messages:
    72,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    :wtf: How does this guy get more action than me?
     
  19. Fucker

    Fucker out of the fast lane, bitches

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2005
    Messages:
    11,538
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Left Coast
    i love indian food. you agree to go with her and she goes with you for pho. guaranteed 3rd date. live a little.
     
  20. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    NO NO NO NO NO.... honestly she already sounds interested. just relax man.

    so many people in the VAG so worried about how other people are feeling. stop guessing and just do what is natural. you're making yourself crazy. :noes:
     
  21. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    rk, has it ever occurred to you that your lack of experience with women means you have no fucking clue whether a girl is into you or not? Just sayin'.

    Stop overthinking it and enjoy yourself. Unless she says otherwise or starts avoiding seeing/talking to you, just assume things are good.
     
  22. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
  23. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    Dude wtf.. she sounds pretty interested. Take a chill pill and have a good time. Stop being so self conscious.
     
  24. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    bingo
     
  25. Specialist23

    Specialist23 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2003
    Messages:
    29,598
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    minnesota
    :werd:
     

Share This Page