God damn it! stupidity!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SpeedLaci, May 14, 2006.

  1. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    God damn it! Well I guess I will get into it... I (was) coming up to my 3 yr anniversary with my boyfriend. Best 3 years of my life. Though I will admit he had secruity issues. And did not trust me. He knew i never cheated on him, but he just had trust issues in general. He was extremely jealousd and possesive..we were working on it and he got better, but still wouldnt let me talk to guys, or if i did he was ask questions and non the less get upset even if it was to ask me homework. so stupid me gets a phone on the side. not to flirst or hook up with guys, but just to talk to my friends, the friends he started tokeep me away from, even the girls...well needless to say he suprised me at my apartment last night and i answered the door forgetting to hide the phone, well he found it.. and saw the call log and left....he messaged that he is over me, i mean nothing to him and that i beter leave him alone. I cant get over him! I know he was wrong to be so posseive, and i was wrong to go behind is back with the phone.. but realizing both dont make me feel any better. he was all i had..we have broke up a couple of times in the past, either because of his stupidity or his dislike with my friends or whatever.. i know.. i know he isnt worth it. yadi yadi yadi.. it wont help me get over him.. i live alone.. and am so lonely now..i dont want a rebound.. i just want him back..but i know its not going to happen.. god i just want to hear something .. anything.. that will make this better.. or give me hope.. anything..i have tried the truth before, when i lied etc.. just telling him to the truth and just begged for his forgiveness.. and he usually forgave me but not without making me feeling worthless and depressing me...but this time..i really think he is over me.. and wants nothing to do with me. After 3 years of amazing love.. even talking about a ring...we were everything to eachother.. and now..without let me explain the phone he is gone.. and now forgotten about me.. please help me!
     
  2. Ahh by going behing his back and getting a cell to talk to guys you were bound to cheat sooner or later, glad to see he dumped you before you got too outta hand. Good for him. Glad to see that he doesn't put up with women's shit like most of the idiots do, another man changed by the great Tom Leykis lol.
     
  3. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    a stupid addition is that..im scarying myself without him.. i havent eaten all day.. and dont plan to.. my only solution in my emotional head right now is to make myself better and have some other guy want me.. but i just want to starve myself..im average weight, but i just want to starve get skinny and make him regret ever leaving me.. god im depressed..i dont want to do anything but hurt myself for hurting our relationship obviously not hurting him at all
     
  4. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    I did it to talk to friends.. girls and guys.. it wasnt to cheat.. it was to have friends..in the 3 years I never cheated on him. i wanted to marry this guy! i had not intentions of cheating
     
  5. Sounds like you need a painkiller and vodka cocktail, lol that will get him back.
     
  6. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    i have a fridge full of alcohol, i dont want to drink, it only makes me feel more emotional... i would run infront of a bus if it ment i could get him back, but there is nothing i can do...
     
  7. Haha you did this to yourself honey, you should have thought of the outcome before you went behind his back, is talking to "boys" on the phone really worth it compaired to how you are feeling now? You got what was coming to you, man the fuck up and take your medicine.
     
  8. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    hey i admitted what i did was wrong.. he has done far worse things to me.. i didnt do this to hurt him.. i just knew if i kept away from my friends it would of hurt our relationship in the end.. i just thought that this way i could maintain our relationship and still maintain my life as well.. i wasnt going out or partying.. i just needed people to talk to..i mean who was i supposed to turn to when i had problems with him.?
     
  9. Seto Kaiba

    Seto Kaiba Screw the rules I have money!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2004
    Messages:
    23,107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Don't listen to Whitey, he's dumb. You should find a guy who lets you have friends of any gender and who trusts you enough to let you hang out with them. You'd never have a healthy relationship with the guy acting like that. Trust me, the same thing has happend to me. Just get yourself all prettied up and go out and have fun with your new friends and you'll most likely find a guy to hook up with and maybe even a boyfriend.
     
  10. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    ya that sounds great! get beuatiful, go to bar find a great guy.. and then what? i have never slept with anyone but my boyfriend.. and at my age thats the first thing they want.. dont get me wrong.. im extremely sexual and love everything about it, i just dont see myself doing it with anyone else right now...i just dont find myself attracted to anyone..NO ONE.. and i find one and all he is going to think is im a prude.
     
  11. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    well i got out of the shower and i dont want to get dressed , im just wrapped up in my blanket.. i dont want to do anything..
     
  12. Seto Kaiba

    Seto Kaiba Screw the rules I have money!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2004
    Messages:
    23,107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Instead of going to a bar, try somewhere where people are necessarly looking to have sex. Maybe meet someone at school, at a library or something. Then they won't want to have sex right away, but you can make out and date. And don't think saying no to sex on the first date is prude, because it's not.
     
  13. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    i just know im giong to compare every guy to him.. he was 14 years older then i am, so i know i have some dependency on him...i dont wan to feel that dependency anymore! but i am not attracted to those my age or younger..its a lose lose
     
  14. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    good riddance. that is no way to live. your ex is a nutcase. I agree. start doing things for you. call your friends, go out, have fun. you need to learn to be your own person. Maybe you will meet someone else, but im not sure someone else is what you really need right now.
     
  15. Seto Kaiba

    Seto Kaiba Screw the rules I have money!

    Joined:
    May 31, 2004
    Messages:
    23,107
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think maybe taking a month or two to be more independent would be good for you. Hang out with your friends and have fun. Then when you feel better about not having to have a boyfriend, you can get in a good healthy relationship.
     
  16. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    i want to meet someone else... but im not me right now... usually a confident outgoing person.. but right now.. eh.. just tired of fighting the world to be in it.. but... i have a scary feeling that the only way i will get over him is by finding someone else.......
     
  17. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC

    you need to get comfortable with yourself. a confident person would not allow another to control them the way you let this guy. Im sure since you lived it for 3 years, it seems normal to you, but it isnt. A relationship doesnt have to be like that. you've been walking on eggshells so long probably dont remember how nice it was to have someone who wanted you to be happy and didnt have a lot of messed up issues of their own that they put on you.
     
  18. SpeedLaci

    SpeedLaci New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    i know ...but its weird for me, there have been guys who want to give me "everything" and once they try i just fall out of interest you know.. there are guy who are trying to offer me more then my boyfriend ever did but it never interested me.. i dont know how to explain it. its like the second i know someone likes me i stop liking them.. or the ones i do find interest in, well all the want is just sex.. my boyfriend was the perfect cominbatino.. he always kept me guessing but always made me feel loved, very sexual.. but thats not all he wanted..
     
  19. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC

    its going to be impossible for someone you dont know to measure up to your boyfriend. Think about it, you barely know them, how could you know enough to make them seem better then this boyfriend you have been with for 3 years. you have to find someone who you see something in, and then spend some time to get to know more.


    think about this... you had to hide a cellphone in order to talk to your girlfriends. that goes way beyond insane. the guy wasnt really that great, you just miss the way he made you feel.

    you need a guy with a little bit of a bad boy edge. its not that hard to find a guy like that.
     
  20. Ozner

    Ozner Offical TSL OP Leghumper

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2003
    Messages:
    6,456
    Likes Received:
    1
    What part of Cali you in?
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    :bowdown:
     
  22. RoblesGT

    RoblesGT [Track Days: 19 ][Crashes: 1] [SuMo Days: 1 ][Cras OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2001
    Messages:
    66,003
    Likes Received:
    54
    Location:
    Arizona
    14 fucking years ?!!!

    jesus fucking christ ... be glad you got of this pedophile rapist douchebag ... seriously a man his age, whatever it may be, has no business having security issues ... consider yourself lucky to be rid of him ...

    so what part of cali you in ?? I might be going there in the next few months .. :naughty:
     
  23. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2003
    Messages:
    8,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    14 years older? man, you could date someone your own age and still find those sort of security issues.

    you can do better, the dude is fucked up. like people have said find someone who doesn't have a problem with you talking to male OR female friends. shit, as long as you can trust someone and they come home to you and you only then what have you got to worry about?
     
  24. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2002
    Messages:
    1,677
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    Ask yourself...

    Why would you want to marry someone who didnt trust you?
    Why would you want to marry someone who wouldnt allow you to have friends?

    You couldnt have had 3 amazing years of love. There is no love without trust. Sounds like you had a babysitter, or a warden.

    Be glad he's gone. Dont beg, have some self-respect. Compare news guys to him....you'll find a better one. One who respects and loves you, lets you be you, lets you have friends and loves you uncondiontally. You are out of a unhealthy emotionally abusive relationship. Now, start to find out who you really are. You should never rely on anyone but yourself to bring happiness, first and foremost. Dont look back, you'd be digging your own grave.
     
  25. suckafuhreak

    suckafuhreak New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2004
    Messages:
    37
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol. wanna get with me? i live in cali. =) and that 14 years apart... holy shit! how old are you?
     

Share This Page