SRS go to a funeral?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tsi90, Mar 28, 2007.

  1. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    someone my gf knew died and she is going to go to the funeral. She wants me to go with too. I have no idea who the person is so I would feel kind of weird being there. Should I go or not :dunno:
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    someone you care about is asking you to be with her during a tough time and you're going to do what instead? play some xbox or Be cHiLliN' wIt dA hOmIeZ?

    how's it going to sound when you say "I don't want to go" and later she says "what'd you do while I was there?" and you say "nuthin." Not much caring shown there. I would NEVER feel "kind or weird" doing something that helped someone I cared for.
     
  3. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Well her parents will be there with her so its not like she is alone. Ive never been to a funeral so Im not sure how this stuff works.
     
  4. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Go with her. Even if you didn't know the person, you aren't going for them, you are going for your girlfriend.

    How old are you that you've never been to a funeral?
     
  5. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Im 23
     
  6. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    I would assume that some people can be blessed to not have anyone they are close to die. But if one lives long enough they will.


    Funerals are extremely weird for me. I dont like to go near the body. There is something about looking/being near a dead person that just completely irks me I just cant bring myself to stand close to a dead body. Im sure that maybe if it was one of my family members that, that situation might change. For the time being however I keep a safe distance. However, if my boyfriend asked me to go a funeral with him and I was able too, I would definitely go. You may feel its meaningless or fruitless to go but for her it can mean alot to know that the person she loves is by her side during a hard time.

    The last funeral I went to however was a happy funeral we celebrated her life and relived a lot of her memories.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2007
  7. pixing

    pixing New Member

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    FYI Funerals are weird for everyone

    How long have you been dating? If it's more than a month or two and you don't have to take work off, go. Otherwise, attend one of the night wakes with your girl.

    Death brings up all kinds of strangeness if there is family drama going on, or the person was young and the death was unexpected.. go and be a friend, it helps to have someone to stand with.
     
  8. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    you don't have to go if you don't want to

    if she makes a big deal out of it, go just to be by her side. but if she's nonchalant with it, don't go :dunno:
     
  9. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    At first maybe. But my father is one of 9 and my mother is one of 10 (or vice versa...I can never remember) and my father is the youngest in his family. So we've been going to funerals since before I can remember.

    Of course everyone is sad...someone we love died. But we choose to celebrate life, not mourn death. Most eulogies begin with "Remember when he.............?" and more often than not there's as much (or more) laughing as there is crying. There's always a get-together after (joking called the after-party). It used to be in the room downstairs at the church and many times it lasted longer than the funeral. But a few years ago father had to come down and shush us because the people upstairs at the service after the funeral could hear. Now the after-party is at someone's house.

    That's what a funeral should be. People who love each other getting together to remember and support each other. Everyone brings something...food, money, hell one year an uncle brought a couple cord of wood and we spent half the after-party stacking it!

    As I get older I've started to wonder what it'll be like when my parents die. All that's certain is there will be tears and there will be laughter, and there's nothing disprespectful about telling the story of the time my father told my mother to hold the rope as he climbed out the window to scrape the paint from the glass. He really should have told her to tie her end to something becuase he's 250lbs and she's maybe 110, *and* he didn't tell her exactly why she was holding the rope so when he got out the window and leaned back she really wasn't ready and he fell 15' into the flower bed. Call it a redneck funeral if you want, but stories of fun, loving, crazy shit people did are why we get together.
     
  10. Tan + Blue

    Tan + Blue back up in your ass with the resurrection

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    if for nothing else, go so when someone you do care about dies, you will have some idea what to expect. going to a funeral for someone you care about and having to worry and feel awkward about the process really shouldn't be on your mind.
     
  11. Plasma

    Plasma New Member

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    Just go - Dont be so scared about going (jeeze).

    You won't need to know anyone. I went to a funeral last week and heaps of my relatives bought their bf/gf's - its perfectly fine.
     
  12. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I don't get why everyone is skiddish about funerals, it's happens to everyone. Death is a part of life, you need to make peace with it.
     
  13. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    I am honestly ok with every part of the funeral except for seeing the dead body part.
     
  14. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    death is a part of life, but going to a funeral isn't about making peace (for everyone)

    I've never gone to a funeral and that's because I've always opted not to go...even for my best friend and my grandfather and other family members. It's something I'm not into and I'd like to remember the person while they were alive and the good times. It's never been about being skiddish or weird, it's just that I have no real need to go. :dunno:

    everyone is different though
     
  15. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I dont think age should matter with never having gone to a funeral. I'm 20 and never gone to one, while my fiance is 21 and has been to many, and even was a pallbearer in 2 or 3.

    Anyway, to the OP: How long have you two been together? Are you guys serious? She obviously wants you there for comfort because this is hard on her. If you really don't want to go, don't. I doubt someone is going to make a big deal that you are there and didn't know the deceased.
     
  16. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Just being there for her to support her is enough. I suggest you would go.
     
  17. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    You should go support your girlfriend.

    If you don't want to see the corpse, then just stay back and don't go by the casket. Believe it or not, there are also others who attend funerals but they stay way from the body. I know a few people just like that. It's understable..you can still attend.
     

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