GUN Go read my zombie story

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Artyboy, Aug 10, 2006.

  1. Artyboy

    Artyboy Necessity is the excuse for every infringement of

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    I don't think many of the people here post in the sci-fi sub forums so I'm going to link it here. If you get time go read my story. If the first chapter or so doesn't hook you then I don't expect you to finish it. It's pretty fucking long now. It does get better as it goes and I tried to put lots of action in it. There's also a lot of gun stuff so I guess it could be appropriate for this forum :mamoru:. Anyway, check it out if you get a chance http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2704023
     
  2. jeepilot

    jeepilot Banned

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    while on the subject.

    i just attempted to watch a movie called "Zombiez"
    yeah worst movie i've ever seen. Literally, i turned it off in 10 minutes and didn't even finish it. Horrible version of a zombie.
     
  3. 7

    7 First comes smiles, then lies. Last is gunfire.

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    you spelled unbearable wrong :o

    and kel-tecs don't use clips
     
  4. Artyboy

    Artyboy Necessity is the excuse for every infringement of

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    :squint: It's a rough draft so it will have a spelling/grammar error or two. The clip comment was part of a character's dialogue. I did that on purpose to demonstrate her lack of firearms knowledge.
     
  5. Artyboy

    Artyboy Necessity is the excuse for every infringement of

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    A lot of zombie movies that I watch fall into the "absolutely horrible movie" category. It's the only genre that I'll allow myself to suffer through.
     
  6. Gimik

    Gimik New Member

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    I got it. Pretty good so far. Just got to the part where she said clips and came back here to post that.
     
  7. DaJMan

    DaJMan When i was young, i dreamed of being a baseball

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    im digging it, read the first three chapters pretty much...

    only suggestion is that the first time the word zombie is mentioned should be when eric and the guys get back from outside the house shoot mark and he has that little speach trying to sum up whats going on... you mention "zombie" once or twice before that i think, but i think you should refrain until that speach...

    if you know what i mean
     
  8. Gimik

    Gimik New Member

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    That's a good idea.
     
  9. Painkiller

    Painkiller Sometimes remembering is better than forgetting

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    My contribution:
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Gimik

    Gimik New Member

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    also, I like the whole "twice dead" description of the bodies, but you may want to hyphenate it to make it easier to read: twice-dead.

    Also, you switched from a blazer to a bronco in chapter 9.

    I'd also like a little more resistance to the idea of the people being "zombies" in the beginning.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2006
  11. ahead

    ahead New Member

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    read up to chapter 19 last night, would have kept going but it was past 3am and i had to be up in about 4 hours. that said, i liked it. one thing i that i liked allot was how most of their obstacles were not zombies but other people (humans) looking to survive.

    ill probably finish reading it tonight. thanks
     

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