FRK Give me your thoughts my Freaky ones

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by FairyTat, Mar 29, 2005.

  1. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    Give me your thoughts my Freaky ones - Springer bound or not?

    I'm about to post something I've written. It's not a story like in the past and it's not really freaky although it does have a lot of sexual content.

    It's about the major reason I've been absent from here and why the stories stopped coming. I expect to get flamed and that's fine. Posting this here puts it out in the world instead of just running around in my head. You can only stand so much and then you have to reach out to someone and tell them what's going on. I want to tell you all what's been going on.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2005
  2. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    I like to fuck. Plain and simple, I’m at my best when I’m at least semi-naked with some part of my anatomy pressed against someone else’s body. To me fuck covers a lot of ground. I don’t mean just having something inserted in my body. To me fuck is a universal word for all things sexual. Oral sex is fucking, hand-jobs are fucking. To me fuck means sex.

    I’ve fucked a lot of people. Not hundreds but more than my share I’m sure. First I was straight and then I was gay. Now I guess I’m bi if I have to be labeled. After struggling with that for years I guess I’ve come to realize that it’s more about individual people than gender.

    Women, for the most part, are beautiful creatures that you can stroke and caress to your hearts content. You can make them sigh, moan, even scream. They melt in your arms and mostly just want to be touched and licked until they have that one splendid orgasm and then you’re suppose to drift off to sleep together. I always get bored with them sexually. I can do the sweet easy kind of sex and sometimes and that’s great but for the most part I like to fuck. Most women are offended when you refer to it that way. “Let’s fuck” is not a great thing to say to the normal female. I know there are exceptions and more than a few of the ladies here qualify but I’ve rarely had the pleasure of that type of female in the real world.

    I had a girlfriend once “Penny” who was a perfect match for me sexually. She understood the concept of fuck. I was involved with her for about 3 years and there never was a time that I was around her that I didn’t think about sex. She wasn’t knockout gorgeous but she wasn’t bad. She had the best tits I’ve ever had the pleasure of handling and long thick blonde hair. She loved to ride my face, really grind her pussy against my chin while I sucked her clit. A couple of times she rode me so hard my jaw hurt for days. After those times I would chew gum and remember her taste while I savored the ache in my jaw. Sounds crazy I know, but for the entire time I was seeing her I thought about sex 24/7. It was like I was on fire.

    She liked to get on top of me and finger fuck me with one hand and choke me with the other. I can remember seeing a vein pulsing in her forehead and her growling at me “Cum Bitch!” as the orgasm and the faint hit at the same time. She had very precise timing and I never actually passed out but I did wear some bruises on my neck from time to time. It’s not something I really wanted to do and I don’t know that I would do it again if I had the chance but at the time I had some really great orgasms that way.

    She and I fucked everywhere and anywhere. Cars, parks, couches, swimming pools and once in my Mother’s living room floor. I kept my pussy completely shaved back then because that’s how she liked it. Shaved it everyday so I would be prepared if an opportunity arose for her to fuck me. I slept around with a couple of other women while we were seeing each other and so did she. We tried to live together twice and just couldn’t do it. She drank too much and smoked dope. I was too into my job and trying to build a life. She’s still the best female fuck I ever had.

    Men are different. With women you’re required to share some part of yourself in exchange for the fuck. Men don’t give a damn. They may care about you or they may even love you but you should never believe for an instant that the fuck has anything to do with that. The fuck is about the fuck. Even when the fuck is about the other things they have a hard time combining nice girls and girls they fuck in their minds.

    Men dream all of their lives about the cliché “Lady on the street and a whore in bed”. Here’s the funny thing, when presented with a woman who is actually like that they can’t handle it. I was raised in a big southern family. I know how to set a table and what all the forks are for. I can tell you what type of gift would be appropriate for what type of occasion and whether or not you should send out thank you cards. I will try my best to get along with your Mama and I will charm your Father. In essence I was raised to be a lady.

    The other side of me means that I have no problem whatsoever blowing you in the bathroom at a family function. If you request it and I can get away with it I will wear a dress with nothing on underneath and I will sit across from you to flash you while I cross and uncross my legs. All of this can and will be done while I tell your Aunt Daisy how much “I just loved your banana pudding! Can I have the recipe?”

    Now this should make a man happy. Everything you dream of right? Nope. They always end up thinking something is wrong with me. They begin to feel guilty or they begin to wonder who else I’m screwing because “no woman can be that hot all the time and not sleep around.” They’re wrong. As long as I’m getting what I need from the person in my life I will not and do not stray. This rule even applies to sex only partners. I make that clear up front. I don’t want to sleep with someone who’s fucking everyone.

    The man I’m seeing now is a puzzle to me. This is a man with all the good old fashioned southern charm that you can ask for. He has the voice, the manners and the background to makes you just wanna kiss his Mama for doing such a nice job. He’s tall and nice looking with a pleasing manner. If you don’t know what that is you aren’t southern and I can’t explain it.

    Sexually we are dynamite, at least from my point of view. Just like in the case of the girlfriend I mentioned above, his presence makes me hot. The sight of him makes me simultaneously tight in the chest and moist in the groin. Dammit, I never had the hots this bad for a man in my whole life. I just want to wallow in him. Every time I see him I want to just climb on top of him and lick him from head to toe. I have done that a time or two.

    It’s just sex. Not that we don’t even talk, we do, but it’s all about the fuck and I’m fine with that. I’m well aware that I could probably be happy with him and I’ve let him know that but I also know that he doesn’t want that. Rather than push an issue that will cause me to lose the fuck, I can overlook what I might feel and just enjoy the sex. He’s got the perfect combination of forcefulness and gentleness to make me quiver. He touches me everywhere while we fuck and he tells me how it feels. My pussy is hot and tight, he can feel me when I cum. I love to hear all that. I want to know I’m doing good. I love to suck his cock. It’s a perfect size for me. I swirl my tongue around the head while I stroke the shaft with my hands. I can feel him when he’s about to cum and it excites the hell out of me.

    He likes to finger fuck me with his big rough hands. His fingers are long and they get up inside and touch all the right spots. He likes to eat my pussy and I like to let him. He always pins my legs while his mouth works me over and the feeling of being pinned under him while his tongue and lips maul me is fucking hot. I haven’t counted but I know every time I see him I’ll cum at least 3 or 4 times. At least! That makes him a rare man and a great match for me. So I begin to think that maybe this is finally a man that I can be as sexual as I want with and he’ll still be interested in me in spite of the fuck.

    But then, because of some shit he has in his head about being hoodooed by women, he pulls away abruptly and I can’t even find him to fuck him. When that happens, I let him go. I don’t call his phone at all hours or drive by his house to see if he’s home. Don’t get me wrong, it pisses me off and I want to yell at him to make up his damn mind before he ruins everything. Then he’s back and he’s touching me and telling me he missed me and making excuses for the absence and I let him. How many times in your life do you meet someone that you crave? It’s pretty rare for me. What I really thought, due to some things that have been said and done, is he was struggling with his feelings/desire for me.

    Notice I said thought, keep reading.


    I have a friend that shares some of my issues. She’s my age (37) and she lives with a guy that she hasn’t been happy with in a long time. He’s no longer interested in the fuck due to some kind of medical issue. She told me a little while ago that she needed to get laid so I set her up on the website where I found the man friend I’ve been talking about. Since then she’s met a couple of guys on there and fucked around with one of them but he wasn’t what she wanted. I suggested that she try meeting some older men. My experience has taught me that in general they can be more experienced and more concerned with mutual enjoyment. They can also be more discrete. So she said she would try and off she went.

    I talked to her about a week ago and she wasn’t having any luck. Sometimes it takes time to find someone you feel an attraction to and lots of the people are fakes. I told her to keep trying. Go back thru some of the ones you never heard from and give them another try. It can’t hurt. She asked me for some names of guys I might have talked to or been attracted to so she can check them out. I told her that I wouldn’t do that. Whether or not I had anything to do with them shouldn’t influence her and for her to find her own men.

    My friend called me today to tell me that she took my advice and a man she had attempted to contact had responded. They’ve exchanged a few emails and he sent her some pictures. She said he was very attractive and she thought she might have a drink with him. I was happy for her and told her to go for it. She asked me to take a picture of her since I have a digital camera because he wants to see her before they meet. I told her no problem. As we’re about to hang up she asked if I wanted to see his pictures. Sure, send them to me at home and I’ll take a look later.

    As soon as I open the e-mail I see the very familiar face of my southern gentleman. I wish I could explain what that felt like. It was like being punched in the chest first, then for just a moment I was angry. After that moment I was sad. Why is it that the ones you feel like you could fuck forever always want to fuck somebody else? The upside is I know my friend will enjoy him. The downside is I guess I can’t anymore. Oh, I’m not going to say a word to my friend. That’s not her problem and if they hit it off then she should be able to enjoy him just as much as I have. If the tables were turned I would want her to do the same. When she’s done with him maybe I’ll tell her. Maybe.

    You might wonder about my reaction. You might be thinking that from some of the things I said that I have some genuine feelings for this man. You would be correct. I did and I do. You might wonder how I can just turn away from the situation without trying to stop what’s happening. Those of you who are wondering that have evidently never had your heart broke before. I have to turn away from the situation, I have no choice. There is no good outcome any other way.

    I can tell my friend and maybe she won’t see him but then I’ve just denied her what I know to be a great fuck and she’ll expect me to tell her about my relationship with him. I’m a very private person and whatever pain this causes me is mine to bear. I can confront him but I doubt he would really care so all I’ll be accomplishing is more frustration on my part and no matter what I do I can’t stop him and I can’t undo what’s happened. I wish he had done as I asked and told me when he was ready to move on. It also would have saved me the trip to the Doc that I now have to make since I no longer believe I was the only person he was having sex with. I knew I should have walked away from him for awhile now. I knew this would hurt when it ended and I had no illusions that it wouldn’t ever end. Everything ends.

    I can’t decide about him. I would like to say goodbye to him in some way that would let him know that I’m not angry and that I have a deep appreciation for the man he is under all that crap he shows the world. I would like him to know that not just my body will miss him. On the other hand I wish he would just disappear. No more calls and no more emails. I want to forget I know him so this will be over. This is why I’m not allowed to love. This is why I’ve been playing the stone bitch for years. This is why it was suppose to be all about the fuck.
     
  3. _syn

    _syn New Member

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    The first half was actually pretty hot, I started skipping around after that. Good luck and whatnot though. :dunno:
     
  4. Mutilus

    Mutilus New Member

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    Well although my opinion probably doesn't mean much. From the way you describe yourself, you sound like "the perfect woman" Able to function in society yet freaky in the bedroom. I don't understand why this man would stray. If I had a woman that was not a cold fish in bed and yet I would be proud to have on my arm when I visit Mom, I would treasure her. I was married for 13 years to a woman that was neither. She came from a low class family and had to be broken into the high brow atmosphere of my family. Yes it sounds harsh to say "broken in" but literally she fought me on it for years until she realized that we all put on the act for a time then lay back at other times.

    I still don't know if I ever really loved her. I mean she sat in the hospital with me as I died twice after being shot in combat. She cared for me on her free time and also found time to do her job in the military. I admired her for that. Even when we were first married she was a dynamo in bed, but then it all changed. When she had our first son, she got a few stretch marks, it didn't bother me. But in her vanity it effected how she reacted with me. Soon, we were pencilling in sex, and visiting my parents became a chore for her, even though I would put on aires and smiles for her parents. Toward teh end of our marriage she became mean. Then she dropped the bomb that she felt "We've grown apart." Which I still do not understand what that means. Anyway, my point is that as the relationship moves along men lose track. Maybe he believed that your relationship was truly based on the fuck as you put it. Maybe, he really didn't realize that even fuck buddies need exclusivity sometimes. Maybe he didn't realize that you started to feel more for him. I don't know if that is true, maybe the guy is just a dirty dog and gets his kicks nailing as many women as possible, I don't know him. But try talking it out is my suggestion.
     
  5. Acesn8s

    Acesn8s The Deadman's Hand

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    Some people can have the world and still want more. I can't explain it.

    The thing hat sticks in my head is STDs. It's obvious that this guy has a pattern. Is there any way you can caution your friend about being safe?
     
  6. roxtar

    roxtar New Member

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    Aww.. well *hug*.

    I wish I had half the willpower you seem to possess.. I agree with your belief that people are gonna do what they're gonna do and making things worse by all the hoop-la surrounding it is pointless.

    I do know that 'punch-in-the-gut' feeling.. it damn near sucks all of the air out of your body and you don't remember to breath until you realize that you need to. I'm rarely attracted to anyone.. let alone to actually crave someone. It's extremely hard to come by.. and once you've had it once and lost it, nothing seems to be able to fill the void and only leaves you feeling disappointed.

    The ones that seem so great.. always seem to be the bad ones in my experience. I'm very wary.

    But, nonetheless.. <3<3<3
     
  7. ~Mr.$M!kE~

    ~Mr.$M!kE~ Guest

    well.... you want some freaky shiaut here it goes.......I WANT TO FUCK JAILBAIL all day everyday.......
     
  8. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    Jailbail, huh? That truely IS freaky.
     
  9. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    Thanks for all the thoughts and suggestions. The situation is not up for resolution. I just needed to unload so I did it here. This has always been a great place for me to do that.
     
  10. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    Completely unrelated comment and I hope you'll forgive me for it, Fairy...but your user text "I'll only do it a little, I promise. Now lay down." made me blush. Thats what my bf says to me when we roleplay that I'm a virgin getting coaxed out of her panties. Verbatim. :naughty:
     
  11. roxtar

    roxtar New Member

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    I'm not sure why.. but I find that so hot. ^ lol :X
     
  12. Cherryfire

    Cherryfire "If we believe obsurdities, we shall commit atroci

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    Me too. ;)
     
  13. Mutilus

    Mutilus New Member

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    Yeah that is a pretty hot user text. It woudl be cool to be manipulated like that.
     
  14. Nikolette

    Nikolette New Member

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    wow, I know you probably don't care to hear this, but I read your entire post and thought it's amazing. You are a talented writer... its just a shame that this is actual stuff that bothers you as opposed to fiction you wrote.

    I just wanted to tell you that I think You are a strong woman to keep your relationship with this man hidden from your friend even though inside you may wish to be selfish and try to get him back for yourself. That was a selfless thing to do and a hard choice.

    I am like you, a lady and a freak, but it seems that you like to "fuck with no string attached" as a result of having your heart broken many times. IF this is the case, Im sorry to hear that. Pain molds us in very different ways and we guard ourselves to avoid it... so I can understand why initially you hoped to just fuck this guy and nothing more. My friend, you missed one important fact...as a woman, we are built to feel emotion in any action we contribute in... even if we convince ourselves not to. Whethere you just miss the fuck or miss him, somewhere deep inside you have an emotional attachement you developed for this guy that you may not admit but is the cause of why you miss him now, in addition to the lack of a "good fuck". Sorry to hear this, but don't worry..I am sure you can find someone like this again. Anyway this guy is psycho to stop being with you bc you do seem liek the "perfect" woman.

    I used to date an ass that took me for granted and now I'm with someone great but most men also don't understand how great and luck they are to have sucha freak and yet sucha lady. Im not southern, but believe me...I know exactly how you are raised and the type of lady you must be. Good luck and always feel free to vent your feeling here...that's what this forum is for!
     
  15. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    No forgiveness needed. Anything sexual is always related. You made me smile. :)
     
  16. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    Nikolette,

    Thank you for all the thought you put into your response. I appreciate your point of view and I agree with some of it. I do want to add to your comment "as a woman, we are built to feel emotion in any action we contribute in". This is a true comment and I agree but as women we also seem designed to take more pain and are expected to endure heartbreak after heartbreak and keep coming back for more. This is the thing I've strived to avoid and will continue to strive to avoid.

    For now I'll retreat and lick my wounds. I desire no physical contact, sexual or otherwise, with anyone. This is the only place I've revealed any of this and again I appreciate your comments.
     
  17. ~Mr.$M!kE~

    ~Mr.$M!kE~ Guest

    :hsugh:


































    :kdubb:
     
  18. BlondieAMC

    BlondieAMC New Member

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    :hug: :kiss: I do hope things get better for you! But i know it helps to get things out of your mind and onto 'paper'.
     
  19. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I feel for you FT. All I can say is that I hope you can work through it and eventually come back into the world full force like the freak you are :hs:
     
  20. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Wow. I know the exact feeling. I talked about it with my friends as well (which is why it was smart for you to come here) :)
    I hope you get through this, FT :kiss:
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2005
  21. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    I ended up leaving a voice mail for him telling him that I knew about he and my friend. I haven't heard from him at all. She called and told me that suddenly he's not responding to her emails and asked me what I thought. I told her that happens sometimes and to just move on. She said "What an ass, I thought we really made a connection". I'm glad he dropped her. I don't think I could have listened to the blow by blow she would have given me on their encounters.
     
  22. _syn

    _syn New Member

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    I can't help but imagine this on the Springer show...
     
  23. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    yeah, that would've gotten ugly. But congrats FT, I think you handled things well. And she doesn't need a skeeze like him anyway, good fuck or not.
     
  24. David02

    David02 Guest

    FT - It both saddens and angers me when I hear about situations like yours. It sounds like you are a great women with a lot of great things to offer across all ranges of the physical and emotional spectrums.

    People can be so deceptive and hurtful, and it is often the worst when it comes out in a relationship.

    Recently, at my job, we had an employee (who was very involved in many of our important projects) leave the company very suddenly. There had been problems with this employee in the past, but nobody ever truly realized how deep these problems were. This person was so deceitful, that they were able to completely cover up the fact that they had been bleeding the company dry by billing countless hours to large projects for work that was never completed. When this person suddenly left it all became very clear to the rest of us how truly dishonest this person was. Needless to say we were all left with piles of unfinished work to do, with no money left in the budget to do it all. The effects of this persons actions have rippled throughout the company.

    The reason I wrote all that is to illustrate the fact that when you place that trust in someone you always run the risk of being hurt. In your case its emotional and in mine financial. The more you put in... the more you run the risk of losing. And of course when you get hurt like that, it makes you overly cautious of anyone else who may enter your life in the future.

    Best of luck to you FT... it's a shame that things like this have to happen.
     
  25. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Hey! Can anyone say threesome? :3some:

    woo hoo!!!!

    Just kidding! I guess it's better that you find out now, then 2 kids and a home mortgage later
     

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