Girls With Boyfriends

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Two toys, Jun 11, 2006.

  1. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    Ever since I started dating I've always had girls who had boyfriends like me.
    Granted their relationships have been on the rocks most of the time, but none the less they at the time of talking to me have been taken.. I however have been a shitty dude and continued in the pursuit. Im not sure why it is, maybe in the hope that they will leave him, which never happens, and even if it did I wouldnt really want them anymore.

    I know I'm a shitty dude for helping these girls cheat, but honestly it is so hard to resist since it seems that these really are the ONLY girls that seem to be attracted to me.


    Im in a hard spot right now because I really really like this girl. I thought she had left her boyfriend, but found out a bout 2 days ago that she didnt. Their relationship has been off and on for 3 years, she finally was ready to break up with him for good but he appologized(apparently something he's never done before) and so she is still with him. We got along outstandingly as friends, I've known her for almost 3 years now, but were never close until a few weeks ago. I would have never expected this but, yesterday we went out to a museum/park and had probably one of the most amazing "dates" i've ever been on, she went to work but later that night we ended up hanging out at my best friends house, we kissed and cuddled all night. Now I don't know what to do. The last time this happened (different girl) I asked her to choose either me or her boyfriend, of course she chose him. I feel extremely guilty for what I did but don't regret it. She came onto me. i am so damn confused, i really hate this.
     
  2. ptwiggens

    ptwiggens New Member

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    Stop being close with her. If she can have you and your boyfriend at the same time, there is no reason for her to break up with him. Just tell her your not comfortable with what your doing, and you'd rather not help her cheat. Do not give her an ultimatum, make sure she knows your not telling her you guys can't hang out, just that you guys can't kiss and cuddle.
     
  3. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    well its not really a problem staying away from her, I live about 2 1/2 hours away. I'm not going to let this happen again if she isnt single, I will continue talking to her just the way its been up until now. We've never flirted we just get along tremendously well and compliment eachother. I think that I am what she wants but given the fact that its a 3 year relationship that she's on the verge of ending, do I become just the rebound guy? can I expect her not to want to be single?
     
  4. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    almost 100 views and 1 reply :(
     
  5. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    It's not your responsibility to make sure some random chick that wants to fuck stays true to her relationship. Because if it isn't you, she will find another guy.

    If she isnt one of your chick friends (you were friends before you hook up) then fuck it. You get the benefits to having a fuck buddy, but not the random bullshit that comes with a relationship. Besides, if you're just there to have fun, and she pursues you...nothing on your part is wrong. She's going to fuck someone, if it's you or not.
     
  6. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    1. Attractive women are rarely single. They 'boyfriend hop'
    2. Women who are rarely single usually get validation from their relationships instead of from within themselves
    3. Women who get validation from their relationships are not typically relationship material, relationship begins to bore them, return to 1
     
  7. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Remember: if she can betray him, she can betray you.

    Make them ditch their boyfriends first. If they won't, then they either don't dig you that much, or they have issues you don't want to deal with.





    Enabling a cheater is a shitty thing to do. Really. Don't reward that behavior.
     
  8. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    It's one thing if you want to date her, but if she just wants to fuck...then that is really not your problem. Enabling her? fuck that. She will do what she wants no matter what. If it isn't this guy, it will be someone else. Not like you are friends with the boyfriend anyway.
     
  9. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    umm actually if it wasnt me it wouldnt happened, did you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe someoen could be attracted to a person for who they are, not for the sex or physicality?
     
  10. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    If a girl is going to cheat on her boyfriend with someone else, chances are it's going to happen no matter who the guy is. I never said it would happen more than once.

    Now that I realize how old you are. Why the hell are you even looking for a serious relationship. And once again, you're not friends with the guy, she's coming onto you, so just let it happen. I am not saying that you should pursue the idea of having sex with her, but don't plan on making a relationship (especially a lasting one) with a girl that already has a SO.

    You're a 19 year old male, you're attracted to women that are good looking first and foremost, and second if they have a good personality. You can't deny this because it is human nature. We are attracted to people that are attractive to us. Do you walk up to a random ugly girl and say, "I bet you have a great personality, let's give it a try" NO!

    If you give her an ultimatum, she will probably neven speak to you again. Women like having options, no matter what their situation, and if you try to take the options away and make her choose, she will always choose the path of least resistance (not you).

    but PLEASE, do not try to give us this justification bullshit about "them being on the rocks". Because once you get down to it (in a completely good guy sort of way), you should be there for her as a friend to help her through her problems, instead of making yourself feel better about allowing her to cheat on her boyfriend.
     
  11. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    sigh.. when I was 19 I had no morals and few standards..
    standards:
    1. A hole
    2. A heartbeat
    why would you even care is she has a boyfriend.. it's not your problem. Why did you even ask? Whats the need to be in a solid relationship at your age? When it does happen, it will. Through trial and error, one day, you might find the women or guy that you are supposed to be with. Or you might discover that you are suposed to be alone.
    Let life flow.. work hard, play hard.. go forth!!
     
  12. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Then let her do it with someone else. Have some self-respect for God's sake.
     
  13. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    If I were your age, and so was he, then I would completely agree with you. But at 19 years old, theres NO need for any serious relationships. He needs to worry more about college than women.
     
  14. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

    Im not trying to justify anything to make myself feel better im gonna tell you how it is.

    what happened with us probably would have never happened witha nyone else, we seriously had a strange connection that we were both just overcome with. she wasnt actively persuing someone to cheat with, we hung out as friends, and because of this great connection we had together way way way beyond anything physical, and a situation we got ourselves into (having a sleepover our really good friends house), we ended up doing something we shouldnt have.

    The fact that Im 19 has nothing to do with what type of relationship I should want, life experiences should. I could sleep with and have slept with quite a few girls. I'm over that lifestyle, it really never was any fun, i was doing it to pass time until i found a girl i really enjoyed, and i realised that it was stupid.

    im 19, and yes when looking for girls, I do look for attractive ones, however like i said i've known this girl for 3 years, and had always thought she was cute, but never thought about anything with her. I was so extremely attracted to who she is beyond anything physical. This is the first girl that I felt like I could actually talk to about intelligent things and not have to dumb myself down.

    we talked about it on monday and it was painful but she's still with him, I dont blame her, 3 years of a relationship should overpower 1 day. She wanted to be friends, and at first I didnt, but really this ability to talk to her and the connection we have is so great i feel like i'm not missing anything by not having getting physical.

    im not justifying anything by saying their relationship was on the rocks, im not trying to look better, i'm a fucking shitbag and i admitted it. I was there as a friend to help her, I never foresaw this happening, I had talked to her plenty of times about him before we had that night, and always did my best to help her stay with him.
     
  15. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    what you may have may seem special to you guys.. not saying it isn't. But do you really think that this statement is true "what happened with us probably would have never happened witha nyone else, we seriously had a strange connection that we were both just overcome with."?

    Your age has alot to do with it..
    That is a fact, not a guess.
    But do what you feel and dont feel bad about any mistakes you make.. it's life.. your supposed to make mistakes..
     
  16. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    can't you see that age has nothing to do with how you should treat women. I went to business school for 2 years, decided it wasnt for me and decided to go after my real passion which is film. So I'm 4 months away from graduating the los angeles film school as a documentarian.

    sounds like you had nothing going for you at 19 therefor you think i shouldn't. I'm tired fo banging dumb girls, im ready to have something a bit more serious, whether it lasts is forever is not my concern, just that there is something amazing to share.
     
  17. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    \

    I've been in this situation before, the last time I really didnt give 2 shits, because in her case she didnt tell me she had a boyfriend, then when i found out after we dated a few times I didnt care and hooked up with her anyways, in her case if it wasnt me it would have been someone else. I didnt feel bad then.
     
  18. 127.0.0.1

    127.0.0.1 New Member

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    Unfortunatly, age ALWAYS has something to do with it when WE (im only 21 mind you) are in this range. I am just telling you from experience. Unfortunately, the exact same thing has happened to me. If what you two had was so special, she would break up with her boyfriend for you. End of story. Past this I don't even know why we're talking about it. But the subject has been brought up, and this is OT...

    I don't care what you've been doing. Unless you've done something substantial like graduate from Yale 2 years early...I am still going to group you in with every other 19 year old. Of COURSE your age has something to do with the relationship you want. You should NOT be looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with (or anything near that) before you have a clue what you're actually going to be doing two, three, or five years down the line. At least you're in school. This would be a completely different conversation if you had dropped out or something.

    I also never said you should just got fuck everything that moves. There are millions of women out there, and if you havnt had very good luck at finding smarter ones...look harder, because they are out there.

    This isn't going anywhere, stop talking to the chick, don't return her calls, don't hang out with her. You're going to get hurt if you hang out with her casually...because obviously you still feel something for her. Don't wait around for her to break up with her boyfriend so she can rebound fuck you either.

    Just enjoy the rest of film school, get a good job, and worry about women then. But for now, she is NOT what you want.
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    My take on the original post is simple:

    If you try to get with women who are taken it (1) shows you're backstabbing and probably a cheat and (2) are not as high-confidence as their current BF and (3) most women don't want that. They'd rather be with a mean/rude but truthful boyfriend who is a jerk that a manipulative, cunning, backstabbing guy.

    Be a great guy and you will attract great women. But you have to be WORTHY of them.
     

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