Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Dec 11, 2006.
Like a 22 year old dating a 38 year old...
Is it because they have daddy issues?
In my experience, yea, they've usually got some childhood issues.
I always had that hunch but one of my friends recently told me that her father was never open about how he loved her, but she always knew he really did, he just never said it/showed it/etc., and I also know from other conversations that when she was 23 she dated a 40 year old and when she was 25 she dated a 37 year old. She's also dated people her age.
When she was telling me about her father, it all clicked, but I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to go "ah ha, you DO have daddy issues."
So by dating the older man is that fulfilling the need for an older man's affection that she never got from her father?
Maybe in her case, sure. I don't think all girls who date older men are after a father figure though. Would you say the same about a guy dating older women? Are they looking for a maternal figure?
^ I was just thinking about that right as you posted. I could date an older chick if she was hot, but I think I'd draw the line at 35 on principle (I'm 25). I don't think I could take the relationship seriously, and I probably wouldn't respect her for dating me (even tho I am awesome, lol).
edit - when I get to be older (35-40), I could date and fvck younger girls (22-28), but I couldn't take the relationship seriously, and I wouldn't respect them for being with me, because I kind of think it's gross.
On that same note, if I'm dating a girl my age now and she told me her last bf was 40 I think it would gross me out and I would dump her. I'm not trying to be an ass or anything, it just fills my head with thoughts of "gross" and thoughts of "she has issues" and thoughts of "why would a 25 year old date a 40 year old?"
My opinion may change as I become older and wiser, however.
why wouldn't you respect her?
i see. have you dated older women?
(i edited my post and added more)
Because it's gross. I can't explain it other than thoughts of "because it's gross" keep filling my head.
On another level, I can't figure out what a 22 year old female and a 40 year old guy could have in common. Financially, mentally, life goals, being at the same place in life, same interests, nothing! The only thing is maybe sex, which furthers my "I wouldn't respect her" thought because I wouldn't respect a girl in a relationship only for sex.
A year or two older, but not like she's 40 and I'm 25. Again, I could see it working for sex, but not much else. It couldn't be a serious relationship and I wouldn't respect her for only being with me for sex. And then in a few years I'm 35 and she's 50? Uh, no.
gross? because of appearances? hmm, there are lots of older guys out there who look young and women too. umm, as far as the interests are concerned i'm sure you've heard the expression that women mature quicker than men do so they may be compatible on a mental level.
Not because of appearances.
I've heard that women mature faster than men (not sure if I agree), but there's just something about a 25 year old woman with a 40 year old man that grosses me out. The reverse grosses me out, too.
Aside from sex, I don't see what that type of relationship could be built upon.
Not really, guys and girls are "wired" differently
i dont think its always the case.
I'm 20 and most of the guys I date are in their mid to late twenties.
But I don't think, at least for me, it's a daddy complex. I have always had older people in my social circle and since I dropped out and have become a young professional, I frequent other young professionals, who are on average older than me.
Anyway, it's not girls who date other men who have a daddy complex -- it's ALL girls. We all want our daddy. And you guys all want your mommy.
IMO...women should date men that are older than them. Imagine that a couple is both 28 and she is ready to settle down but you are not. You have been dating this chick for the last 3 years...then suddly you say to her, "I'm sorry baby...I'm just not ready for that level of commitment". THE CHICK IS GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING CONNIPTION!!! You, the male, are not even in your prime yet. I say live it up...there is no rush for us guys.
No offence but that was probably the worst response in this thread because you are assuming that no 28 year old males are ready to "settle down."
yeah, well...that's why it's my opinion...more power to you if you're ready. There are no rules for living the proper life. Do whatever the hell you want.
for me, the reason I date older men is because most guys my age want to have kids. I don't want that and most older men have already had their kids and don't want anymore. I also find the "silver fox" look attractive
BTW, I don't have any "daddy issues"
Personally I've never dated a guy more then 5yrs older then myself. But my best friend whose 21 is seeing a 38yr old. I told her she has daddy syndrome and she laughed at me....she claims the sex is great. But like another poster said, she too doesnt want kids. So maybe thats it. I dunno
when I was 19 I dated a 30 yr old man (who happened to be my high school teacher/coach just two years earlier)
i don't think i had daddy issues when i dated him. i cared for him a lot and i kind of wish i was still with him a bit, but what's done is done
it can be the 'daddy' issue for some...but not for all
History tends to repeat itself in more ways than one......
It seems that with all the child molesting lynching going on in America that it's seen as a "bad" thing to have an older guy with a younger gal.
As long as both are of legal age, it shouldn't matter.
People shouldn't be too quick to pass judgement.
Personally, I think it's weird for a guy to be with an older woman. Sorta like finding a mommy figure. One might think that is worse since he is less of a man.
Women mature faster than men - mentally.
By the time they are both 70 years old, she's got 10 years over him mentally.
WIth that in mind, it seems to make more sense to me to have the older guy and younger girl.
I have seen my friends marriages and relationship fail more often with older women.
No, it's because older men are sexy as hell, they have experience enough to not be immature gits, they tend to have a sense of style and chivalry, enough money to not worry about what they spend on having a good time, duration enough to keep pace with women, lack the need to be center of attention, appreciate that they are getting some, appreciate the dance of mental stimulation and the double entendre, experience enough to realize that what's inside is sexier than what is outside, that the mind is the sexiest part of a person, a wider array of life experience that is interesting to talk about....
Oh I could just keep going....
I don't agree with the statement in bold. By the time they're 70, and probably way before that, the couple will be on the same maturity level. Just because a womans brain fully develops faster than the male brain doesn't mean that she'll have "extra maturity".
I think this sums it up.
I'm 37, and my fiancee is - gasp - 24! (When I met her, I was 34 and she was 21.)
You all should be so lucky. We are a perfect couple in nearly every way. Neither of us have been happier. I absolutely agree with everything Sionell89 said, and more.
Until you guys hit 35+ years old, you really don't have a clue what you're talking about. I sure as shit didn't, but age has made me a lot more wise.
keep going bro