Girls that have been treated like shit: Is there any changing them?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StopDrop&LOL, Jan 18, 2006.

  1. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    Lets say a girl gets out of a bad relationship where shes been treated like crap so to speak. Do you think she will be attracted to the same type of man since thats the only kind of relationship she has experienced? Im just wondering how she would handle a nice guy who did all the nice stuff/anything she wanted? Do you think she would take advantage of him, since thats not whats shes use to?

    Kinda on a rant, but i hope you guys understand what im getting at.
     
  2. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    How long ago did she get out of the relationship? Dont do wat I did and go and do all of the nice things and "fix" her emotionally only to get dumped once she feels good again. If it's recent id honestly stay away. Dont try to be the hero, it will be up to her to decide if she wants something better or to continue being with dipshits, and also let her know if she makes the decision on her on to stay with/get with a new asshole you DONT want to hear her fucking complain about it, SHE made that decision YOU didnt.
     
  3. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    No, im just talking about girls in general, not a specific one.
     
  4. LS Boy

    LS Boy OT Supporter

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    my last gf who i found out that cheated on me last week..... came from a 3-4years ABUSIVE relationship.

    from what "she" told me...she was a really clingy girl (which i like) before and likes to do alot with her exbf.

    but her exbf use to hit her, verbally abuse, and her ex had a drug problems....

    then she couldnt handle it anymore and broke up with him (they lived together for 2years too). broke up.....10months later thats when i met her.

    she changed and NOTHING LIKE HOW SHE WAS BEFORE. she wasnt clingy at all, and doesnt even wanna spend that much time with me coz she dont wanna ruin it all. and she become a bitch and self centereed. she become VERY INDEPENDENT, etc..... she didnt wanna hold my hands in public, she dont go out as much in a sweet place....pretty much she was a sweet girl---then BECOME sour.

    so yea, she changed 180degrees.
     
  5. rachem

    rachem New Member

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    it depends on the reason she went into the bad relationship, sometimes you just get into a crappy relationship because you have low self esteem at the time, or you are feeling depressed, lonely, or whatever it is that allows you to put up with the bullshit. once whatever it is pulls you out of it (through medication, or just a lifestyle change), its easy to surround yourself with good people.

    It's harder if it's something like from your childhood. but still able to change. Stuff like being used to getting hit or talked down to by the father and other men growing up just makes it harder. but not everyone imitates childhood experiences. but when they do, it's hard to get over.

    If you get a girl who was treated poorly, one big thing you will notice is that it's really easy to take advantage of her. she won't accept even the smallest favor, or if you ever do it for her, she will be trying to thank you every way she can. if you want to help her, you've got to try to see that the way you are treating her is deserved, because that is how you treat the people you love. It's not always easy though because you are convincing the girl NOT to practically kiss your feet. heh.
     
  6. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: that'll likely fuck her up even worse.
     
  7. StopDrop&LOL

    StopDrop&LOL "Where The Elite Become Champions"

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    I just didnt konw how most girls react after getting out of a bad relationship than going into one where they guys the total opposite.
     
  8. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    I think it could take a while for her to come around. You never know, though, but pattern behavior is called that for a reason. We do what we know until we know better.
     
  9. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    One word: Challenge

    Think of it this way - women like that need a LOT of excitement and drama to keep them entertained. Sure, abuse is not needed, but you have to keep them on their toes. In my opinion, the only way to do it would be to act abusive, such as ignoring her, spending time with other women, getting pissed that she did not clean the house, whatever. I'm not that kind of guy, personally, but what is really going on is that she has a very high need for a challenge - she needs to be mentally stimulated a lot so she always has something to think about.

    If you are nice, kiss ass, holding hands and all that BS she will do something to cause problems. Like not holding your hands, with the hopes that you will get upset which will be *entertainment* for her.

    Not worth the trouble, in my opinion.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    PocoDiablo is right on as always.

    In my opinion, there is no changing them in the long term. Women that have been in several abusive relationships are obviously attracted to that in some way.

    I reject the notion of the woman as victim in these cases. Each one of us makes our own choices in life and only we are responsible for whatever situation we find ourselves in each day. Whether she admits it or not, she has needs that are being fulfilled in an abusive relationship. And a woman who has been in several is choosing to be abused.
     
  11. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Don't be overly nice and do everything for her and buy her stuff all the time. Treat her like a friend and just have fun with her, tease her and joke around with her. Don't shower her with affection and try to make her see how "great" you are, it will just scare her away. Once she's gotten to know you and sees that you aren't like him then you can start to throw in some of the nicer stuff once in awhile. The idea is not to overwhelm her because at first she will think you are acting really nice just to get in her pants or use her.
     
  12. chiisu

    chiisu New Member

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    Omg, that's exactly what happened to me! :wtc:
     

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