Girls: Cheating Question

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Yuppy, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    I know many of you upstanding ladies would never cheat on someone. However I am also positive many of you have cheated on someone too. So, to settle a question as to motive and to venture into the ever complex thought process of women, I would love to know WHY you cheated. How did you feel about your boyfriend at the time? Had he done something wrong? Had he cheated on you? Or just been too busy for you? Did you no longer respect him? Or was it just not that serious in your mind?

    I also would like to know the who/How/where/when/what he was doing at the time about the cheating escapade.

    Obviously each one of you snowflakes is different so hopefully this gets interesting.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    This thread has been done so many times. Good luck finding girls who will admit they cheated.
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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  4. Barbie™

    Barbie™ New Member

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    I honestly have never done it.

    My first relationship I was ever in, he did it to me and it really made me hate men for a while.

    After that period of time, I vowed that i'd never do that to anyone... regardless. I think it's wrong, and no matter how much of a scumbag he is... no one deserves that :(
     
  5. mindro09

    mindro09 I don't like to beg, just give it to me!

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    I couldnt agree more with you. Men or Women no one deserves to go through that pain.
     
  6. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    the number one reason cheat is because they arn't getting something they need. I honestly believe that. They simply don't crave variety in the same way men do. They might stray for a man who is significantly more "attractive" then their SO but its not like a man who is born to pursue every attractive female he can.

    im not absolving cheaters of any guilt, just stating the facts. I never made any assertion about how reasonable, likely, or possible a girls "needs" are.
     
  7. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    k, so we're being honest here... looking back, one incident sticks out in my memory. I don't who's definition of 'cheating' we're going by, but I will say that it was something that just doesn't sit right to me.

    I'd been with my boyfriend since about Aug of 06... we'd broken up a total of 4 times by march because of lifestyle choices he kept making (my bad for taking him back 4 times, but we did really care for each other). So it was march, he was in Atlanta and I was in Valdosta for college (4 hours apart). I had last seen him for Valentine's day because he drove down and surprised me (this is when we got back together again).

    I went out to a local bar with about 10 of my friends, and 10 others from out of town visiting a friend of mine. I noticed about three of the guys from out of town were insanely cute, but two of them turned out to be complete dumbasses. The third one was really cool, and we struck up conversation before we got to the bar, that continued once we were there. I told him right off hand that my bf and I had just gotten back together and were trying to make it work AGAIN.

    We all started drinking and dancing, and drinking some more... and in the middle of a song dancing with the guy, he kissed me... open mouth, tongue, the whole nine yards. It wasn't long enough for any of my friends or the people around us to see, but it happened. I pulled away, but I have to admit that I liked it and part of me wanted it to happen. Afterward he could tell that I was upset and he brought me outside where I cried and said I was sorry but that I shouldn't have done that and that I needed to go home.

    I went back to my dorm and called my bf about a million times with no answer. The next day he called me back and informed me that he'd been arrested for DUI that night and was in jail when I called. I broke up with him on the spot. I knew that I was severely unhappy if I would let myself kiss another man, and I just couldn't handle all the pressure of long distance + his fucking up all the time and getting into trouble.

    I debated with myself for the longest time if I should tell him about the kiss, but in the end I didn't. Our relationship was over and I felt like I had no right to bring more pain into the situation.

    That's my cheating story. I feel bad about it still today, because I've always thought that if you didn't love someone enough to be faithful, then you just shouldn't be with them at all... but it happened and it taught me a lesson I guess.
     
  8. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I've never cheated.

    Have I thought about it?....yes.

    but in all honesty, I'd consider it a waste. I wouldn't want the guy I'm cheating on to think I'm some "whore" nor would I want to hurt my current partner.

    I'd rather break up with my current partner and then move on to the next John Doe.
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    This is the most interesting part of your post to me. It's called backwards-rationalizing and it's fascinating.
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    The closest I came was lying in bed half-naked next to some girl my friend had invited over while I was in my first LTR.

    She told me she thought I was hot. Even if I was single I wouldn't have gotten it anyway, back then.
     
  11. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    well it's true... how could i say that i was truly happy if i was willing to kiss another person? staying faithful to your SO should be easy... you should only ever want to be with that person... if you find it difficult then IMO that's not the guy that makes you truly happy and you shouldn't be with him.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    You could also be polyamorous :)
     
  13. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    I have an idea of backwards-rationalizing, but you can explain more and provide more examples?

    You should have told your bf you kissed another guy. I understand how you felt it would be bringing him more pain, but he deserved to know so not only he could have that thought involved in his healing process, but he could grow more as a person.

    At least, that's how I'd want it, anyway.
     
  14. fray

    fray New Member

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    .
     
  15. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i think the girls are downplaying the facts here.
     
  16. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    meaning?
     
  17. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i think that more have cheated than have admitted.. they prolly know someone in RL on the forum tho
     
  18. CaiWooBlue

    CaiWooBlue New Member

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    Sure I've had sex with someone other than my husband while married. By the traditional definition this is cheating.

    Considering it was an agreed upon threesome WITH my husband. By the views of my marriage it was not cheating.

    So who definition should I go by, when responding to this thread?

    Answers aren't always clearcut.
     
  19. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    see, this was my point earlier... IMO, cheating is anything physical with anyone other than your SO that you wouldn't want them doing without you there... or that you wouldn't do with them present.

    for instance, I don't see dancing/"bump n grind" as cheating, as long as that is the clear limit, and it doesn't make its way off the dancefloor... but I had an ex who was really, really passionate about thinking that was cheating, so in order to be with him, I had to completely shy away from dancing situations like that with anyone but him.

    so in my cheating situation, i didn't cross a line until he kissed me. but once that line was crossed i felt like total shit.
     
  20. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    My first LTR cheated on me - NUMEROUS times, even though I did not find out about most of them until after we broke up. I cheated on him for revenge. On the surface, I felt like I had spited him, hurt him, proved a point. On the inside, I felt really guilty and shitty. Since then I have not cheated on a SO. I've realized what it feels like to be cheated on, and no one deserves to go through that, shitty boyfriend, or not. Cheating sucks, cheating hurts. I taught myself a lesson..:hs:
     
  21. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

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    I have never cheated on anyone. Believe me or not, I haven't. I find that if I am unhappy enough with someone, I leave them before cheating would be considered an option.

    I don't cheat on the person I am with because I don't want to be cheated on. Treat others as you would have them treat you just seems logical to me. Just don't always expect others to live up to your expectations of common sense and decency because as we all know from the treads we see in here everyday...everyone has different ideas and morals.
     
  22. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i think that cheating is one of the most horrible things you can do to someone. it's the most blatant and hurtful betrayal of trust. why the fuck not just leave them if you want to hook up with someone else :hsughno:

    i've never cheated and i never will. i've also never been cheated on.
     
  23. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    OK.. so I have thought about it. Like semi-seriously. Why? It would be purely for the physical pleasure. :naughty:

    Why didn't I? Lots of reasons that start out with "I love my man too much to do that" and include things like STD's, guilt etc.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2007
  24. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you can also list the closest time you ever came to cheating, if you've never gone the whole 9 yards.
     
  25. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    I'm nursing wounds from my last GF.

    Still going through this phase that "women are sluts" attitude.....
     

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