Hey all, Okay, so two months ago my SO broke off a two year relationship. Basically because she doesn't want to be tied to one person, she wanted to do whatever without having to worry about me. It was very sudden, odd and on the phone, things were going fucking amazing up until that point. She normally didn't get along with my friends and right before she broke up with me, it was my birthday. She got along very well on my birthday with my friends, maybe that was a sign. So I told her I would get over her much more easily if we had NO conversation for like two months and then we could get together for dinner and figure out what the fuck went wrong so I could have closure. During those two months she kept contacting me and every single time I kept reminding her that, "it's more painful for me this way" or I just wouldn't respond to the texts or pick up the call. I even deleted her off facebook so if she went into a relationship I wouldn't have to see the "is in a relationship with" update thing. I just really wanted to get over her and move on. During those two months, school first took a bit of a dip and then got better like it hasn't been in the two years that I was dating her. I "found" myself again, I started writing again and I started reading again. I really felt like myself again, I started having a lot of friends, like I used to....etc. Life was going fucking amazing. I wasn't that happy since before I met her. I realized that no matter what, I can't get myself in a stupid fucking relationship like that again. So, a week and a half ago, I met this girl, a friend of a friend, (btw, I'm 20, my ex is 18, and this new girl is 21) and we were at a club so I couldn't really talk to her, but I ended up dancing with her and shit like that. She was with somebody (I later find out it's her "fuck buddy", they were never really in a relationship, just messed around and made out...etc.), so I kept my distance, although with alcohol I did end up kind of grinding against her. I'm never that bold. So, a few days after that we end up at the mutual friends house with a bunch of other friends playing video games (GTA4 ftw) and about two hours in, we go off to the other room and end up talking for a good 4-5 hours, and then we end up crashing at the friends house in the same room and during the night have sporadic conversation when we're both awake. In the morning I drive her home, some more conversation. We really click, we've been through similar shit, we've got very compatible personalities. So, on the car ride I invite her to my cousins birthday party that's going to be at my house, tell her it's going to be small, and whatever, mostly video games. So I pick her up the day for the party, and we all go see Iron Man first and later on we go to dinner, me being the fucking FOOL that I am, I drink a LOT at dinner, (Canada, legal drinking age 18!) we order two pitchers, and I'm the only one who really drinks beer. And I'm cheap, so the other two people who are drinking beer drink next to nothing, while I finish the rest and end up getting pretty drunk. Go back to my house, we're all just chillin, doing whatever, games, you know. I continue my drinking, because I'm a fucking retard. She gets tired and goes to sleep in my bed, I can't remember how it happened, but she somehow said I could sleep in the same bed as her. I'm like "hahaha", walk out of room, sit down go "what the fuck?" I'm a really conservative guy, I've only ever had 1 girlfriend, 1 kiss, 1 EVERYTHING, with the previous girl. I'm hammered by this point and sometime later on, I go to the bed and sleep beside her. She tells me she likes me, I can't respond for a good 20 seconds because the words won't come out right, and I tell her I like her too. I give her a hug. We end up groping... And although NOTHING happens, we do end up kind of making out and doing the whole dry humping, rubbing shit. Completely removing any innocence out of the word "hug". She's completely sober and tells me about her "fuck buddy". I of course, keep making out because I'm not thinking rationally. She's a virgin (I don't care) and by "fuck buddy" she means like making out, fooling around, I don't care or know what. So in the morning, I'm sober, but we still kind of fool around and then we sit and talk for like 3-4 hours. She says shes confused, doesn't know what she wants to do...etc. She has trust issues with males because of her father....etc. Completely understandable. I tell her, I want a relationship, and I only do serious relationships. To me relationships aren't about sex, it's about companionship. (I'm totally not a man, I know) So I'm like, whatever, I'll be her friend, back off a bit until she figures things out. Next day, the ex texts me, saying that she REALLY needs to talk. I'm like, okay whatever, I call her. She says that the next day is the exact two months and I said we'd have dinner. I tell her, that I realized that she was bad for me and I don't want anything to do with her. Before that she doesn't say it outright but from the way she said it "I broke up with you so you could find yourself, and now you have--"...etc. I figured she wanted to get back together with me, I'm like FUCK THAT. And end up being a dick and she gives me the voice-quiver / repressed cry voice towards the end and when we say goodbye. My friend who knows her well and she got along with the most says that she most likely wanted to get back together with me. Whatever, I wouldn't get back together with her anyway. Next day I go to the new girls place, again reinforcement that she's confused. I get along with her family VERY well (which is important to her). And then right before I'm about to leave, we have some conversation, and she tells me how she's going on a date with some girl (how she maybe thinks she's gay), reinforces that she doesn't want to be bound. Today, she texts me, we text back and forth. And then she finally texts me saying: "hahaha i just wanna make out with u n then talk to [you] about life while drinking chai n then go home n know i am still a free woman n i can do that again. Hahaha" I wouldn't mind if she got bored of me, and the relationship broke off, it'd be a learning experience, it'd be fun, whatever. But as long as it's a relationship, I don't want a friend with benefits. And before that she was like "we could have raunchy sex and my mom wouldn't mind, she loves you" type thing. So, I'm pretty sure I could have sex with her, and it'd be a notch in my belt type thing. But I'm not like that. FUCK! BITCHES BE CRAZY. So... I haven't responded to her, I'm tempted to just let go and just screw around with her, but my rational self is like... no fuck that. So... guys, what do you think? I'm young, I should let loose and fuck around? Or what. Cliffs -> Viz_Ru is not a Man, but a giant Vagina. Also a drunken retard. -> Bitches be crazy.