SRS Girls Are Crazy and I'm Stupid.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Viz_Ru, May 13, 2008.

  1. Viz_Ru

    Viz_Ru New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey all,

    Okay, so two months ago my SO broke off a two year relationship. Basically because she doesn't want to be tied to one person, she wanted to do whatever without having to worry about me.

    It was very sudden, odd and on the phone, things were going fucking amazing up until that point. She normally didn't get along with my friends and right before she broke up with me, it was my birthday. She got along very well on my birthday with my friends, maybe that was a sign.

    So I told her I would get over her much more easily if we had NO conversation for like two months and then we could get together for dinner and figure out what the fuck went wrong so I could have closure.

    During those two months she kept contacting me and every single time I kept reminding her that, "it's more painful for me this way" or I just wouldn't respond to the texts or pick up the call.

    I even deleted her off facebook so if she went into a relationship I wouldn't have to see the "is in a relationship with" update thing. I just really wanted to get over her and move on.

    During those two months, school first took a bit of a dip and then got better like it hasn't been in the two years that I was dating her. I "found" myself again, I started writing again and I started reading again. I really felt like myself again, I started having a lot of friends, like I used to....etc.

    Life was going fucking amazing. I wasn't that happy since before I met her. I realized that no matter what, I can't get myself in a stupid fucking relationship like that again.

    So, a week and a half ago, I met this girl, a friend of a friend, (btw, I'm 20, my ex is 18, and this new girl is 21) and we were at a club so I couldn't really talk to her, but I ended up dancing with her and shit like that. She was with somebody (I later find out it's her "fuck buddy", they were never really in a relationship, just messed around and made out...etc.), so I kept my distance, although with alcohol I did end up kind of grinding against her. I'm never that bold.

    So, a few days after that we end up at the mutual friends house with a bunch of other friends playing video games (GTA4 ftw) and about two hours in, we go off to the other room and end up talking for a good 4-5 hours, and then we end up crashing at the friends house in the same room and during the night have sporadic conversation when we're both awake. In the morning I drive her home, some more conversation. We really click, we've been through similar shit, we've got very compatible personalities.

    So, on the car ride I invite her to my cousins birthday party that's going to be at my house, tell her it's going to be small, and whatever, mostly video games.

    So I pick her up the day for the party, and we all go see Iron Man first and later on we go to dinner, me being the fucking FOOL that I am, I drink a LOT at dinner, (Canada, legal drinking age 18!) we order two pitchers, and I'm the only one who really drinks beer. And I'm cheap, so the other two people who are drinking beer drink next to nothing, while I finish the rest and end up getting pretty drunk.

    Go back to my house, we're all just chillin, doing whatever, games, you know. I continue my drinking, because I'm a fucking retard. She gets tired and goes to sleep in my bed, I can't remember how it happened, but she somehow said I could sleep in the same bed as her. I'm like "hahaha", walk out of room, sit down go "what the fuck?" I'm a really conservative guy, I've only ever had 1 girlfriend, 1 kiss, 1 EVERYTHING, with the previous girl. I'm hammered by this point and sometime later on, I go to the bed and sleep beside her.

    She tells me she likes me, I can't respond for a good 20 seconds because the words won't come out right, and I tell her I like her too. I give her a hug. We end up groping... And although NOTHING happens, we do end up kind of making out and doing the whole dry humping, rubbing shit. Completely removing any innocence out of the word "hug". She's completely sober and tells me about her "fuck buddy". I of course, keep making out because I'm not thinking rationally.

    She's a virgin (I don't care) and by "fuck buddy" she means like making out, fooling around, I don't care or know what.

    So in the morning, I'm sober, but we still kind of fool around and then we sit and talk for like 3-4 hours. She says shes confused, doesn't know what she wants to do...etc. She has trust issues with males because of her father....etc. Completely understandable. I tell her, I want a relationship, and I only do serious relationships. To me relationships aren't about sex, it's about companionship. (I'm totally not a man, I know)

    So I'm like, whatever, I'll be her friend, back off a bit until she figures things out.

    Next day, the ex texts me, saying that she REALLY needs to talk. I'm like, okay whatever, I call her. She says that the next day is the exact two months and I said we'd have dinner. I tell her, that I realized that she was bad for me and I don't want anything to do with her. Before that she doesn't say it outright but from the way she said it "I broke up with you so you could find yourself, and now you have--"...etc. I figured she wanted to get back together with me, I'm like FUCK THAT. And end up being a dick and she gives me the voice-quiver / repressed cry voice towards the end and when we say goodbye. My friend who knows her well and she got along with the most says that she most likely wanted to get back together with me.

    Whatever, I wouldn't get back together with her anyway.

    Next day I go to the new girls place, again reinforcement that she's confused. I get along with her family VERY well (which is important to her). And then right before I'm about to leave, we have some conversation, and she tells me how she's going on a date with some girl (how she maybe thinks she's gay), reinforces that she doesn't want to be bound.

    Today, she texts me, we text back and forth. And then she finally texts me saying: "hahaha i just wanna make out with u n then talk to [you] about life while drinking chai n then go home n know i am still a free woman n i can do that again. Hahaha"

    I wouldn't mind if she got bored of me, and the relationship broke off, it'd be a learning experience, it'd be fun, whatever. But as long as it's a relationship, I don't want a friend with benefits.

    And before that she was like "we could have raunchy sex and my mom wouldn't mind, she loves you" type thing. So, I'm pretty sure I could have sex with her, and it'd be a notch in my belt type thing. But I'm not like that. FUCK!

    BITCHES BE CRAZY.

    So... I haven't responded to her, I'm tempted to just let go and just screw around with her, but my rational self is like... no fuck that. So... guys, what do you think? I'm young, I should let loose and fuck around? Or what.

    Cliffs
    -> Viz_Ru is not a Man, but a giant Vagina. Also a drunken retard.
    -> Bitches be crazy.
     
  2. moss

    moss New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    850
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay
    dude don't meet girls at a club, a lot of them are some crazy ho'z
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Here is all that has to be said from that mess:

    1. Stop talking to your ex. You were finally moving in a positive direction without her in your life. She only wants you back because no one better has come into her life and she misses the attention from you now that it is gone. She's not in love with you; she's just 18, stupid, and needs validation from you. Continue to NOT talk to her or answer any of her calls and texts.

    2. New girl has a lot of issues, probably too many issues than someone of your limited relationship experience can handle. You should most likely let her go. She's not ready for a relationship with you (which is what you want) and she has trust issues with men to the point where she's convincing herself she is bi. More importantly she keeps flat out telling you she's not ready for a commitment, so move on!

    3. You keep saying you are against having a casual sexual relationship but then you contradict yourself saying you'd be "fine" if she basically just used you for a relationship that would obviously be sexual. In other words you would basically force her (and moreso yourself) into thinking you were in a relationship so you didn't feel guilty when you and her got it on. You are trying to convince yourself just because a new girl is in your life and you're not used to being single. Stay single. Experience being 20 years old with no ties. You have many years to try and settle down.
     
  4. Viz_Ru

    Viz_Ru New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    I lurk on this forum a lot, b/c of the break up, and consistently you give amazing advice.

    Thanks a lot. <3. Better advice than most of my friends. ("Bang her and move on!")

    I talked to my sister and realized a few things, of my limited experience with the opposite sex, (about six months before my ex, I just started figuring out how to actually be sociable and make myself look good) all the people I've interacted with have in some way or another insinuated they just want me for sex.

    When me and the SO broke up the first time (1 year ago, for about 1 month, I was VERY distraught and got back together with her, first break up, didn't know how to deal with it), I still talked to her, and we ended up having sex, or me eating her out or whatever and afterwards I'd feel very used and be an emo bitch.

    Or randomly some fucking chick would come up to me and insinuate that they wanted to suck me off or something. (Happened twice, once at the place I worked)

    Now this.

    Am I doing something wrong? I'm going to take your advice and stay single, because lol, mentally my options looked to me like:

    a) Mess around with Girl 2.
    b) Tell girl 2, no. And look for serious relationship.

    Just staying single sounds better than both of those.

    But just out of curiosity, wtf is wrong with me. I should have been born a horn dog.

    Btw thanks for the advice/comments so far.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Thanks :) I also give better advice than your friends because:
    1. I'm more experienced most likely
    2. I'm not thinking with a penis :mamoru:

    Most guys think the best way to get over someone or to move on is to fuck everything that moves, but from all that I've learned the most important time in your life to learn who you are and what you want is from age 18-25. A lot of people, like yourself, get into LTR in highschool that carry on into college. Once they break up they are lost. They've been Jack & Jane for so long they never learned who the fuck they are! The problem is instead of them taking the time to have fun and enjoy being single (which can be amazing) they don't know any better than being in a relationship so they jump right back into one and usually it's with someone they aren't even compatible with. In your case you're not compatible with this new girl. Yes, you've chatted for a few hours and have some things in common, but you are both very different in what you want and that will most likely never change, especially not any time soon (nor should you change in the first place). You have been making such great progress after your ex and you even recognize that!

    You're not doing anything wrong. Just because you have standards and don't want to have casual sexual flings does not make you "weird" or "not a man" or even "stupid." Everyone has standards and one day you will meet a girl who doesn't just want you for sex and she will be blown away that you have such high standards. It will make her feel special and that is rare.

    Stay single hun. Have fun! College is such an amazing time. Most people will tell you they wished they has been single throughout college because you get to do what you want and learn about yourself. Also, you might want to consider casual dating. This doesn't mean you have to sleep with anyone, but just going out on dates will help you learn how to talk to women.

    Stop talking to Girl 2 and your ex, you'll be much better off.
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    You seem to think that the only 2 options are either fuckbuddies or serious relationship and that's not how it works. You can date this girl, fool around, do all the couple shit but still be free to date other people too. There's nothing wrong with casually dating someone and it's not a slutty thing to do. You don't have to commit to every single girl that you have a mutual attraction to. It's much better to date around while you're young and get to know lots of different women and find out what you really want in a relationship.
     

Share This Page