Girls and their drastic changes

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tqpolo, Nov 26, 2007.

  1. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    So why do girls who were in a long-term relationship change so much after their breakups? Do they usually go back to being themselves after they got it out of their system or is that change is for good?
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    uhh, details? this definitely isn't true for everybody but if you tell us your specific case maybe we can give some answers :hsughno:
     
  3. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I think you're making a very large very broad statement... What do you mean change so much? In which way, you can't lump all women into one sentence.
    ALL people go through large changes after a break up, that's normal... Breaking complaisance and stagnation and catalyzing change in ones life.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i always get a hair cut after i break up w. a chick. just so that way i can go out and look GOOD!!
     
  5. curious_jane

    curious_jane New Member

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    In most of my cases, Ive changed alot simply as another way to forget the guy. drastic changes to appearance for example, make me look hot for the new one and help in shedding the crap from the old. its simply a mechanism to get past the relationship.
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Yail would jump in here and say that it's because women are reactive creatures and they come into the guy's world and adapt to that world. When that world is gone, they back to their true selves or adapt to another guy's world.

    I don't know if I believe that, but Pook also said it (sort of). I can kinda believe it I suppose.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    he probably means chicks going out and whoring it up after a breakup to validate themselves.

    he may mean making significant life changes based on lessons learned from a failed relationship.

    do chicks even do that (the second one)?
     
  8. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    Dude, you have a LONG way to go. Women are VERY FUCKING MALLEABLE and if you're not experiencing that in your interactions with women then you are doing it wrong
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'm gonna go ahead and agree with ware_ru on this one (not like I don't agree with him on most things, unless he's shit talking me in which case he's wrong :rofl: )

    For real tho, this is just another reason why as a MAN you need to take on the natural role as LEADER.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    In fact that was something I needed to read right now. I had never actually conceptualized that thought directly before. :h5: @ ware_ru
     
  11. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    glad to help man. it's fundamental stuff dude. once a girl is attracted to you she will act in any way to please you, just like most guys will lie through their teeth to get a girl to like them. so, among other things, you can take advantage of that through cold reads that benefit you, through sexual (and other types) of framing, etc... "you're very classy, i like that" to get her to try to ACT in a classier manner and less shit-testy, bitchy, etc. (credit mystery)

    its also the reason that it's very hard to tell what a girl is TRULY like for a while, if you run your pickup correctly. If she gets the notion, for example, that you don't like a girl that parties a lot, and she is attracted to you, she will say "noooo i party oncein a while but i never get really drunk or anything, i think those kinds of girls are so stupid.." So it's a double edged sword
     
  12. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    In my experience, girls are "malleable" until they think they have you "hooked" and then they go back to being their real selves.

    The "malleability" of girls is a female seduction technique, I've concluded. Hence the reason why when guys get married they scratch their heads wondering why she's "changed so much".
     
  13. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    they think they have you hooked = the guy becomes needy, and the girl loses attraction. yes, the girl is no longer malleable once she loses attraction to the guy. Compliance is directly related to attraction.

    married guys scratch their heads wondering why she's "changed so much" because they lose grip of their balls, start letting the woman drive the relationship and make decisions (even 50/50 leadership in the relationship is not a proper ratio; the man is the leader, PERIOD.), and in general lose sight of what it means to be the man and a man
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    For once I kind of agree with you about the WHY.

    As for leading the relationship...I have to ask how you define that. I agree that a man should lead the relationship, but he also shouldn't "lord" over it either.
     
  15. Rich

    Rich New Member

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    I find that they become sluts. They were tied down before, now they just want to bang as many black guys as they can without commitment.
     
  16. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    in general he is the one responsible for making the decisions, decides what's best for the couple, deciding where/when to go on dates, etc...... i mean it's hard to give a precise definition because it's like saying what does it mean to be a leader without being a dictator. of course he listens to the woman and the man is obviously fallible, but he doesn't have conversations like "baby, i dunno where we should go eat. where do YOU want to go eat? no i don't know where i want to eat, you make the decision." my guess is still though that all of the guys on here (probably including you. i even notice it in myself - once i start to like a girl, i actually start making certain decisions through the lens of whether she will like it or not, instead of "this is what i want, and she will like it because she is WITH ME" - and that's not like some weird rhetorical affirmation bullshit, that is in fact the case; the girl doesn't care what you're doing, so long as she is with YOU she will be happy; so make decisions based mostly on what YOU want and then drag her ass [physically if you have to] along) aren't leading enough and don't have enough of a pimp hand. you can make ALL the decisions in the relationship if you want, and there's no problem with that, given that the girl is happy through it
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2007
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    a+ post, would read again
     
  18. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    [​IMG] @ replies
     
  19. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    A breakup can entail a lot of environmental changes. It may also be an opportunity to do things she had been wanting to do, but held off while in a relationship.
    (i'm going to assume you mean the stereo-typical whoring-around-period a lot of people go through right after a breakup)
     
  20. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    All the posts gave great advices. I guess I'll be more specific for my topic. Basically I was with my ex for 6 yrs. She was a great girl, good in school, hard worker, go out moderately. Two weeks after the breakup, she slept with someone else. She beginning to drop all her classes and basically no have no school. She barely goes to work, party 3-4 times a week. Times go by she started to lie through her teeth and she is the most honest person I know. She's now with a guy that's all about partying and doing drugs. She now stated to do drugs when she vowed to hated that for years. (I did it in our relationship and it was a big problem for a long time.) It's not just behavior changes but also her personality. She was a sweet girl that everyone likes, now she constantly putting people down and talk very negative. She was such a happy person when we were together, now she always complaint how unhappy she is about her life.

    I think she has fallen down a path and wo'nt ever return to herself. For someone I have loved for so long, it just break my heart seeing how much she changed for the worse.
     
  21. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    true dat.

    but they claim they are not at all.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  23. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I'm sorry you have to watch that. :hs: I had an ex who just fell apart like that after we broke up, it was awful to watch. If you dated for that long, and you are both young, you probably dated during some of her key developmental years (outlook, philosophy, etc) a relationship that long during such key years can become a huge part of a persons identity. By way of breaking up, you've taken a large part of her identity away from her, and she's looking to redefine it, she's also, in a weird way, rebelling against you, and trying to prove to herself that she doesn't need you.
     
  24. Raggity Man

    Raggity Man Lets share the milk of human kindness

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    my ex did the same thing, minus the drugs. whored it up making out with as many guys as she can in the bar, and would lie constantly to me. then started fooling around with a kid almost 6 years younger than her (she is 24 he is 19) im assuming for validation and an ego boost. This kid was also dating someone when she was fooling around with him, and she was well aware of it too. She goes to the bar and drinks till she blacks out, drinks during the week (she has a full time job), and blows her money on alot of shit she doesnt need. basically cant afford all that with her living situation and income. i kept her in check when we were dating when it came to money but now she just spends and spends and knows daddy will be there to help out if needed. i confronted her about her behavior and she just blew it off saying work was stressing her out and this is how she deals with it :ugh2: i hate to see her being a totally different person, but not talking to her and having to deal with that has been the best thing i have ever done.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. That doesn't happen to everyone.
    2. You were with her for 6 years. That is a long time. People change and grow in different ways within 6 years.
    3. It's very common when someone was in a very long term relationship for them to act completely different once they are out of a routine.

    I can understand that you care about her and wish she was the woman you fell in love with...but at the same time you need to move on. You are no longer together and in a way she is going to have to learn for herself that she has changed for the worse. It's not your place to say anything, and anyhow she will most likely not listen or care anyhow.
     

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