SRS girlfriend's past feels like it will jeopardize our future?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by richiespice, Apr 25, 2007.

  1. richiespice

    richiespice New Member

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    So I'm 21 and my gf is 20 and we go to the same university and have been together for over a year and half but what I am afraid is going to ruin our relationship is the fact that I can't get over the fact that she has had sex with 16 guys. What is more is that probably half of them were at least 5 years older than her and I think that is disgusting. I know it's immature and selfish but I just cannot let it go. She has had sex that I would consider is disrespectful to herself and she only did it because it made her feel good about how she looks (she is 5 pounds overweight and super self concious about it). I've read in a few other forums about people with the same problem and everyone says get over it or that they control whether or not they think about it. I think thats what I ultimately want to do but it is really hard for me. I love her and think she is a great person and she loves me too but I just think that it's constantly making me doubt our relationship or that I am just another fuck for her. And since it has been so long I know it's more than that but I can't help but think that it's just trivial and that given what she's done in the past that she'd do it again. Someone just please help me because I feel really violent when I think about her with other guys. Thank you
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    :ugh: get off your high horse and just get over it people go thru phases like that doesnt mean they cant grow out of it when they meet the right person. That type of thing never bothered me the past is the past.
     
  3. upparoom

    upparoom Well-Known Member

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    christ.. 16 guys?

    seriously man, if you havent dated that long, move on.

    theres no respecting someone like that.

    every time you see some dude looking at her, youre gonna wonder if he's fucked her.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Her history sounds entirely normal. It's not great, but it's not a huge problem either.
    The problem is yours because she is who and what she is. There is no going back and erasing the past.


    If you feel it will or is jeopardizing your future with her, well that's entirely up to you.

    Personally, I think you should break up with her.

    You really sound like you're not ready for this or any relationship -- and I mean that with absolutely no disrespect towards you.
     
  5. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    All your doing is trying to find something wrong with this person. That's all your doing I think.

    If you love her like you say you do then you will get over this.

    She was going through a phase. She can't change her past and that's that.

    Maybe she is pissed at herself for it, maybe she's not.

    Oh well not your place to be like your a whore.

    Some people have been with more then that and their SO doesn't even care.

    Just relax, calm, and get over it.

    Nothing to worry about.

    If you can't get over this then stop this relationship right now so it doesn;t make it harder in the long run!
     
  6. CastorTroy

    CastorTroy New Member

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    If it bothers you that bad, and you think it'll jeapordize your entire future together, then it probably will since you're letting it. You need to either let it go and be a part of her present and future, or let her past fester within you until you break. Theres nothing you can do to change the past, so your options are limited here.
     
  7. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    If you were just another fuck you wouldn't be kept around this long. It's her life, if she is disease free then who really cares and stop making yourself think about it.
     
  8. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    The only times your girlfriend's past should be considered a factor putting your future in jeopardy is if she committed a crime, has a shitload of debt, has a life-threatening or otherwise dangerous STD, or has a kid. Otherwise who cares, really? As long as she's clean and comming home to you at night, it doesn't matter how many dicks were in her before yours.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I would not date a 20 year old who has been with 16 guys.

    It says a lot about her personality.

    If sex is something you consider "special," it will bother you because she does it with lots of people with whom she has no special connection. Therefore, she will be special to you, but you will be "just another guy" to her. If both people share this mindset, then there's no problem. But when only one person does, it is a huge issue.
     
  10. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    I forgot everyone on OT bangs virgin supermodels :hsugh: If a guy banged 16 girls by the time he was 20 he'd be an idol.
     
  11. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    Some people cannot handle the truth.
     
  12. Smutty

    Smutty OT Supporter

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    This seems to be a trend on OT. Seriously, put yourself in her shoes. If you had the chance to be with 16 girls you were attracted enough to have sex with, would you not do it? It's just easier for girls to get laid. Period.
     
  13. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    please tell me this is a hyperbolic extension of the op's post, and you intend it to be sarcasm.
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Not to me. I'd consider him a whore and I wouldn't want to date him.

    To the threadstarter-why has it taken 1.5 years for this to be an issue? If you care about how many people she has slept with then you should have found out at the beginning and ended things then. There is nothing wrong with being bothered by your gf whoring around. But to date her for 1.5 years and now start worrying about it isn't right. Your only choices now are to accept her past or break up with her. It's not wrong to break up with her if you can't deal with it, you are the one that will have to live with that the rest of your life.

    Also has she gotten counseling to deal with her insecurities? It's pretty common for insecure girls to sleep around to feel better about themselves. If she hasn't gotten treatment then there's a good chance she'd do it again. Those type of chicks will be the ones to run to another man as soon as they feel they aren't getting enough attention in the relationship.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    insecure guys ftl
     
  16. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    I couldn;t date her, it says alot about her imo

    The girl doesnt have to be a virgin... but fuck, 16 guys?
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Women love and want sex as much or more than you do.

    Why is having sex with a man 5 years older than her "disgusting?"

    Not every "older guy" is like an old man.

    I wait tables, and an 18 year-old girl left me her number last night. I'm 31. If you saw us together you wouldn't be disgusted.

    As a woman, she isn't going to think and react to situations like you would. So don't expect her to.

    Lastly, young girls who are sexually active often find that guys their own age can't please them, while older guys with experience can.

    I guess she is one of the few girls who doesn't know she's not supposed to divulge her "real" number to you :)
     
  18. Cutz_Paper

    Cutz_Paper New Member

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    my ex had sex with 9 guys before me, 5 of which were the month before she met me :ugh2: she also had a threesome with two dudes...

    She broke up with her ex and they were still seeing each for a while and then he stopped talking to her and she fell apart. I tried to understand and it took me a while to get over it, and ultimately it affected our relationship but we dated for over a year.

    we broke up 4 months ago and she's doing it again. I refuse to speak to her now because of her recklous attitude on having sex with random people. I know of three guys so far in the last three months, but I'm sure there has been more... she actually called me recently and told me she had sex with some ugly the night before and I haven't talked to her since. I wish I could just forget about her.
     
  19. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    while i somewhat agree. 16 at the age of 20 is a bit over the top. it has nothing to do with being an insecure guy, IMO. that's just a matter of having some self respect and standards.
     
  20. lycorisdew

    lycorisdew New Member

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    history is history man. having a problem with her is like fucking over ex-cons, maybe she's trying to change? and if you're just another fuck, you'll know. since you posed it as a question, i don't think you are.
     

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