SRS girlfriend's mom is an alcoholic...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tehexile, Apr 7, 2006.

  1. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    so yea, her mom has been an alcoholic for a long time now, all through her growing up. it has really effected her alot, and lately its been getting pretty bad. she is trying to just let go of not her mom, but her moms problems, and it is making her feel really bad. last night we were on a double date thing, and her mom called her all drunk saying to be home at 1030 which kinda ruined her good mood. she went home, but before that we had a little talk. she knew that i was gonna go out and get drunk with some friends, and told me how that scared her (i have a history of alcoholism in my family). said how she didnt want to eventually fall in love with me, and me become an alcoholic, and be the third person in her life that she loves that is an addict.

    so i thought to myself for a bit about that, and decided to call her back, to find out if she was ok with her mom when she got home (she was) and to tell her: "i really care about you, and i dont want to put you in a potentially bad situation, so im not going to drink tonight" shes like 'no no its fine" but i was resiliant and told her that i really do care about her, and i really dont want to do that, so im not going to do it... she said sometihng like "so what you're never going to drink" and i told her that i wouldnt drink when she wasnt there, which i think made her feel a little better.

    so she goes to school today (im on break) and leaves me a nice message on my cell this morning, so i thought everything was ok. she calls me after school, we talk a bit, she sounds a little bleh, so i ask her if shes ok. aparantly her mother had left a fucked up message on her phone saying how she had to get a ride from me to work today, im not sure what it really said, but it really bothered her. so i called into my work which starts at 4, told them i couldnt be in till 5 so i could help her out a bit before her work starts at 430.

    so i really dont know what to do. i really care about this girl, and it kills me to see her so upset over this. she has had a very rough few years, including some relationships, cutting herself, suicidal thoughts, and almost planning a double suicide with her last boyfriend. i dont know what to do, shes just such an amazing person despite her problems, and i really want to help her
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    She seems to have a lot of bad karma haunting her when it comes to Being involved into addicts, cutting and other problems as you above mentioned.

    What you have to do is to 'not involve yourself with alcohol' for the rest of your life, and drag her into an enviroment in which she is loved, helped and cared for. Your gf you know, she is a wonderfull person but she can't express her problems and how it effect her to anyone, a bf is a support point on which she wants to lean on. So far she only has gotten crap from all of her previous relationships, the question is? Are you going to be the same? This is where you have to make a difference and say' i quit alcohol' just to make her happy, and that's a sacrifice from your part, but i can assure you that elsewhise she won't be happy, this takes 'insightfull perception' from your side to understand this, namely understanding this = Alcohol ruins more then you love.

    I assure you that you will lose her if you go into the whole alcohol thing, her mother needs to go into rehab, and what YOU most of all must NOT do is to 'underestimate' this situation. Eh , you know usually its normal for people to enjoy but to drink with measure. this point of drawing a line is completely absent for her mother, and (your family members (x) you fill in name here) And since you are at risk, because it already runs in the family, i assure you 100% that (even tho its hard as you can imagine) to drop the whole alcohol completely, look at this.

    Its completely logical.

    Alcohol = cause of problems.
    No more Alcohol = no more problems.

    If you make the choice ' STOP, till here no further' and drop the alcohol from your life, you will drop the problems that come with it.

    What you gain is that you save your own life, and your gf's sanity, and will be able to pursuede (or hammer on) her mother to go into rehab.

    It sounds corny, but its honestly making the Wisest choice in your life that you can possibly make. Drop the alcohol from your life(no you aren't addicted) but the benefits are that , it will reassure her, it will take away the risk of you becoming an alcoholic, and it will reduce or make many problems dissapear or even non-existant in your life. Problems are like a person drowning in quicksand, if you drag that person out of the situation, in which the quicksand resembles the alcohol problems, your gf can rest assured and become happy in her life, in which she in her turn can make you happy in your life.
     
  3. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    ok so im really confused about her view on the drinking thing. so i was talking to her today about it, told her how i didnt drink last night, and how i wasnt going to. she kinda got upset, saying how she didnt want to be controling, and how with kevin (her most recent ex) he did the same thing, but ended up blaming alot of things on how she made him give it up. of course i reassured her that she wasnt being controlling and how theres nothing TO blame on that, i rarely drink as it is, its not a huge deal to not drink.

    so later that night, we were at chilis getting food, and the waitress offers this margarita thing, which i turn down. waitress leaves, gf says something like how she wanted the margarita. so waitress comes back, i order it, go through the rest of the order, gf looking happy. wants to check my ID, i say its in my car :rofl: and no margarita for us :wtc: but anyways, so she does want to drink? doesnt? ahhh maybe she just wants me to drink when shes around... i dunno
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well basically your gf wants to make you comfortable, so you should just act asif you are comfortable with what you are doing, a lot of communication with her basically trying to give her the 'everything is alright' kind of mind balance.

    Try to keep in balance with her thoughts, i personally would go for that. She seems rather complex, so watch out with the moves you make on her.
     

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