SRS Girlfriend's friends rock sometimes

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ridonkulous1, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    So, her friend is 3000 miles away from us. She still occasionally texts and calls my gf to tell her that I'm not good enough for her. My girlfriend still thinks of her as like a best friend and it really hurts her. It's been this way for like a year and it's not changing. The girl is just very immature and needs attention.

    But, the problem is, what do I tell my gf?

    If I tell her to just stop giving a fuck and cut this bitchy false friend out of her life, than I'm no better than her friend. I don't wanna do that.

    Do I just hope that my gf finally realizes that she doesn't need her as a friend?


    P.S. I really don't care anytime she says anything. But, it just sucks to see my gf be so conflicted and have such asshole friends.
     
  2. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    You shouldn't let some girl get between you and your gf... especially if there is no reason for her to be.

    IMO you got the right to tell your gf to shut her friend's mouth unless she has a basis as to why she thinks your bad for her.
     
  3. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    Do any of her other friends say these things? You can talk to her about why she believes this friend.

    I think sometimes girls listen to friends because they have had the whole, dating an asshole, not seeing it, friends try to tell her, but she doesn't listen, situation where when its over they wish they had listened.

    This said when her friend says these things it might worry her that she isn't listening but should be. Love can blind you sometimes. It sounds to me like maybe something is wrong, as major or minor as it may be, and she isn't telling you....

    I suggest you talk to her about why she believes the friend. There has to be some issue she toggles around in her mind when her friend says that to make her wonder. If you focus on how she feels, and not on the nosey ass friend, you might get someplace.

    I'm not implying her friend is right. I'm saying there has to be something going on that is allowing your g/f to hold on to her friends words and not realize she is full of shit. If you want to approach this it is your job to extract this information from your girlfriend and ignore the friend until all is settled. Talking about the friend will, in my opinion, potentially make her point more valid if your girlfriend listens to her like that.
     
  4. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    She only seems bitchy to you because she doesn't like you. That's what friends do.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Why does her friend think you aren't good enough for your girlfriend? There has to be a reason so don't say "nothing" or I don't know."
     
  6. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    well, her friend is still angry at me because all of her friends at one point were after me (one of whom I was best friends with) and I told them I didn't see them as more than friends. And then I started to date my gf who was also in that group of friends, because I really like her. And that sort of led to the crumbling of their group of friends because they split into little factions of who they were gonna support and all that stupid senior year of high school drama bull. And here we are, a year later, and her friend is still at it. It's quite sad. And she doesn't seem bitchy to me haha because she's not talking to me, she seems bitchy to my girlfriend.
     
  7. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    Oh no there's nothing wrong in the relationship. My girlfriend was literally telling her how amazing she feels right now and how perfect we were and her friend went off about how I'm a dick. I know it's entirely impossible for me to prove I'm not a dick over the internet, but I swear, I'm not haha. The problem in this scenario is not our relationship, but rather her relationship with her friend and how she can feel better about it or get over it or what.
     
  8. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    So she is upset that her friend doesn't see you like she sees you? Or is she upset because of what the friend is saying? I guess that is what confuses me.

    Why would she be upset about something she knows isn't true? Unless you meant what you said in the perspective of it upsets her because the friend is saying things... not what she is saying as much...

    If she is taking in the advice and opinions of the friend towards you and that is the conflict I still say talk to her. You never know what could have upset her from the past that she ran to that friend for advice with. You could be the most amazing b/f in the world.. I'm just saying definitely check that up... From a girls perspective..... Just check...

    In the other case, and she is upset her friend doesn't like you.... That makes her friend not a very good friend. Ask her to reverse the situation and whether or not that is polite or a positive attitude to have towards her let alone you. Focus on what her friend is doing affects her. No one wants a friend who can't stop and accept that they are happy with someone even it they can't be. Any friend who repeatedly makes you feel like shit about something needs to know that. She needs to stand up for herself and if that doesn't work it kind of makes the friendship one way. Does any relationship work that way?

    Approach it as how it affects her. Take yourself out of the equation for a little bit maybe when approaching this with her. This friend is being wrong to her, assuming she has no reason to be the way she is, and even still there is only so much you should do to interfere with someone elses life so you don't ruin the relationship you have with them. You don't hurt someones feeling repeatedly like that.. You especially don't steal someones thunder when they are talking about something great in their life by ripping it to shreds...
     
  9. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    I have experienced this problem and this is how I solved it.

    I called her and tell her if she ever talks shit about me in front of my girlfriend, I will track her down and ruin every single relationship she will ever have and she will have a rep of being slut. in this case, 90% time is true.(shes prolly a slut)

    then i told my girlfriend what i told her and told her if she ever talks shit to you and you dont defend me I am going to break up.



    issue solved.


    sometimes girls just like to gossip but if you show them whats up then they will back down.
     
  10. WGD87

    WGD87 New Member

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    wow..... lol
     
  11. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    :rofl: do this and she'll probably just dump you.
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Basically your girlfriends friend wants you for herself. Its just stupid jealousy. That's why she's talking bad to your to your gf, because she hopes you two break up ,so that she can have you for herself. You said it yourself that everyone in that group was after you.

    Although Kindlycuddly laughed about zaqweewqaz reply, i think its good advice, don't let anyone walk over you, directly or indirectly.
     
  13. Ridonkulous1

    Ridonkulous1 New Member

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    thanks for the advice everyone. I checked up on it last night to make sure everything was okay and she said no... everything was perfect. But, yeah, she's just upset about the whole thing because she feels like she's losing her friend because she's being petty and stupid. Oh and I found out that apparently she wasn't talking directly to my girlfriend, she was talking to my girlfriend's best friend (who loves us) and then she told my girlfriend. So it wasn't her trying to convince my gf because she knows that's impossible. It was more my gf getting mad because this girl is just shit talking myself and us to her best friend for no reason whatsoever, and that's not the way friends go about the situation.

    Thank you again everyone. I think I have it all sorted out. I just wish the girl would finally act like she's 3000 miles away haha.
     
  14. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    in my opinion, it would be warranted to dump a partner who did that...shows that the SO doesn't trust them to take care of their own problems, and the method was very very immature. Ruining a reputation out of spite is what junior high students do, not mature adults.
     

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