SRS Girlfriend's drug use issues...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GTLifter, May 30, 2006.

  1. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    So I've been dating this girl for probably 2 months and I have known her for probably 5-6 years.

    She smoke pot on a somewhat regular basis which I don’t have a problem with but she also occasionally uses other stuff. The thing is she only does this stuff when she is with another girl who has been her best friend for most of her life, when they are apart she doesn’t do this stuff but it seems as they feed of each other and do some hard shit. The other night it was jut her/her friend, they did some cocaine and I think Ecstasy is what she said. I'm not positive about the X but she told me it what it was and all I remember was it was some sort of pill. She had told me that she had tried coke in the past and I don’t mind that she tried it but that she has done it again is really bothering me. I’m glad she was honest with me and told me. I really like this girl and don’t want to break it off but this does bother me.

    I can put up with the weed use but harder stuff like Coke/Ecstasy/etc bothers me. So how do I approach her about it? I don’t want to tell her how to live her life because it is not my place to do such. We have a great relationship and this is really the only thing about her that bothers me. I'm hoping I can get her to stop but I don’t know how to approach it.

    I’m rambling and thanks in advance for the help.
     
  2. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    "I don't want to date someone who abuses hard drugs."

    Thats what you wanna say. You're just scared to say it.
     
  3. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    yea thats pretty much it.....


    but where is the line between abuse and occasional recreational use?
     
  4. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Thats the thing: that line is invisible and the user never, ever knows when they cross it. So from your perspective, all use is abuse.
     
  5. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    very good point, sounds like I need to talk to her about it ASAP then and see if we can work something out.
     
  6. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    I wouldn't fret recreational use. It's habitual use you worry about.
     
  7. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

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    easy way out. requires no effort to simply lable use as abuse, thus eliminating any critical thinking.

    cocaine and ecstasy are definately addictive drugs (MDMA is actually one of the more harmless recreational drugs around, the problem comes when it is cut with methamphetamine or heroin), but going so far as to refuse a complex judgement on the user is pretty unfair for the yourself and the user.

    are these drugs getting in the way of your relationship, i.e. you see her less often because drug use is increasing or having questionable guys around her while she is under the influence of coke and ecstacy

    is she spending too much money on these drugs that she cant maintain a satisfactory lifestyle (clean clothes, healthy food), and chip in for dinner every once in a while (unless you're rich and pay for everything anyway)

    is she bored with activities that don't surround drugs, like going to movies or the beach, shooting pool, or just relaxing with you on the couch

    is her health deteriorating (loss of weight, lack of sleep, increasing anxiety or paranoia)

    take in all aspects of her use and your relationship. if you see no harm, then no harm done. however, if none of these things are happening right now they can always pop up later. give her a little credit on her part that responsible drug use is possible, but remain vigilant because that could change in a second if she is not careful.
     
  8. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Its pretty simple: for an adult that has their shit together to the point that they don't abuse addictive substances... people that do aren't attractive. They're called addictive drugs for a reason. Most people, and this guy included think: "she has nothing better to do with her time?"

    High school is over. For an adult, using addictive substances is always abuse. Drug use is selfish. Drug users are selfish. They do not good companions make.
     
  9. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

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    food is an addictive substance. do you have any idea how hard it is for someone who has been a glutton all their life to suddenly stick to a healthy lifestyle of diet and exersise? just look at the rising rates of obesity. yet many people can eat in moderation. drug use is not black and white. true - the successful, happy, nuclear family man who induldges on occation doesnt make the front page or the latest "Cops" episode, but that doesnt mean he doesnt exist.

    nothing in life is black and white.
     
  10. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    I've been doing some thinking.

    If its only occasional recreational use then I am fine with it, as long as it does not begin to affect our relationship. Also, she only does this shit when its just her and her best friend, as far as I know. I'm going to talk to her about it when I see her tonight.

    I'm not going to sit here and tell her how to live her life but I am not going to date a drug addict. I have my own vices too so if it occasional use that doesn't affect her life then I can probably let it slide but as Don Ganja said I will be keeping a close watch to make sure nothing develops into chronic use.
     
  11. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    BTW we are both 20 and in college, she is home in our hometown living with her parents and working for her family while I am living working about 30 minutes away in Atlanta.
     
  12. waterypoop

    waterypoop New Member

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    If its not affecting her life in a negative way and shes not doing stupid things while she is then i dont think you really need to worry. It would be good to talk to her about how you feel though :)
     
  13. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    She's 20 years old. Identifying the line between "use" and abuse of addictive substances just isn't gonna happen. It never does.
     

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