Girlfriend who havent seen her xboyfriend in like 3 years.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by PeetaGTS, May 11, 2007.

  1. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    Hey Guys,
    I wanted to get some advice on this issue i am having. My girlfriend of 6months have recently been in contact with her EXboyfriend which she has not seen for 3 years. Next month , he will be in town and they had planned on meeting up.

    To me... i feel very concerned and jealous but not sure how i should really feel about this issue. Whether its ok or its not ok.

    It really bothers me because theres 2-3 of her exboyfriends that she still in contact with, one who used to call her a few times a week even late at night... which has been resolved when i brought it up to her attention. She thinks there is nothing wrong with it.

    What are your thoughts on this?
    Thanks
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    How often is she in contact with him? What types of contact does she have? In person, or just on IM/phone?
     
  3. Here goes, Instincts kicking in. This may hurt. If this girl talks to her exes as just friends, well there should be no issue, I mean you have physically been introduced to them. If she hasn't done that then this girl has a seperation issue, assuming this is consisent, not the once a month talk to the ex. I as a guy believe once a girl is an ex, she will always be an ex and she should be cut from contact, unless you want to stay friends or fuck-buddies with her.

    If the guy is coming into town next week, well she should take you out with her when she goes to see him, if she goes to see him, (or at the least invite you to come along) and you should just sit back and relax. This is clearly showing him that you exist and she's not hiding you. If she doesn't tell you she's seeing him or if she wants to see him alone, then I would be worried. I'm not going to say dump her yet, but she seems to cling onto the past, this could harm you later.

    Being jealous will drive her away stop that shit.

    Beast
     
  4. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    she seldomly in contact with them but her ex are the one who always text messages via phone.. the other use to call but not much any more but i know he still does.

    She says sometimes like 2-3 months she calls to see how he is doing. just small talk.. a few mins not long at all.

    As far as her ex who she hasnt seen for 3 years.. she just told me after they texted each other that she hasnt seen him in a long timee and then asked me how far is this place..... where hes coming into town. I mean she tells me everything that is going on.
     
  5. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    and thing is, shes a beautiful girl and i get jealous but hide it sometimes when all her guy friends always want to take her out and hang out with her. and one of her friends always text messages her.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well....my initial thoughts at first were why hasn't she seen him in 3 years? What I'm saying is that I am actually friends with a lot of my ex's. One I hang out with every other day or so, and some I talk to online, etc. etc. But when you say she hasn't seen him in 3 years it makes it sound like they had a bad breakup, maybe had to get away from one another....and now think it's ok to meet up again. I honestly don't like the sound of it. As strange as it sounds I feel it's more deceptive to meet with an ex a long time after not seeing or talking to them as opposed to keeping some sort of friendship with them the whole time.

    Hmm, she may not be the right kind of girl for you either. All my friends are guys and they call and text me/I call and text them all the time....Difference is my boyfriend trusts me and them enough to not get all jealous and insecure. Those kinds of feeling are hard to overcome.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'd be concerned about that. Read into that. Your gf wants to see her ex. It's not "he asked her to meet up and she said no." It's "they (meaning she agreed to it) planned on meeting up." She wants to see him. Huge red flag.

    edit - Yes, I know there are exceptions where people become platonic friends after being in a relationship. That is the exception. I'm forming my conclusion based on what I know and the probability that they aren't strictly platonic friends. A big factor would be why they broke up, which wasn't mentioned in the post. If he dumped her, I'd be concerned about her planning on fucking him.

    Dude, I think you and this girl have different fundamental beliefs about what should go on in a relationship. This is going to cause problems. But being a female, she probably "thinks there's nothing wrong with it" because she likes the attention. And that is a big red flag, too.

    Attention whores make bad girlfriends.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2007
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Although I would try to get in on the plans, so you'll be with them when they hang out I wouldn't sweat it to much. If she is being this upfront about it with you then I don't see it as a problem. I have met up with ex gfs after years of no contact, not because we wanted anything from each other but just to catch up. If she was not telling you about this etc then I would be worried - but it doesn't sound like that is happening
     
  9. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    well her "guy" friends soemtimes text message her to go out but she usually doesnt go without me. We see each other and spend the night with each other every day. Like

    1) a friend of her she went to school with moved out of state and is coming back ins tates to visit and wanted to take my girl out to dinner. Is that fine?


    2) Her ex whom she hasnt seen for 3 years talk to online or text message like sometimes... (i've only seen it happen once)

    i trust my girl but just these type of things just bothers me and i dont know if its worth being bothered by.

    I mean we have had an argument over it before , primarily abotu her last ex about him calling her all the time. she doesnt really call him but her would call her. very seldomly will she call him just to see how he is doing. This ex is still into her and i made it clear that by calling him just to see how hes doing sometimes just iniates him to keep calling you.

    She has improved on that though.

    Thanks so much for the help guys
     
  10. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    she doesnt hang out much with her male friends much.. if she does it would be at a club and she wnats me to go with her. but 6months of our relationship shes gone to a dinner and a movie with one of her good male friends. and coming up next month is another guy thats coming back to states to visit his family and wants to take her out to dinner.
     
  11. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    and what strikes me is she sometimes refers things to her ex boyfriends like.

    ohh yea last time i was here was with my ex so and so.

    oh last time i was did this i was with this ex and so and so

    ohh my ex used to do this....

    one time my ex did this ... etc.

    I basically told her to stop with the shit cause i don't care what her ex did and didnt do.



    But our relationship is still very close. we hang out every day.
     
  12. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    Yea, thats what i was thinking when she brought that up. But she said she promised him awhile back she'd go out to this restauraunt with him.
     
  13. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    exactly what i said to her. shes only giving him hope.
     
  14. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    i've told her and she has improved alot but every now and then it would come out
     
  15. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    yeah maybe i should of put it that way.. cause when i did. i was pissed..

    i basically said i dont give a shit what you and your ex did or what he did before so stop that shit.
     
  16. Mystery Guest

    Mystery Guest New Member

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    Stop that shit now, otherwise your asking for it.
     
  17. PeetaGTS

    PeetaGTS New Member

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    i talked to her about this whole EX-Ex Boyfriend thing that she hasnt seen in 3 years..
    she talks to him like 3 times a year and he lives in MI. hes coming into town and she say why shouldn't i have dinner with him..
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2007
  18. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    Like so many other people have said, it seems like bad news.

    I can understand keeping contact with an ex that made a huge difference in your life and attempting to keep it "neutral" -- or becoming very good friends, but even then, that seems to be questionable. No matter what happened in a past relationship, a couple is always going to have a history.

    I would find it hard to believe someone could easily "turn off" feelings they had for a past flame/lover. :dunno:
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: If it's innocent then there's no reason you can't just all go out together as a group. She doesn't need to spend alone time with him, especially if she hasn't seen him in so long.
     
  20. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    I'm convinced that ex BFs or GFs that are still in their lives are just simply reduced to FWB. Meaning that they don't really see it as cheating if they hook up with their Ex.

    I personally would have an issue with that.

    What's their to talk about that hasn't been talked about?

    "Oh, your penis is harder, longer, thicker...... and shaped like a banna which makes my legs shake violently..... I really miss that Heath."

    "My GF doesn't like to give head and swallow.... as a matter of fact she said that gives oral cancer..."

    "My BF takes the gold for 3-pump-chump"

    "My GF is a hallway...... and I'm the pickle. I sure miss ur virgin-simulator birth canal."

    And so forth....
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    the term is hotdog in a hallway, not pickle in a hallway :mepoke:
     
  22. BATMANs

    BATMANs New Member

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    Perhaps in the East side.

    But CA are more health conscious.

    Hot dogs are Pancreatic Cancer in the making.....

    Ever been accused of that?
     
  23. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    the fact that its not being hidden from you is good, but the fact that it sounds like it happens with all her ex boyfriends is probobly a bad sign.
     
  24. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    How close were they? Did they break up on good or bad terms? How long were they together?

    There are ex's that I haven't seen in years that I would love to catch up with if they were in town.
    Then there are ex's who I haven't seen in years who I couldn't give a rast arse about.
    Both of the above is based on the relationship and friendship we had and how it ended.

    I haven't read any posts but the first two of the OPs
     
  25. Neo22

    Neo22 OT Supporter

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    If she's going to meet up with him without you, dump her. End of story IMO. She's going to do what she wants regardless of how you feel about it. Do you want to put up with that shit?? I wouldn't as I did in the past. NOt worth it dude.
     

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