Girlfriend went away to college.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Weirdo1769, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Weirdo1769

    Weirdo1769 Guest

    Ok, so I need your expert opinions here. Basically, my gf just went away to college for 4 years. Here's the catch, she's only an hour away, I may see her on the weekends, possibly not. We are both 22. She failed out of 2 other schools for different reasons (one was because she was homeless). Anyway, I am just really worried that her being in a new environment and around new people will put a strain on our relationship due to infidelities being more likely due to new atmosphere? I really would love for it to work out and I honestly would marry her now.

    So basically, can a relationship survive one half going away to college while the other works a job and lives at home?
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yes





    And No
     
  3. Weirdo1769

    Weirdo1769 Guest

    ok, well...problems are already starting. We used to check in with each other at least a few times during the day like when I went to lunch at work just to say that we love each other and what not. So I call her today and she was already done classes and was like "uhh I can't talk I really gotta finalize my schedule and shit" at noon today, 9 hours later, haven't heard back from her still. I mean, it's pretty shitty I think.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No trust, no relationship. Don't get clingy, paranoid or bitchy either, otherwise you can kiss her goodbye. Have your own life, find yourself and who you are when you can't see her speak to her all day long.
     
  5. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    It "can" work.

    I've made it work, i've known many friends that make it works, etc... With only an hour of distance, it can easily be made to work.....

    AS LONG AS

    1) She can be trusted. Doesn't matter if she is 10min away or 10 hours away... If she's gonna cheat then she's gonna cheat. Make sure you you're not being foolish by trusting her and expecting her to be faithful to you.

    2) You don't get aggressive, clingy, jealous, controlling, etc... Girls, especially when they're away like that have something to prove to themselves and they don't want a b/f back home trying to keep tabs on them. She will make friends with guys, she will hang out with guys, and she will go to parties.... You have to accept that.
    But as long as she can represent #1 and you can keep #2 in check then you'll be fine.

    Sometimes people just change when they move away on their own though... so don't be surprised if she starts expecting different things from you and herself.

    My point is....... It can work, but there is only one way to know. Give it a try, but if things get sketchy and you start fighting or growing distant just end it before shit gets too complicated.
     
  6. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Let her settle in and get accustomed to the new life before you start getting pissed at her and giving her the 3rd degree. You need to have patience if you wanna make this work. You need to expect to put in just as much effort (if not more) than her to keep this thing alive.
    (effort meaning being rational and keeping yourself in control).
     
  7. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    I did it. I moved 3 hours away from home (ie where both our parents live). We both had a lot of trust in each other and wanted it to work. We talked on the phone every night and on im during some days. It CAN work, you both just have to want it.

    Now my boyfriend and I go to the same school so we see each other every day :)
     
  8. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    My sister went down to Texas for her master's studies while her b/f stayed in Columbus to finish up his undergrad. After a year of this and seeing each other maybe 5 or 6 times during the while thing, he graduated, asked her to marry him, and moved down to Texas with her. So, yes, it can work.

    I'm going to hope I can pull something similar as I go off to grad school this coming fall, leaving my g/f in Columbus :( I'll be lucky to see her once a month, but I really think it has a good chance of working.
     
  9. Weirdo1769

    Weirdo1769 Guest

    thanks for all the input. I definitely realize that I was having high expectations of talking to her in the first few days. I want to give her the space she needs to settle in. I do trust her. We've been dating since oct 06 although we "dated" when we were younger (like 14) for a few months.

    She dated a guy for 3 years after that, and cheated on him. Hence, my trepidation. She hasn't cheated on me, and I haven't cheated on her even though I was being seduced by a girl. She was homeless for a period of time and I actually snuck her in and out of my house for 3 months so she didn't have to sleep in her car. I think that is one reason she has been faithful to me because she appreciated that I risked my own living situation by giving her a place to stay at the cost of me getting kicked out. I was in the hospital for a week during the time and she was there every night for me and supported me emotionally during that time. We also had an 'accident' and had to deal with that. So we have been through a lot together this past year.


    I am hoping this time apart makes our relationship stronger, and that we better our own lives during this time. I am glad that other people have made it work. It is very reassuring to hear.
     
  10. f-g

    f-g OT Supporter

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    I met a girl not too long ago and we're kind of seeing each other. She's an hour away, too.

    I'm hoping it works out :hs:

    good luck
     
  11. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    yeah, it can work. But realize that going away to college will probably change her-- though not necessarily in a bad way. When my boyfriend went away to college a few years back, things clearly werent the same as they had been when we saw each other every day, but our relationship quickly adjusted to seeing each other every weekend. Then I went away to college two years later, three hours away from him, and seeing each other every few weeks. Another adjustment, and I know I grew up more during that time than during the rest of our relationship, but we survived and we're still doing the LDR thing. Works well for us because we get to have our own lives, and if we ever do get married we can both feel as though we got to do the things we needed to do for ourselves first. Trust her unless she gives you a real reason to worry.

    an hour is small potatoes. you'll be fine if you both work at it.
     
  12. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    It can work. It's tough.
     
  13. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    and IMO not worth it. One person will become the clinger IE the person not in college. The other will careless since they are surrounded by thousands of singles.
     
  14. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i'm currently in college and my bf is 2.5 hours away, living at home and working (he already graduated). it's working fine :dunno: but we both trust each other entirely and neither of us are clingy.
     
  15. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it CAN work, yes.

    It FAILS about 90% of the time.

    With it being only an hour away, give it a try. try hard, but be prepared for it to not work.
     
  16. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    not unless u move there; u r 22; y not if shes ok w. it
     
  17. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    The first few days of school are rough. I was on campus today from 10 am until 3:30 pm today and I didn't have class. I came right home and took a nap for 2.5 hours, and right back to campus after I made myself dinner to take care of some personal paperwork for my patient's tomorrow. And then I went out. I was effectively "busy" from 10 am until 12 am. Give her a chance to settle in before you start pulling the clingy card.. :ugh: Or better yet, TRUST her, and don't play that card at all. It might be a rough relationship, but if there's trust and loyalty on both sides, you'll pull through.
     
  18. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Before I moved to college, me and my GF already lived about an hour apart. We've been together for 2 years now. It can work
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    it can work, but it won't. the only way itll work is if

    -she's utterly whipped on you. and i don't mean she's crazy about you i mean she's absolutely whipped
    -in ADDITION to this, she needs to be a real individual. if she's the kind of girl who will put a large importance on social circle (vs, for example, quality one-to-one friendships), forget about it
     
  20. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Many things can and do put a strain on a relationship, a successful relationship is one that can overcome/work through and grow from this strain, so go with the flow of the river and if it doesn't work out, you know she's not right for you.
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    LDRs are fucking retarded
     
  22. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    I might have my work cut out for me in the next few years because of all this.

    Like I said earlier, currently we are an hour apart. But come this spring I am moving near her but then just 4 months after that she is graduating and moving an hour away from where I will be, lol. We're basically switching rolls. Then after that, we both have to worry about grad school and she is hell bent on going the west coast (SoCal), and wants to wait for me... so only time will tell what happens.

    I have to say though... an hour is no big deal; at least you can see them every week; AT THE LEAST. But it would have to be a DAMN special girl for me to even consider carrying out a long-distance relationship over state lines and such.
     
  23. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Why is she bent on going to the west coast?
     
  24. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    broad generalizations are fucking retarted
     
  25. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    .
     

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