SRS Girlfriend thinks there is nothing wrong with grinding.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BadRotation, May 19, 2007.

  1. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    At least she let me know before she went to the club with her friends.

    She is a really nice girl, no relationship problems ever, except this one... Some of her friends invited her to go to the club, and being that she hasnt seen the friends in a while, she said yes.

    I told her that I saw grinding as cheating, since it is basically humping some random guy. She dissagrees, and says nothing is wrong with it. This has been eating away at me the past two days that she does not seem to think that there is anything wrong with doing that with random guys when you are in a serious relationship.

    I am glad she told me beforehand, but at the same time, it is just eating me up. Lke I said, there have not been problems in the past, this is the first major bump, and I have no clue what to do. I told her I strongly dissagree with going out to the club, especially if I am not with her, bt she is still going.

    I gotta say I am kinda pissed off/heart broken right now, because other than this, her and I have been the perfect match so far.

    Just had to vent.
     
  2. deleterious

    deleterious OT Supporter

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    yeah wtf

    rubbing her cooch against some guys junk is definetely messed up :ugh:
     
  3. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    Hmm, yeah. I'd have a problem with that too. Then again, I wouldnt even be out dancing with other guys at a club, I'd just stick to dancing with my friends. :shrug:
     
  4. mightymike

    mightymike New Member

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    I def think she shouldn't be out dancing with other guys at a club if you guys have been in a serious relationship. I know if you tell her that, it'll back fire like your the bad person.

    I guess the best thing for you is to honestly tell her it makes you uncomfortable when shes "grinds" with other guys. If she understands your feelings are hurt and sees you honestly don't like it, she said stop doing it.
     
  5. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    yea, seriously. forget grinding, she shouldn't even be dancing with other guys unless it's a friend or something. even then it'd be kinda :ugh2:
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    its either a dealbreaker for you, or its not
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    * * * insert obligitory R. Kelly lyrics here * * *

    I don't see nothing wrrooong (ooh)
    With a little bump 'n griiiiind (with a little bump 'n grind)

    :naughtyd:

    Personally, I don't think it's a big deal at all. It won't bother me if I did it or if my SO did it.
    To me it 's just dancing.

    BUT it is a big deal to you and your SO needs to be respectful of that.

    You never said what happened when she got to the club- did she grind all over some guy even after you asked her not to?

    I wouldn't let it throw off your groove with her- you seem so sad, like it's the first big thing you two haven't seen eye to eye on.
    No one is perfect. No one out there is going to live up to your expectations 100% of the time.

    You say this is your first big bump and you have no idea what to do- here's what you do... Talk to her about it again if it's still really eating at you. It's not fair to either of you if you're still this bummed out 3 days later. She's probably wondering why you're acting upset AND its not fair for you to still feel so let down and not have any resolution.

    Just relax. Good luck ;)
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2007
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You've told her it bothers you, you've asked her to stop. She's refusing because "she doesn't see anything wrong with it". IMO she's refusing because she enjoys what she "gets" from it. She may like the attention of other men, she may like the feel of them getting excited by her grinding, she may be getting excited by it also.

    Me personally, it's a deal breaker because it's just too close to cheating and she's being very selfish. But that's just me.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yup.

    I don't think he should have to ask her to stop. If she was a good gf she wouldn't want to do it in the first place. IMO of course. It's like asking someone "will you please stop cheating on me?" "Oh, sure, honey."

    Yup. She's either 1) an attention whore, 2) not really "into" your relationship, or 3) has significantly different ideas about what is ok in a relationship.

    All three are deal breakers, IMO.
     
  10. Fritzoes

    Fritzoes New Member

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    I think grinding is totally appropriate. It's not like she's naked, she's just DANCING.
    :ugh:
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Ok, mind if your gf comes and grinds on me til I get hard?
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    She's dancing in a manner very similar to sex. There can also be pressure on her vagina from his leg and/or on her ass from his pelvis/penis. Grinding is a huge turn on for many people....why is this so appropriate when the other person isn't your significant other??
     
  13. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I get sloppy seconds! :rofl:
     
  14. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    She came to her senses today and said she was sorry, and decided not to go. She did want to go party with a couple of her friends at her friends house, but at least had the decency to invite me.

    She said she was sorry, and wont do anything that makes me uncomfortable. I hope it stays this way, because other than that, this girl is absolutely amazing.

    Now she is debating even partying or just hanging out with me alone... We shall see.... She gets off work at 11.

    She is young (19), but I know many 19 year olds, and she is quite a bit more mature than them. Unfortunately, her age shows through sometimes during little moments like this.
     
  15. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    :werd:


    Its not like she's conversating and exchanging numbers with the other guys then she's just out having a good time with her girls. If you guys are in a serious relationship, she will know whats appropriate and inappropriate when she is at the club with her friends.
     
  16. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    You guys know time apart from each other is benefical right?? How would you feel if you want to go with your boys, and she made you change your mind about not going out. I would say she should go out and have some fun with onyl her friends, there has to be some trust in a relationship.
     
  17. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    I don't see whats wrong with dancing. Dancing can be seen sexual to some while others see it as some recreational activity to do. I know I have no problem with my girl going out to the club without me. Yes I know she is going to be dancing alot with her friends, but I do realize there will be times she will be dancing with some random guys. I just know she knows where dancing and stepping past boundries.
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Dancing and grinding are different tho....way to ignore those parts of my last post.
     
  19. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I actually agree with this idea. However, his g/f is not just talking about hanging out with friends. They are talking about going to a bar where she'll be grinding on other dudes. Therefore I totally disagree with this advice as it relates to this specific situation.
     
  20. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    Grinding is a part of dancing. Grinding usually occurs with most hip/hop, club, reggathon music. So if grinding occurs between these types of music where it is typical to have grinding I wouldn't have a problem with it.

    Some people like myself, girlfriend, and tons of my friends don't see whats wrong with grinding if we know we are only dancing. It's a part of dancing and we all know we just out having fun dancing. We go out and dance with one another, and know when we see are SO with oen of our friends its just dancing and we just having a good time.

    Granted if the random guy who the OP's gf is dancing with thinks it is a sexual thing she can stop anytime, because she knows she has a guy and go dance with another guy who doesn't think that way.
     
  21. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    True I didn't provide a good example, I usually have a hard time giving example that relate lol :rofl:

    But I still think she should let her friend go alone to the party or club with her friends.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Based on her agreeing not to do it, I think she has decided to do it anyway, but tell you what you want to hear.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Agree with Yail. You may just need to dump her.
     
  24. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    Nah, I spent the night with her... She is the first girl I have ever somewhat trusted.

    She did get wasted with a few of her friends (5 girls, and two guys) but I was with her the entire night, and they did know she was off limits, and she didnt flirt or anything even when she was totally wasted, so that was good.
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Oh boy.

    Let me get this straight. Your girl likes to go out to clubs with friends, get wasted, and dance with other guys?

    Not the type of girl I'd be with (I see it being to easy for her to get in a situation where cheating could occur), but hey, if you guys can pull it off, good for you.
     

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