girlfriend probs

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by veneratio, May 19, 2006.

  1. veneratio

    veneratio New Member

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    I just don't know what to do anymore. My girl of 7 yrs, is driving me crazy. I have cheated on her before (we were kinda separated) and she caught me once and since then it's been downhill. She was very controlling before and now is even more. I argue about the biggest things, she is 4 yrs older and wants to get married, im 25 and don't want to. Should I just totally end it, end all contact, and try to forget about it? Im afraid I am going to regret it later on. Im more confused than a woodpecker in a metal forest.
     
  2. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    End it.
    It'll be hard, but end it. Keeping in contact will make it needlessly more difficult.
     
  3. wannaseemysocks

    wannaseemysocks I Have Big Socks...

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    first off LOL at woodpecker in a metal forest...


    the fact that you even made this thread tells me it may be time to end it..
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Whats important is that you only put love and light into your relationship on a continues basis on the long term. Its all about being together but still letting eachother being able to do their own thing. Freedom within boundries that is. Small arguments can lead to big break ups and therefore you should stop putting darkness , and hatred into your current and future relationships to make things work out. Personally i don't think you deserve her, but i don't think you deserve to be controlled 24/7/365 either. Personally if i where you i would break up with here and i would 'seriously' review and NEVER repeat those cheating actions, and learn from your mistakes, May it as it be, your better off without having this woman in your life. You are what we call immature for it might take a boy to fuck around with a lady's heart, but it takes a man to raise a family, goodnight.
     
  5. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like the cheating has created a rift you both are unable to repair. Just cut your losses and move on now.
     
  6. CastorTroy

    CastorTroy New Member

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    I agree with the others, sounds like it's time to move on. Seems theres some deep issues, and you both want different things in life right now, not a good combination.
     
  7. Aviv

    Aviv OT Supporter

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    Take away the cheating issue and you still have the fact that you are both at different stages of your lives and want different things. She's ready to settle down and get married, but if you have no intention of doing so, how far do you think this relationship will last?
     
  8. JaJae

    JaJae New Member

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    From what I've read I say it's time to move on. She's obviously not over the cheating and if you've cheated you're obviously not completely happy with her. Find someone else. Seven years is a long time and it may seem like you can't do any better, but there's someone out there who will make you happier.
     
  9. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    I agree with everyone else. suck it up, and find someone else whom you WONT cheat on. If you loved her, you wouldnt have cheated in the first place.
    your relationship typifies this phrase, "its over before its OVER"
     
  10. beez

    beez New Member

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    Yeah you definitely need to end things. It will be hard but you will be much happier than you are right now after you get over the breakup.
     
  11. apman0000

    apman0000 OT Supporter

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    keep her but cheat more to make up for her starting shit with you

    or

    end it and put a stop to the drama

    or

    just be miserable and never have trust in your relationship because you cheated in the 1st place, of course if seperated it wasn't really cheating,,,hmm oh well, i'd dump her
     
  12. Hondacrusher

    Hondacrusher New Member

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    Obviously you already know what you should do, you just created this thread to read supportive statements by anonymous strangers to help you grow a set of balls and follow through with the inevitable. Have a good night of lovin and then dump her, cut all contact the next day, ignore her screenname, delete her e-mails before you open them, and change your cell phone #.
     
  13. AO

    AO New Member

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    If you got married you'd probably just end up increasing the likelihood that you'd get divorced since she may never trust you again. What you're not telling us why you were separated in the first place.
     
  14. nbiggershaft

    nbiggershaft New Member

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    I've been with my girlfriend of two and a half years and she knows I have cheated on her. I mentioned it on OT and got a bunch of flak and bs. But seriously, my girlfriend and I are together most likely for good, but she trusts me again. If you don't have that trust then you won't be able to stay together. She doesn't love you that much, she just wants to own you and is comfortable with you. If you think she can be happy with you and you can be happy with her, go for it. But if you think she is looking for ways to get back at you and will hold a grudge, then your fucked, get out.
     
  15. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I'd say....

    So what's teh connection here? She has taken over the role of the responsible party in your relationship - she is like the mother to the child at this point. Yes, she has taken control because you are - or did - demonstrate a lack of self-control by cheating on her, and you possibly also are not behaving like a mature adult and taking half the "load" as well. She controls because you refuse to kind of idea.

    I would recommend you dump her simply because of this. A controlling woman will drive you crazy. Do you want a mother or a wife? In my opinion, there has to be an equal balance, equal say, in a relationship. It sounds like she thinks relationships are one-way. What ever happened to give and take? You know what I mean?

    But do you discuss the real issues that are underneath the "things" such as your lacking qualities and how you can improve? Realistically I think you are out-gunned here, so to speak. She's much older and smarter, and you're simply not equipped to deal with that. You should find a younger woman - MUCH younger - so you have some balance of power.

    Well no shit, it's because you don't love her! If you loved her, you would have gotten married a long time ago. Now she is pressuring you so you can be married for a year, she can divorce you, and you can pay her alimony for years. You'd be a fool to stick with her.

    Worse, you are denying both her and yourself to opportunity to meet someone with whom you are really compatible. Imagine if some young, hot, smart, perfect woman came into your like with whom you could be perfectly happy ... but you were not single. You blew it if that happens. Dump her, be single, and start looking for the RIGHT woman.

    Regret it? Hah! You'll be glad you did, believe me. You sound like you are talking about my ex-wife.

    You should hit up my dating advice site ... www.friendzoned.com ... read the "articles" and see if there's anything of use. ;)

    Good luck!
     
  16. Michael87

    Michael87 New Member

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    It depends how much you care for her. You could end it and cut all contact and you will get over it in time and move on to someone else. A silly question but have you tried talking about things with her? I agree with alot of the previous posters that say that you cheating has created a problem between the two of you which hasn't been fixed. If you really care about her and want to make things ok, why not go see a couples therapist or something like that?
     
  17. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    i believe this belongs in the vaginarium. PM one of their mods if you feel it should be moved back. :)
     
  18. blackgrrl23

    blackgrrl23 If the game ain't money, then I ain't playing.

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    I say asylum...:x:

    But yeah dude move on....I lingered in a relationship for too long (5 years). He was 30 and I was 25 when I broke it off. He wanted me to marry him after dating for 2 years. Too bad he was already married in another state and had children in another state also and I found out about it after a through background check. I was getting ready to marry him and something told me to run it and boy am i glad i did. I am now kicking myself for wasting 5 years of my life :o
     

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