Girlfriend problems female advice or comments needed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Crazyjester24, Jun 7, 2008.

  1. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    Been dating this girl for 3 months now almost 4, up until about 2 or 3 weeks ago everything was fine, but after i met her parents and her family she seems more distant and such. She says that her parents and family liked me fine but she says that meeting the family is a very big deal which i could use some explanation on. we just took about a week long break from talking to each other and im not quite sure if anything has changed, she still seems distant but says shes cares about me still. Im beginning to think she might be pushing me away to break up but another part of me says that if she wanted to she would have done so by now, any thoughts?
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    most of the time women don't do the breaking up

    they send signals to you in hopes you will do it for her
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Why did you take a "break" from talking? :ugh:

    Sounds pretty obvious that she's pushing you away and either she's hiding very well what the issue is or you are totally oblivious to something you've done :dunno:

    I'm still confused as to why a break was taken? Who wanted to take the break, her?

    The reason she's dragging this out and not just dumping you is because many, many girls feel bad about dumping a guy (yes, it's totally ridiculous), so instead of doing the logical thing when they're unhappy (breaking it off) they either propose a "break" that basically gives them a chance to see what else is out there, or they just act all distant and unhappy until you get so tired of it you wise up and dump them.

    You need to get her in person and tell her to explain flat out what is going on. Did you do anything? Did she meet someone else? What? Communication is key. Don't just tajke her "no, everything's fine" bullshit because if everything was fine you wouldn't be taking a break and she wouldn't be so unhappy and distant. Adults talk things out.

    But first, who proposed the break and why?
     
  4. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    well what would you gather from it? at first i thought she was trying to do that but after looking with a more level head i thought maybe she just needed space which is what she told me she needed
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    how has the sex been?
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    When a girl is really interested she doesn't need "space." It's total bullshit like the "break."

    The truth is something is up and she's spacing herself from you slowly.

    Here, read these fun threads on other Vagers who took "breaks"
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2260146
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1679840
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1950263
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2654958
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3202256
     
  7. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    she proposed the break because she said she needed space, she said i was smothering her by complimenting her too much and trying to talk to her all the time, we are both in college and live in different states so i cant get her in person, i cant say i love her because she doesnt feel the same way right now and im hoping that she can if i give her enough time to. This is my first relationship so im kinda new to all of this. she does say that when i get worried it pushes her further away. i get worried because its my first and i really do feel like i love her, she says its just because shes my first girlfriend, but i feel like i connect with her well (aside from this stuff) we arent able to see each other much right now seeing as she lives in SC and i live in PA, so i think that might be some of it
     
  8. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    thats not the break you are thinking of, we didnt stop the relationship we just stopped talking is all, maybe my previous post will explain things
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    desperate, needy, clingy behavior ftl
     
  10. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    yeah i realize this now, like i said first relationship so im still learning, i talked to a few people and i learned that i cant be that way so im trying to correct it. my question is, can it be repaired
     
  11. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    if it helps at all, after we took our "break" she did say she missed me and shes not the type to keep shit in, if i did something i can tell
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    she says she missed you because she doesn't want you to feel bad

    may i assume the two of you haven't had sex?
     
  13. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    from what others have been telling me, is just to be less "needy" or clingy and that should help, i have noticed that if i dont act that way she tends to be more affectionate and such. honestly i dont think she is looking for someone else i think its just my clingyness over everything else
     
  14. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    we have, but if you read my other posts, you would see we live about 500 miles apart so thats few and far between. last time i visited we didnt have any but thats because shes still living with her parents (college again) and she sleeps right above them, that and when i was down there she was pretty stressed about looking for a job and such so that made things a bit more diffucult
     
  15. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    the real issue is that i dont want to ask randomly "are you thinking of breaking up with me" because i know if i ask shit will hit the fan, we get along fine, aside from all of this we dont fight about anything and when we are together and not seperated she doesnt act so distant and such, she loves me being around but its hard because of the distance involved
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ahhh ok. Yeah, her asking for a break from talking to you IS exactly the same as those threads I posted. She didn't want to talk to you. She told you you were smothering her so unfortunately, like I thought, it was something you were doing that was turning her off and she's just being nice about it.

    At least you know now that you are annoyingly clingy :dunno: Stop doing that. It's one thing to compliment a woman, but I have a good idea you are obsessive and it gets old and has you come off an insecure. The sad truth is I'm sure you make your girlfriend your entire world and that's not healthy. Girls are attracted to a guy who has his own life. Obviously we want to be a part of that life, but if you are most likely calling her, texting her and checking up on her every waking second she is losing her life and I bet her family pointed that out to her.

    The fact that you are in an LDR is a huge sign as well. LDR's take constant communication and security when it comes to trust. If you are clingy on her because you are afraid she will cheat that doesn't say much about you.

    And honestly, I hate to say it but she's probably over being in the relationship with you. I didn't realize at first you were in college and in an LDR. She probably has met some men recently that peaked her interest and now she's wondering if your relationship is really going to work with all that distance. This is why it makes perfect sense that she asked for a break. Girls love to take "breaks" when they meet other men they are intrigued by. Somehow it makes them feel less guilty if they talk to or see that guy on their own :dunno:

    How long were you together before the LDR? How long have you been dating overall?
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i recommend that you meet some girls that live where you do

    if i traveled 500 miles i would be getting laid no matter what

    i'd get a hotel room if necessary

    you may as well go ahead and give her what she wants by breaking up with her
     
  18. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    its always been an LDR, and we have been dating about 4 months. I understand that im clingy and i am working on fixing it, trust me when i say shes not really the type to go looking when in a relationship, and in the fall we will be much closer together because i will be transferring to a school down in VA, instead of being 9 hours apart we will be 3, and before about 2 weeks ago neither of us found a job so that led to alot of stress on the relationship, luckily we both found jobs so that could help. I think that she distanced herself to help the relationship, i mean shes not completely cold now, its that we didnt talk as much as before
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm sorry you are naive :(

    I'm not saying she's cheating on you or has met another guy...but you are an idiot if you are really trying to convince yourself through all of this that there's NO way she's even looked at another prospect who doesn't live 500 miles from her and acts more like a man than you do.

    Notice how you now sound in denial and are defending everything she's done lately?
     
  20. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    what would you have me do? just straight up say "do you want to break up with me?" and if she doesnt then i have just created a shitload of problems, im asking for advice, not to be told im naive and in denial. I am not defending everything, the break and shit she has been doing lately is irritating and i wish she wouldnt do it but does automattically mean she wants to break up?
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I already told you. Asking her if she wants to dump you comes off sooo pathetic.

    Be an adult. Tell her "look, you've been acting distant and don't say you haven't been. I understand I might have been smothering you and I apologize and will work on it, but this relationship is hard when I can't see you and we have to rely on phone calls to keep in touch. I want you to want to talk to me. This relationship can't be one-sided, so if you don't then you need to tell me why and what is really going on. Is being in this LDR too hard for you?"
     
  22. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    i just asked her and she says she doesnt know. so im sending what you just told me
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh: Pick up the phone. If you seriously are having this important a conversation over AIM or text consider your relationship retarded.
     
  24. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    shes not in a place where she can talk right now so i have to do it this way, im planning on talking to her over the phone ASAP but shes saying that she isnt sure of what she wants but at the same time she doesnt want to be without me, and shes sorry for being so unfair.
     
  25. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    yeah...cause you know what about her? im going to trust what ilovebeer has to say, just because she cant make up her mind doesnt mean shes not a decent person and shes more than likely confused and isnt sure, does that mean shes not worth my time? and dont fucking call me bro
     

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