SRS Girlfriend of 2 and half years cheats on me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MrYads, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    Already posted this in OT, got a bit more support than I thought, and OTer timmay recommended posting it here, so here I am hoping that it'll help me out further.

    Heres what I previously posted:
    So theres been ton of these threads on OT, so I figured why not make one myself. Me and my now ex-gf (of about 2 and a half years, since senior year of HS) broke up about 3 weeks ago, and at the time it was a mutual thing because we both made the decision since we just didn't get along. Afterwards, there were 2 conversations with both of us just talking, seeing how we both felt, etc. One time she actually said she thought about making up lies to make me angry at her so that it would be easier on me, which made me question the validity of her cheating on me a little bit, but only a bit. Tonight came the third conversation since she called me, and I brought up how I saw pictures of her put up on facebook with her drinking, and surrounded by a bunch of dudes. Eventually we start having sort of an argument and she ends up telling me how she cheated on me while studying abroad in London. At the time of the conversation, it didn't really make me feel anything. But afterwards, it started to hit me. Things like "How dare she even look at me after getting back" and "How could see even have those phone conversations with me while over there" start coming through my mind, and now I'm here trying to vent on OT, probably against my better judgement. She also has the audacity to try to say "Don't call me a whore". She says that she now realizes she is better off without me since she feels "free to do the things she wants" which pretty much means drink and smoke weed since I didn't want her doing that when I wasn't around. She also did coke for awhile, which I forgave her for since she begged me to. I regret that now. I thought about posting her facebook and number and etc here on OT to try to seek some sort of revenge, but I've decided that eventually, someone will fuck her over, hopefully even worse than she did to me. And I hope she tries to contact me the day that happens. Now I just have to wait and try to get over this, and I know it'll be difficult :hs:



    For all of those who will want pics (Pretty much all of OT), here they are.
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    Yes, that is me on the right.


    Trying to link pics from facebook here:
    [​IMG]

    Photos of her, now a whore:
    [​IMG]









    Update: I talked to one of my friend's gf, who was one of our mutual friends. She updated me on how one night, both of them drank together at my friend's gf's ex-bf's place (a little confusing, but bear with me please). I knew about that night, because both of them came over to my place and my gf was drunk. That night all she would talk about was how she loved me and would never do anything with anyone else, even if she was drunk. Bullfuckingshit. Turns out that night, she made with the Karen's (friends gf) ex, with another guy feeling up on her. This is really making me sick now, because this was quite awhile ago and both of them convinced us nothing happened. I still went out with her for a long time afterwards. Now I feel angry, disgusted, but while knowing I'm better off.











    Help :hs:?
     
  2. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    12,400
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    NC
    Easy. Forget the bitch. Really, it's the best advice anyone is going to give you. You're young. Don't blow your best years chasing after a dumb bitch who obviously doesn't want you.
     
  3. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    I really have been trying. We've been broken up for over 3 weeks now, during which I felt fine. Up until she called me, and eventually told me. Now I just feel like shit because I really fell for her, and thought she was actually different from all the other girls I heard stories about.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    The only help anyone can give you is to move on. What she did was shitty, and to be such a chicken shit and not even tell you until after you were broken up proves you are so much better off without such a liar. The problem is you keep talking to her. I know you probably still have some feelings for her or want to keep a friendship but that is impossible until you are over her and the situation.

    A long time ago I was in a relationship for 2 years or so. When we broke up it was because I had noticed he wasn't loving me the same way he did in the earlier stages of our relationship. We broke up and I found out a week later that he had been cheating on me for months. I had no idea and at first was so disgusted. How could he stay with me all that time and live with himself? But then I just thought "Wait, why do I care? He's a douche bag and will get what he deserves!" And I heard he did. It's been years now and old friends will still tell me how his life is in the dumps, I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he can't get a girlfriend to save his life.

    Basically, what I'm trying to say is stop talking to her and stop talking about her to friends. Stop checking her facebook and/or myspace because it will only make you think of her more. Get yourself out with friends and meet new women. You don't have to start a relationship, but at least meet new women and make yourself feel validated.
     
  5. mooredodge

    mooredodge 3,2,1 I'm the bomb...and I'm ready to go off in yo

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    13,605
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Park
    I can't really offer any advice, I'm going through a similar situation right now. This line I quoted from you really hits home for me though. It reminds me of the saying "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist". :sadwavey:
     
  6. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    Thanks :). I made it clear on the day we broke up that I wanted no friendship with her (this was before I found out). She didn't get it. Second time she calls me, and tells me that she now believes I was right in that decision (I can guarantee it was because of what all her new "friends" told her). I didn't get her facebook for all 3 weeks, up until now. I'm definitely going to try harder to avoid anything having to do with her now.
     
  7. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    :hug: best of luck to you man.
     
  8. mooredodge

    mooredodge 3,2,1 I'm the bomb...and I'm ready to go off in yo

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2004
    Messages:
    13,605
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Park
    You too. :hsd:
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Yeah, good luck. The hardest part is always trying to drop them from your life completely. It takes a lot of willpower not to check up on them. But you'll be amazed after a while how they slip from your mind. This is of course considering you do try and move on by getting out and doing fun things to forgte about them completely. Also, please don't assume all women do this, because we don't.
     
  10. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    I'm trying not to. I really don't want to think the way I do now, but because of what this bitch did, when I really thought she wasn't like this, I find it hard not to have a certain resentment. I do know that not all women are like that, but the fear of having something like this happen again is really starting to get to me.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I understand. That's why I only suggest to have casual relationships for a long time until you do find another girl you genuinely feel comfortable with...
     
  12. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    I don't really know what I want at this point. Anything to help me get over this, really. The mental images just don't stop popping up in my mind. Hopefully the right girl comes along quicker than I think she will.
     
  13. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,881
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Auckland, New Zealand
    This is a big one for me, I'm only 3-4 months out of my last relationship, It ended really badly and I am having trouble trusting new girls that I am starting too meet. So don't feel like you have to rush into the next one (heed the above advice)

    Yeah I actually met the guy last year that my ex was sleeping with and the images in my head made me physically sick as well, the sick feeling has gone away now but I still have anger when I think about - my advice to you is to run/work out (if you aren't allready doing that) It has helped me a lot and it makes me feel better about my self when I get up in the morning and look at my self in the mirror.

    You might not be at the stage yet where you start to think about all the things you did wrong (small or big) and to wonder if you caused her to do what she did, but don't ever beat your self up about it - nothing you did could justify what she did to you.

    Edit: also, remove all photos of her and you etc from your computer/phone, delete all the txts and e-mails etc - or forward them to an old e-mail account you hardly use.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Umm, I never said for him to "jump into" a new relationship. In fact I was saying to just go out and see what else is out there. Have casual flings if he likes until he finds another girl he feels comfortable with.
     
  15. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,881
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Auckland, New Zealand
    I never said you did:squint:
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :mamoru: I don't know why, but for a moment I read "heed this advice" as don't listen to this...sorry.
     
  17. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    2,620
    Likes Received:
    0

    Um yeah I have been hung up on this chick for 6 months now..... And just now getting over it. I haven't trusted ANYONE male or female. But I am working on this now and feel a lot better. I have been running and working out recently and feel 10x better.

    All of my real friends think I should get revenge on her not because of what she did to me as my girlfriend. But the fucked up shit she did to me as my best friend. Friends do not talk shit about you behind your back and they do not go around telling everyone your personal business that could get you fired. Jesus I am still pissed about this. I am giving her one more chance to make this up to me.
     
  18. timmay556

    timmay556 Jibilar

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2007
    Messages:
    1,881
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Auckland, New Zealand
    I did the same thing right after my ex told me, first day it was that she had cheated once, the second day she said it was 3 times, then the third day it was many, many times. I spoke to her 4 days after that and spent all night in my car talking to her right by the spot we used to spend every Saturday @ down by the beach for years as kids, she told me she loved me and wanted to work things out and gain my trust back she said she didn't love this guy any more and didn't want to be with him.

    1 Week later she had sold her phone, our dog and completely disappeared. I'm pretty sure she isn't in the country any more (off to England to be with this guy)

    My dad gave me one huge piece of advice that I still run through my head today: Stop listening to your heart, and start listing to your head.
     
  19. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    Wow your dog? Thats some fucked up shit.

    I am trying to keep my head level, and slowly going day by day. I did feel a little better today, not nearly as bad as I did yesterday, but the pain is definitely still there. It comes any time something comes up that reminds me of her. And as for the advice about working out, I've been weight lifting for a year (although I suppose I don't look very big in the picture I posted, its a bit old), so I don't think that will change much.


    Now what I'm fearing is what I'll do. It's very likely that I will see the guy she let feel up on her sometime in the future, and honestly I've always had a violent side (only to people who've fucked with me though, and I would never hit a girl). I'm not a huge meathead or anything, but guarantee that I can really hurt that guy. He works at a Cold Stone not too far from my house (I can't even eat Cold Stone anymore), and really don't know what I'll do if I encounter him.
     
  20. Guerilla Grower

    Guerilla Grower New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2006
    Messages:
    862
    Likes Received:
    0
    The best thing you can do direct your focus away from all this, be the better person. Fact of the matter is she's the one that fucked up, theres not reason to get into a physical confrontation with a person. Do your self a favor and do everything you can to put your mind else where. The sooner you do so you can move on. Don't give her any chances whatsoever, theres no point as I guarentee it won't make the situation any better.

    Fuck her and all her bullshit, push above all that and better you life. It may not look as easy as that sounds but months down the road from now your going to wish that you have just forgot all about it and moved on to better things. Good luck bro, we've all been there and it's not a happy place.
     
  21. MrYads

    MrYads New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    1,820
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Queens, NYC
    For the past 2 days, I've been feeling a little better each day. I try not to think about it, obviously it still comes up in my head.


    A few minutes ago, she sent me this message on aim:
    "im sorry for not being sorry ill know one day i ll truly mean an apology but its just too early"

    There was no response I could give her. So many things were going through my mind when I read that. "How horrible of a person do you have to be to not feel any remorse as to what she did?" and things of that nature. "I'm not going to wait around for an apology." "Why should an apology from someone who made me feel so horrible matter anyway?".

    So, seeing as I couldn't decide on what type of response would be the best, I just ignored her until she signed off. Now I'm here doing what I wish I wasn't, which is thinking about the situation again.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    i'd just like to add, there will always be problems in a relationship where you presume to mandate things.

    "don't do coke" "don't fuck other guys" - all mandates are bad.
     
  23. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest


    :rofl:

    is she serious? :rolleyes:




    :werd:
     
  24. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    damn dude thats straight up BS good luck
     
  25. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    She showed you through her actions that she doesn't respect you. So, show her through your actions that she's not worthy of your time. Don't waste any of your valuable time communicating with her through any medium - remove her from your facebook/myspace and IM lists, block her email address(es) from your accounts, remove her number from your phonebook, etc.

    You have better things to do. Go do them. Don't waste time trying to fix a broken past when the future is yours for the taking.
     

Share This Page