SRS girlfriend of 2.5 yrs breakup. move on or win back

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by stillmatic, Aug 6, 2006.

  1. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    to make a long story short here it is.

    me - 23 asian
    her - 25 white
    relationship - 3 yrs this september

    she dumped because she didn't love me anymore, some of the reason because of this are basically my fault. i lost contact with most of my friends in the last year. i just wanted to hang out and be with her all the time. i was needy and this past year i became a pussy. i didn't let her into my network friends because i thought they wouldn't like her. so i guarded her a bit and didn't go out and have a social life. i had no life outside her. i have some trust issues.

    now all i do is workout, attempt to mend old/make new friendships, work, just trying to put my life together again. its been a month since we broke up and she's seeing a new guy. my x, x's roommate, roommate's guy friend, and the new guy went camping for the long weekend.

    i'm a mess right now. its so hard to convince people i'm good guy still (used to do socially immoral things. right now i'm giving her space and time. but we have plans to talk on tuesday, i think i'll bump it to friday so i won't look needy.its really hard not to text or call. i'm trying fix my life first and i really love her and want to win her back...or should just not contact her anymore. i got lazy in the relationship and i know the errors in my ways and am changing. what should i do?
     
  2. Zenmang

    Zenmang New Member

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    Fix your insecurity issues. That's the main reason you pushed her away. Your insecurity with you being asian and her being white is a big one too get over it or don't be in an interracial relationship.

    stop being so possessive/obsessive. Give your true friends time to readjust you to and you being single again. Stop being such an ass to good friends.

    Obviously it's hit you hard. Your doing the right thing working out and keeping busy. Don't make the mistake in thinking you can go back, you need to brush it off as a lesson learned, on what NOT to do.

    imo i don't think it will work if you got back with her. Reason being is because you've already stated that she has moved on.

    This is just my advice to you from a person who has been in a very similar scenario. Do what you must as i know everyone has to learn on their own accord gl
     
  3. redna

    redna New Member

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    1. Why does your ethnicity matter?

    2. Move on.. and learn from the experience. Let your next chick into your friend zone too... they seem to get insecure if you dont let them meet your friends.
     
  4. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    move on. trying to win the person back never works really works because if you get that person back you aren't equals in the relationship anymore. she will sort of have all the power and you will be the "lucky" one for her letting you come back and you will sort of owe her. (not the best way to phrase that, but i think you know what i mean.) and don't bother trying to be friends either. it results in basically the same thing. the friendship will be unbalanced. move on and work on bettering yourself and loving yourself so your next relationship will be healthier.
     
  5. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    move on buddy. If you're meant to be you'll cross paths again someday. don't fight for something that's lost. if it's lost forever or not - well..you'll find that out as the years go on.
     
  6. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    oh and btw that guy is just a rebound. girls tend to use guys to get over their x's. 3 year relationship and she's ready for something completely new in a month? lol. right.

    He'll get used for awhile, and when what she's using him for is used up, he'll be disposed of.

    Either way though, don't let it be of a concern to you. I wouldn't even talk to her this Friday or whenever you have your plans. What is there to discuss? She'll probably sit and talk to you about her new guy to make you jealous which'll just in turn make you feel like shit.
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2006
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Move on. There is no other choice. She doesn't want you anymore.
    Don't date for a few months. Spend that time learning the lessons from this time around.
     
  8. ninjakitty

    ninjakitty New Member

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    I'm with the others here, if you haven't talked to her already. I would say that as hard as it will be, you have to move on. Concentrate on mending your friendships and improving yourself before you try to get into any more relationships. I've always felt that if you break up once, you will break up again. Better to move on now and work on the issues you have so that you can find true happiness. Whether it is with her or not, you need time to make yourself whole first and then see where life leads you.
     
  9. Martinj

    Martinj New Member

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    Forcing yourself to forget will NOT help. What will help you forget, is keeping yourself busy busy busy busy busy. I have found reading books, talking with friends, joining courses, doing fun fun fun things will make you forget. I had troubles not thinking about my ex, she cheated on me with some girl and left me. Thing is. Now when I started meeting new people, reading books, I am moving on. I am also set to start wind surfing in France in 2 weeks, and I am reading tons about it. This helps, or helped me. I hope it helps you.
     

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