girlfriend is too clingy... HELP!!!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Brigante, Feb 20, 2006.

  1. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    love my girlfriend to death. enjoy being with her but she has become too clingy. she comes over unexpectedly, wants me to take her with me everywhere i go. i can't even go gas up my car without her wanting to come with. when we're with my friends, i can't go anywhere without her clinging onto my arm. i tell her to go talk to the girls, she says she'd rather be by me. i try to tell her she doesn't have to go with me all the time but then she just thinks i'm trying to get rid of her and throws a fit.

    i have a tahoe trip coming up which happens to also be a bachelor party for my buddy, so obviously this'll be just guys (cept for the strippers, hehe). but she always hints on wanting to come; even after long explanations on "THIS IS A BACHELOR PARTY!!!!" what can i do without being an ass to her?? i don't think this justifies a break-up. it's not that big a deal but sometimes i'd like to just be able to turn around and not see her there for once.

    i've had clingy girlfriends before but this current one is on a whole new level. the ironic thing is though she's the best girlfriend i've ever had. she's loyal, funny, intelligent, and all that good stuff. and did i mention LOYAL??? i'd hate to lose her over this.
     
  2. marauder

    marauder New Member

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    Maybe just try telling her you need a bit of space sometimes and if she has a fit just ignore her until she calms down.
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Honestly? You just have to put your foot down. Sit her down for a serious conversation, and first of all ask her why she's always wanting to stick with you everywhere. I'm not saying this is the case, but is there any reason she would have to not trust you? That's about the only thing I could think of at this point.

    You just have to tell her that it's ok to lead separate lives in addition to the one y'all have together. A couple needs time apart in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Give yourselves time to miss eachother so that your time together is that much more special and enjoyable. I can tell you're starting to get sick of her always being there, and that's the very early stages of a relationship that will eventually end. If she can force herself to let you do things on your own NOW, that can be stopped, and the relationship can grow stronger.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I'd partially agree. I think it's great that she likes being with you, but she is making you uncomfortable. I would tell her that you think that it's important that she is a little more independant. Tell her nicely buty in a firm manner that you do need a little space. Be calm and mature about it, and just let her know this is the way it is. I just wouldn't get too much in depth. Keep it from becoming therapy, basically!

    She sounds like a great woman in many ways, so I think you just need to learn how to say "No" to her every once in a while. It's tough, but I find that it works very well for me.
     
  5. MrMan

    MrMan New Member

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    Say, "do you not trust me or anything?". Why do you always have to be around me whenever I'm doing something.
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I doubt it's a trust issue, I bet it's more that she's insecure and needs you to be a father figure for her.
     
  7. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    So, what are we -- singing "Prince" songs now?? :rofl:
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Is that a Prince song? :dunno: :mamoru: Heh.
     
  9. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    In every relationship, there needs to be a "yours", a "mine" and an "ours". If those are out of balance, then the relationship is not as strong as it could be. Things on two legs aren't nearly as stable as things on three. She needs to have her own aspects to her life just are you need yours.

    I had the same sort of questions as BBG in that why is she acting like this? Maybe not so much that she doesn't have reason to trust you as much as maybe someone hurt her very badly and she's going to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Or she's been accused in the past by someone else of not being loyal. Some such like that.

    As for not being worthy of a break up, I'm not so sure that the problem won't escalate to being break-up worthy. People don't handle being smothered very well.
     
  10. MP525i

    MP525i New Member

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    i'm dealing with the same thing in my relationship of almost 2 years now. it's like we're never apart. and when we are, we're always meeting responsibilities (class, work, etc.). i don't remember when either of us just had time to ourselves to just do whatever we wanted (individually and not together).

    i've tried bringing this up once before and she took it WAY too personal, like i was attacking her or something.

    i love her dearly and we're both madly in love.... but (there's always a but), i feel we both need a little down time for ourselves.

    the advice given here has been good. maybe i'll try this again.
     
  11. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    First of all, it beets the antithesis, where she's always out whoring.

    Just tell her. Apparently you are in control, so make it such. I was like this a few years ago, then I was alone for almost 5 years and found myself, and created a personality.
     
  12. spyder2581

    spyder2581 Active Member

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    Tell her that you need some space sometimes and if she gets defensive just tell her what you told us right here....how shes the best girlfriend you have ever had and how you wouldnt do anything wrong for her to no trust u
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Some women are like that, its her personality.

    If that doesnt fit what you want, why change her? SHe obviously isnt the one for you, so move on.
     

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