Girlfriend is shy, help!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bonez56, Mar 5, 2006.

  1. bonez56

    bonez56 New Member

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    I've been with my girlfriend for about 12 months now, and she's very very shy in the bedroom.

    She doesn't feel comfortable with her body, and does not like to be looked at without clothes on, she also won't get on top of me because of the same reason.

    It usually ends up me spooning her or getting on top most of the time. I'm getting bored and want to try more things, but she often refuses because she's too shy.

    Don't get me wrong, she loves sex, and has probably had far more experience than I have, she's done many many things. I have a feeling that most of the stuff she's done before in the past has involved her being very drunk...

    I really want to be with her, but any tips on how to get her to open up? I know that she could teach me a thing or two, but how and where do I start? :hsd:
     
  2. hewmanbing

    hewmanbing your mom is hot.

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    get her very drunk? :dunno:
     
  3. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    What do you say to her?

    I'm one to tend to be shy but it's easier to open up and eventually grow confident with the person I'm with if they like what I do allow them to see. The more they build my confidence and let me know that they like what they see the easier and more comfortable I am with it. If you aren't doing much to help alieviate her insecurities that could be why... :dunno: Females want to know you aren't going to judge them. We need a soft place to fall and know that you care dispite our flaws.
     
  4. Sean John

    Sean John Guest

    Just say...You look great..I want to see you...If you were ugly or looked bad, I would NOT be asking you to take your clothes off.
     
  5. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    After a year you'd hope she'd be pretty damn comfortable with you. You probably just need to reassure her that you think she is sexy/hot/beautiful/whatever and try and get her to open up more. If she doesn't think could become a bit of an issue in your relationship.
     
  6. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    compliment her on her assets* early during foreplay.. while she's still mostly clothed you want to make it clear through body language that you're getting her clothes off because you're attracted to what's underneath them.

    there's a lot more to pressing a woman's buttons than going "come on take your clothes off, I think you look great naked!".


    *boobies!! also smooth skin, shoulders/neck/ears etc.. use a bit more imagination ;)
     
  7. bonez56

    bonez56 New Member

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    Thanks for your replies. Without making myself sound like I have a big head, I think (and have been told by a few different women, including my current GF) that I am rather "very cuddly" always like to cuddle up and spend a lot of time making her feel great, touching/kissing her face/neck/titties etc, so i'm not just a complete hard-ass and just want to fuck and go to sleep.

    Even though we are both slightly overweight (not big fat asses, but slightly bigger than your average skinny prick), i'm quite happy with myself and always let her do and see whatever she wants to me, but she seems very afraid of showing her body to me because she thinks she's fat and ugly. It's most certainly not the case, and i've told her many times that she is sexy and she shouldn't worry, i've said many things to try and comfort her so that she can in turn be more comfortable with her body.

    The problem I think she has, is that i'm her first "real" boyfriend, up until before we started going out, she just used to go home with random guys, and that's pretty much what she's done during most of her sex life. Now that i'm on the scene, and we've been together a while, it really seems to be taking a long time for her to open up and share herself with me.

    I really just don't know how to get her to open up, but one thing I am aware about is that these things take time. She has certainly got a lot better in the last 3-4 months, but she really doesn't like getting on top of me because she seems worried that I am judging her, or the size of her gut etc. It's really not an issue for me, I love her body just the way it is, and from the sounds of it, more than she does.

    I never say anything negative and am always trying to make her feel good about herself...

    I'm not sure what else I can do. Maybe I just need to wait?
     
  8. socosurf4

    socosurf4 New Member

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    honestly the best thing u can do is A) keep complimenting her, make her feel like gold, or B) get her drunk. trust me. lol
     
  9. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    Do you tell her often that you think she's sexy? Just out of the blue... are you like "Damn, you are hot." Or do you wait until you're horny and want to sleep with her. Not saying that I think that or that you'd be an ass for it. Some guys just don't think about it. Alot of building a girls confidence and trust can have a lot to do with timing. ;)
     
  10. TheMemoo

    TheMemoo New Member

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    that's mean..

    Anyways, I don't think people think that I am fat, but I am a girl and so I always feel like I am fat. You already said your gf is alil overweight, so she must feel that she is really really fat and that is why she is uncomforotable.

    I agree with everyone that you need to constntly tell her how sexy and beautiful she is and also tell her you like her that way she is and you find her ___ so sexy. Even if she is like "no ur lying..." deep inside she likes it and the more you do it the more she will open up.

    Also try doing new things with the lights off and it being dark. You can't just make her be a sexi vixen out of the blue. She has to gradually trust you. Once you finally unleash the freak inside her, she won't be shy about being a freak in front of you.

    Suggestions:
    You should have her blind found u and like let her do whatever (whip cream, chocolate syrup, idk all that yumy stuff).
     
  11. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    absolutely. if you only ever compliment a woman when you stand to immediately gain from it then you're almost wasting your breath. complimenting them at other times will be a big winner.
     
  12. bonez56

    bonez56 New Member

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    Thanks for all the replies. I do compliment her quite often, sometimes a number of times a day, mostly when we aren't in bed too.

    I'll just keep doing it, and I took a couple of other points of advice from some of the posts so i'll give them a go too.

    Ta!
     

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