SRS Girlfriend is extremely flirty/too friendly with guys.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by sexhaver420, Mar 15, 2005.

  1. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    I guess Im here to ask you guys if you think this is wrong or not. I dont want you guys to tell me to break up with her because that is out of the question. We've been together for about six months and I always knew this kind of stuff was going on but never thought that it was as bad as it was until today. I was always not really caring and just looking passed it. I love her anyways and I know she is a flirty person. This is also the downside to going out with a flirty girl. I can put up with it, I dont really care but I think it went to far today.

    I drove 15 minutes to her friends house to do homework with her. When I get there shes on the computer talking to three guys online. And then she proceeds to tell me that 2 or mabye three of these guys like her. At this point its like, whatever... shes just a flirty girl. These guys are just chasing a girl they'll never get. Then I start to question her about it... "Well... who are these people..." Then she goes on and tells me... They are just RANDOM people she meets ONLINE. She doesnt even know them in real life. I see her then send her picture to one of them. Im like "WTF :hsugh: " Then I asked her why she sent him her pic. She said "Oh well hes already seen my picture online." You know girls, they are into this MySpace shit. Im like "oh whatever" Then a another guy messages her and starts talking. I try to joke it off but its taunting me too much. I dont really remember what they were saying but it was flirting online if I've ever seen it. I then confront her "Stop flirting with these guys."
    She then says "Im not flirting I'm like this to everyone." then I say "Well. If they like you what kind of signals are you sending them to get them to like you?" She has nothing to say and just types to one of them:
    her: my boyfriend thinks were flirting
    guy: wait
    guy: you have a boyfriend?
    I then tell her "I drive 15 minutes over here and instead of talking to me you're flirting with guys online. Guys that like you and are trying to get with you, that have no idea you have a boyfriend."
    I then pick up my keys and grab my backpack like I'm going to leave, she stops me and turns off her computer monitor. "hunny, dont go! whats wrong? I'm sorry"
    After talking a bit longer I find out that she trades phone #s with these random guys she meets online and talks to them on the phone. She tells me she does like theres nothing wrong with it.

    Do you guys think shes flirting or what? Is this crossing the line? What are some things I could tell her?

    I know this is a girl problem but I thought Id ask in here instead of the vag because I'd find a smarter reply in here. It also saddens me deeply.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2005
  2. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,235
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Wow. If any girl I was with did that, especially being so bold as to do it in front of me, I wouldn't have even looked back after I picked up my backpack and keys. I would have walked right out that door and drove home, giving her some time to see if she is capable of thinking about the effects of her actions on the guy she has been dating for six months. I wouldn't care if my gf was on myspace, but only if it was for her friends. I see no reason why she should be talking to random guys she doesn't know, and giving them her phone number? What? Does she honestly think she would be ok with you talking to random girls you meet online on the phone and sending them your picture? Doubtful.

    In terms of things to tell her. I would do the "walk a mile in my shoes" thing. I see this really as a maturity issue I guess. You have my opinion on the matter, lol.
     
  3. hangintree

    hangintree Guest

    my friends gf was flirting with me, soon after she was my gf

    id be really careful 'cause by the looks as soon as the grass is greener shes going to jump across
     
  4. merpan

    merpan Guest

    I have a little story for you. A friend of mine was an on line addict. She used to go on all the time and talk to guys from all over the states. Her boyfriend asked her MANY times to stop or at least ease up a bit. She had been with him for two years and in this whole time she continued to go online talk to these guys, talk to them on the phone and such. She even went as far as to meet one of them. She said "just as friends so she can get to know him better" She ended up sleeping with this "friend" and he gave her clamidia. She now doesn't go on line and have a whole bunch of conversations with different guys. She also no longer has a boyfriend either, but hey. Anyways do what you would like, but please take a good look at what she is doing and ask yourself if it's really innocent. :ugh:
     
  5. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Messages:
    541
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Beverly Hillz, California *~ I LOVE FANMAIL! ~* Je
    Depends on the type of girl/relationship.

    For a Christian it wouldn't be ok.
    Now, if you're a bouncer at the strip club that she works at...

    Depends on the type of girl/relationship.
     
  6. It really doesn't matter what she's doing. What matters is how you're responding and feeling about what she's doing. You're uncomfortable - therefore talk about it with her. If she respects your point of view, and changes her behavior, then you're golden, if you explain how you feel, and she doesn't change her behavior - you'll have to decide whether you're willing to accept it, or end the relationship.
     
  7. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Messages:
    541
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Beverly Hillz, California *~ I LOVE FANMAIL! ~* Je

    They are both one in the same.
    As far as socirty is concerened, when some says "yea, my gf is doing this and that", we can pretty much assume he's not very happy.
     
  8. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    7,347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    Exactly. There's really not much more to it. I like how you started with "dont tell me to break up because thats out of the question", so your basically looking for some positive reinforcement from us to tell you everything is ok, but the problem here is that obviously everything is not ok and you're telling us that.
     
  9. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    7,347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    The irony of this is that you already know the answer to your problem because you're giving others the same advice ;)
     
  10. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    Okay I really dont get whats going on. Im hearing so much shit about my girlfriend. I just heard a bunch of rumors now. It's really frightening me. I know these rumors arent true but rumors are based upon something. Something obviously is not right here. She has to be doing something slutty for me to hear stuff like.

    "She gave blowjobs to over half the people on varsity baseball."
    "She flirts with guys all the time."

    I found out that two years ago she let guys feel up her breasts. I thought that was a rumor and then I became really close friends with one of the guys that did, I talked to him about it. Then I talked to her about it. She admitted to it. She said she did it so she could feel horny. What concerns me is that two years ago within a relationship she would let a guy feel up her breasts. The same year she would let random guys feel up her breasts TOTALLY SOBER. Now she gives blowjobs in a relationship and Im hearing that she gives blowjobs to random guys.

    I just dont understand. :dunno: help me OT :wtc:
     
  11. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....she sounds totally screwed up man. In this case, I say run and don't look back.
     
  12. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh we ARE communicating, believe me. I just don't know what to expect. We had a long ass talk about it last night and the day before. She told me she would stop doing it.

    But heres the twist. One time i asked her to stop hugging guys and she still does it. She even still says "OH well that was that ONE time." "Oh that was only because hes my family friend" "Oh well I havent seen him in a long time" Then one time she said her excuse for the guys I see her giving hugs to "Oh I only give guys hugs when youre around because then you know about it..." Then there was this one time when I was driving to pick her up I turned the corner and she was hugging a guy, never saw me. She had a :eek3: look on her face. It doesnt bother me that she does it but bothers me that she lies about it. Then after that she said "Oh... well thats because I havent really talked ot him in a while." Then I said "Oh how come Kevin tells me about the guys you hug in between passing periods?" (we go to different schools) Then she goes on and tells me about that and makes an excuse for that. Also one time I was with her and she didn't hug this one kid and he was like "why wont you hug me" she just said "No its okay" then later on after like two months I happend to be next to that kid. I asked him "Did she give you a hug the day before?" He said "yeah she did." Then I talk to her about it and she said "Oh but I didn't hug him back"

    Like I said It doesnt bother me that she does it It just bothers me that she says she doesnt and she still does.

    In conclusion I guess she just doesn't know how to treat guys.

    Now that communication is achieved my worry is now:
    She said she would stop, but how do I know that she actually will stop when the last time she said she would stopped she didnt. And then Kept telling me she did.

    :sadwavey:
     
  13. Bingo, he just needs to obviously be reassured that what he's seeing and how he's feeling about it are acceptable, and certainly they are.
     
  14. Actions speak louder than words. If you continue to feel how you feel - then it's not working for you, and you'll need to remove yourself.
     
  15. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand that she is the flirty type of girl. I understand that and accept that. Thats just her, I love her no matter what. Even if she is a little bit flirty, thats part of who she is and who I fell in love with. Thats why I dont really care if she hugs guys - thats just part of who she is. But then exchanging numbers is taking it TOO far. I dont care how flirty you are, you dont do that in a an official relationship. Especially when the guy youre flirting with thinks you're single.
     
  16. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    3,748
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would never. :love: It's just out of the question. I dont know if you understand or not. :dunno: :love:
     
  17. Faceless

    Faceless New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2005
    Messages:
    5,375
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Driving Miss Daisy
    Dump her ass now. I would not put up w/that
     
  18. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2003
    Messages:
    7,347
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    I don't know if you understand that your setting yourself up for a world of hurt down the road. You have the key facts slapping you in the face constantly that shes lies, she continues to see other guys, etc... yet you continue to be led blindly by her. There is no coaxing you into anything, so I'm not sure why you asked for opinions if yours is the only one that matters. :dunno:
     
  19. veonake

    veonake OnT poster, OT lurker

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,235
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Oh man, I just saw that you are in high school. 17? She was letting guys feel her breasts when she was sober at 15? (assuming she isn't even younger). Get out of this relationship man. I know you really like her and all, and it will be difficult. But, you are in for a world of hurt if you don't get out soon. This is not a girl I would trust, nor be in a long term relationship with.
     
  20. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2005
    Messages:
    2,947
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    upstate ny
    i really thought u were overreacting, until the guy said, "wait, u have a gf?"

    thats unnacceptable
     
  21. Then you'll need to accept this behavior if she's unwilling to change and the feelings you have continue to remain.
     
  22. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah. Assume she drops all that kind of activity right now for you...could you imagine always having to worry about this for a long-term relationship?
     
  23. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    exactly. That bit, right there, tells you the tone of the interaction. Your so-called gf will spin it and tell you its nothing, its innocent.

    Well, that other guy clearly didn't think so, and as he is a neutral party with nothing to hide from you, I think his read on the situation is the one you should be taking your cues from.
     
  24. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2005
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, those other guys she's having innocent fun with are getting screwed over too. :nono:
     
  25. Kyoushu

    Kyoushu きょうしゅ

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2002
    Messages:
    2,965
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was reading this and at first I was thinking, "Ok he must just be really insecure about his relationship or not trust his girlfriend". Which that very well may be. I don't know. She could just be looking for attention from these guys. You know all girls love attention, someone telling her she's pretty. If she told them she had a boyfriend I'm sure their attitudes would change towards her and she wouldn't get the same effect from them. Which is pretty innocent when you think of the other things like she's trying to hook up with these guys etc.
     

Share This Page